I just can't forgive a family member of mine that molested me when I was about 6. I have never told ANYONE about this, not even my husband & it is really getting to me. The guy that molested me is suffering with his health right now & I enjoy watching him suffer. I even pray that he will suffer more even though I know you are not suppose to. Beings that I have never forgiven him & I don't want to forgive him, does that mean that God will not forgive me for my sins? Please help me, I am really confused. Thanks in advance.
2006-07-16 09:20:18 · 20 answers · asked by domestic?goddess 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am going to have to leave this one up to the voters. You all desearve a best answer!
2006-07-18 15:26:57 · update #1
I am really sorry that these things happened to you. I'm not going to say that I know how you feel, I can only imagine how horrible it would be to endure such an enormous violation. I can also understand how you could not be able to forgive him and that it makes you feel better knowing he is suffering now.
God doesn't need to forgive you because God is the energy of pure, unconditional love for us all. God does not judge or condemn, that's what humans do.
I believe that before we incarnate into the physical dimension and we are still in the spiritual plane as souls, we choose our life's circumstances. We choose major issues that we will have to deal with and who our parents will be among other things. These choices are part of the free will given to us by God.
However, once here, we still have choices. We have the power to attract experiences into our existance by the universal law of attraction.
The law of attraction is that the vibrations (via our conscious or unconscious beliefs, thoughts, emotions, words, actions) we put into the world, and whether they are positive or negative, love-based or fear-based, lead to the events that we experience in return, in one form or another.
You chose this for yourself, before you were born, for a reason. You need to find out what you can learn and how you can grow, spiritually from it.
This does not in any way mean that what happened was "your fault". The person who abused you should be punished for the crime committed against you. You may have possibly chosen this as an issue for your life to be a lesson to someone else, or to save someone else from this type of abuse. Or perhaps you wanted to learn the lesson of God's divine aspect of forgiveness. It's hard to say...I can only speculate.
I hope this helps somewhat. I have listed some reading material in the sources below which you may find helpful. I have.
Sending you love, light and blessings.
2006-07-16 09:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow yourself to get this way. Knowing that you are doing something wrong is the first step to changing what you feel and act in this type of situation. What you went through was hard, but think about it, God had a reason as to why he allowed your relative to do this to you. Perhaps to make you stronger? To teach you the lesson of forgiveness, and the value of the human sexuality? If you continue to act this way, then you are no better than that person who molested you when you were young and defenseless. Now that there is nothing he can do against you, and he is the weaker one, don't you think you are acting the way he did?
You of all people should know how it is to be bullied when you are obviously more defenseless. Surround yourself with the people who love you and share with them the pain and the sorrow and how you truly feel, trust me, you will feel a lot better after that. Don't be afraid that they will reject you, because if they do love you they will understand, You should support this relative of yours because you might regret it for the rest of your life, if you don't.
Even the people who hurt you, has done something to make you stronger, to make you who you are today. Be there for him, because he is your own flesh and blood. Don't think of the pain that he brought onto you, think of the pain he is suffering right now, and I'm sure that you will understand what you have to do.
2006-07-16 16:30:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mujareh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow.... I don't know. Have you ever read "The Hiding Place" by Corrie Ten Boom? She had that problem, not being able to forgive.... and.... read it some time. I'm sorry you were molested...... it's so frustrating when my words won't help you... Anyway, yes, God does say we need to forgive to be forgiven... pray that God will heal you. Pray that God will first help you to atleast want to forgive him, or even want to want to forgive him... urrr, I wish I could help. Have you talked to a counselor? I think the first step is that you really do need to tell someone, that's a huge burden to carry alone.
2006-07-16 17:46:06 · answer #3 · answered by neigeblanc18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were harmed and did not get any justice at the time. Now you are seeing this as him getting what he has deserved for a long time. "Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord." But humans are entitled to justice.
In my religious belief system, I don't see how your seeing this as justice is a sin. Just like if someone killed one of your family members. I REALLY have a problem with forgiving that person. That is so abnormal and un-natural that I don't see how it can possibly be right. The normal human reaction when seeing them punished has to be - Yes, you deserve it. That is so righteous that nobody could ever convince me that God would hold it against you. "Eye for an Eye".
2006-07-16 16:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by Wascal Wabbit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like the song say's take your burdens to the lord and leave them there. do not go back and pick them up what he has done to you in the past was very mean but you have to forgive him in order that GOD will forgive you and also think about the suffering that jesus did just so you me/whole world will be free from sin. he will have to answer to GOD now for whatever sin he did but make sure you don't have to answer for the sin you are doing against him let it go let GOD be your comforter your peace
2006-07-16 16:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by mishoney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn to forgive youself for feeling this way towards him. Get some good counceling and do your best to avoid this family member if at all possible.
Reveling in someone else's pain is not a good thing, it only leads to more hatred and suffering for you.
You have to "Let go and Let God."
2006-07-16 16:24:52 · answer #6 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your family member did to you was horrible. But, no matter how horrible it was you should still forgive him. You harboring all that unforgiveness, bitterness, resentment, rage, anger, etc isn't good for YOU. All of those emotions are inside of you and affecting you, not him. Forgiving him closes that chapter in your life and allows you to move on with a happy and healthy lifestyle.
God forgives us all, and he tells us to forgive for a reason - because he doesn't want us living with all those terrible emotions inside of us. You should also know that you are free to tell people you trust what happened to you - you don't have to keep it a secret, what happened to you was wrong.
As for this man, he will be judged for his sins accordingly. It's not up to you to make sure he suffers, forgive him and move on with your life.
2006-07-16 16:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was molested myself as a child, and believe me I understand your pain, but if some how you can learn to forgive the one who did this to you, you will finally be free from his grasp. Do you understand that as long as you hold hate in your heart for this man, he is still molesting you. Quit giving him all the power take your life back.
2006-07-16 19:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by mitchec725 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is up to you. I went through the same thing and it feels alot better to forgive then to hold on to the hate. I still do not trust him and would not leave my kids with him but I can honestly say that I have forgiven him.
2006-07-16 16:39:11 · answer #9 · answered by melissa s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know it's in your heart to forgive this person or you wouldn't be asking advice on it. imagine standing by and allowing someone to do to your son what was done to Jesus. even Jesus himself said "father forgive them for they don't know what their doing". when someone violates you in the way you were violated, they are not themselves. no human in their right mind would hurt a six year old child. when sin takes over your life you are not that loving caring person that God created you to be. i know this because this same thing happened to me. I was 7 the first time i was raped and then raped again by a family member at 17. the freedom of forgiveness is awesome. this is eating at you because unforgiveness is like a weed. It will choke out anything meant to be beautiful and then your left with a bunch of weeds. please give this to God. He is the only One who can help you!
you're in my prayers
2006-07-16 16:33:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋