If you felt your life had been stuck in a rut for ages,how would YOU try to change things.?

Question

Diagnosed with Depression-despite various treatments not found treatment that has worked for me.
Cannot seem to settle anywhere for any length of time
No family
Few friends
Dont feel well enough to look for work at present
Been badly let down by Health Care Professionals & have now lost trust in them.

Answer 1

From personal experience, including depression and many of the things you mention - I think you need to try and really be strong, break the circle and try something you think you can't do. Be surprised by yourself, start enjoying yourself, appreciate yourself. I haven't been but many of my friends have volunteered in disaster stricken areas, helping with 101 different tasks for people in really terrible circumstances. No experience or anything necessary, just a willingness to try. My friends have learnt to do things they never dreamed possible and it's really changed the way they see things.

If I was stuck in a rut I would try that. I know it's not as easy as all that but you need a life changing experience like that to jump start things for you again, put a new slant on life. Even if it doesn't work (which it will) at least you will have helped someone and that in itself will make you feel better. If you've no family and you're not working, why wait? You'll make loads of friends (even if you're not feeling at all sociable right now) and it'll really help you find a job if you want one later on.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think counselling really works, however you have to stick with it, sometimes it can take a while to really work out what your issues are. It can also be frustrating because often there are long waiting lists. Have you tried anti-depressents? They can work but again , you have to stick with them, they can take two to four weeks to really kick in. In the meantime, if you can think of one thing that you enjoy doing - going for a walk maybe or going to the library and finding a good book to read, or maybe listening to some music? What do you think would give your life some meaning? It can be something really simple, like enjoying nature - go to a park. Helping others - find out what volunteers are needed in your area - most council websites have an area where you can find out about volunteering. Or even, do you find Yahoo Answers a good place to be right now? Because if you look through past questions, there are a lot of people feeling like you do. Do you have anything you can offer them? You may feel like you don't have anything to offer anyone else, but you may be surprised. Take one day at a time, and don't look too far ahead. Hopefully, things will get better for you. Hang on in there, life is often crap but it can also be wonderful.

Answer 3

I think you should turn off the computer, go for a walk, a run, any form of excercise to start. Regular excercise will help you to feel a little better and give you the strength to get back on track to recovery. You need to set yourself realistic and achievable goals, small at first, no step is too small as even the smallest step you make is still a step forward. Think about what you want, if you cannot think of anything then try getting yourself involved in a group activity, anything will do. The way you feel inside is not something that is easy to fix, so you just have to keep at it.

When I feel I am stuck in a rut, a little depressed then I find a way to work my way through it, I will start by excercising more and eating more healthily, only steamed fresh vegetables and a little meat. I avoid snack food and will then search for something new to get involved in. This year I have been into kung fu and skydiving, I would not advise these particular hobbies as solutions to your problem unless you feel comfortable with them, but I know how it feels to just want to let go and give up completely. You have to give yourself a purpose to live and find confidence by setting yourself goals which start off easy and gradually get more difficult. I wouldn't advise medication, from what I hear about that way is that it only relieves the physical symptoms.

Life is about balance, I would advise that you aim to find a good balance between physical and mental activity. This is what I am always working towards as it is a continuous process, there are always slip ups along the way, but you have to pick yourself up and get back into it. You don't have to do this alone, if you do not have the support then join a group that will support you, faith is not a bad thing, I am not a really religious person but I have found a little faith is important for survival, join a church by all means, I dont know if you believe in god but it can help when you need it most. I know I have fallen back on my belief when I have been in some bad situations, some times it's all that keeps you going.

When you feel you are stronger then start thinking about what you really want to do, what is it that you really want, you are alot stronger than you think so when you are ready then go for it.

I have written a quote on a postit on my monitor
"Don't give up, don't ever give up, and when things look worst, just don't give up"

If you feel really bad then I would say join a support group with people with similar problems, whether its online or in your local community, it's important to not be alone. That is what I would do if I didnt feel that anybody could help.

Also remember that because of the nature of depression it will be hard to get close to people or even really "feel", don't give up on people because of these feelings and paranoias which can occur.

Answer 4

The answer to your problem is deep inside you, regardless of family or the number of friends if your unhappy they can not fix your unhappy. Sometimes they are the source of it and amplify it. Settle anywhere is important statement, you don't need to settle and it sounds as if you are in need of a rut that encourages health and mental wellness. Work is also a source of contention in your mind because you metion it and subconsiously know it is part of your existince, who you are and were you derive self worth, self respect and feeling of contriution to the community. I don't care if your a garbage man, sewer maintainence person, or doctor, what you do gives you a sence of belonging and worth. Someone needs you to do that job regardless of the perceptions people have, what matters is it is a means to an end and if that means is making your life a little better so be it! Unfortunately there are unqualified people in every profsion, the HEALTH CARE profession is not exempt it just is one of the most critical, the person could be educationally sound but have the compasion of a cinder block. Mental Health Professionals are unable to give you therapy that will help you unless they have experienced the problem themselves or gone through their own therapy. The responsibility you place on them may or may not be realistic, regardless you feel let down. Look at what it is you expect from someone and ask yourself is it fair, do I have the right to expect anything at all and what is my contribution to get the goal accomplished? Take little problems and start solving them, don't look at all your problems as a whole or you will overwhelm yourself and send yourself tailspinning, no fun at all. Look at the good things in life and focus on the positive not the negative. Each time you shift from positive to negative thinking, stop sit down and write out ten good things about your life. Exercise, go for walks, play tennis or swim, your depression may be manidfested in inactivity an self loathing. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, look at litle kids that are homeless cause parents are strung out or stupid. You'll feel better in a hurry about yourself and wonder why you felt as bad as you have. Look at the babies in your local hospital, the premature babies will tear your heart out, all they want to do is live, they fight, they don't give up! You are better than you think you are, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and someone in this life needs you! Find out who and what! GodSpeed and know I'm in your corner my friend!

Answer 5

You are not alone with this condition and its such a shame that many in the community do not understand it as its not visual and I guess lots of people tell you to pull yourself together, My sister suffered quite badly and was very reluctant to take meds at first but eventually she realised that she had no choice. She is alot better now but I don't think the fear of how bad it was will ever leave her. She has been to a dark place that no one can really understand. My advice it that you try to get meds and also get a daily dose of excercise as this will release endorphines (happy hormones) you will feel fitter and look better. Go for daily walks, increasing time and speed until you can jog for 30 minutes. Stop moving home, your problems will only follow you. Go to a church and speak to a rev or priest. They will help you find God who will give you incredible strength AND ITS FREE. You CAN get better. God Bless.

Answer 6

Need to write down all the things that work and all the things that dont work like a pro and con list. Start going to church, you will be amazed at the love and what a church family can give as far as support and someone to talk to. I know if you found GOD you will know you are not alone ever and he will help guide you along the right path. You just have to open the door to him. With GOD all things are possible, so dont give up.

Answer 7

See if you can find a beginners Photoshop course anywhere. Its the most fun you can have with a pc and you'll meet some nice people. If you have depression I really don't think it helps to focus on yourself too much; try to get the self discipline to learn something new. Photography, painting; anything that involves self expression so you can get it out in your images. It'll boost your self confidence, you'll realise that you're not alone.
I know that getting up and out is difficult; just walk in there and do it. No one will be judging you, and loads of people who have problems go to adult education; they're used to dealing with it and its not a big deal for them.
At the end of the day, if the nhs isn't there for you you have to help yourself; and I think you've realised that. Remember to pat yourself on the back every so often. It takes guts to get up and go when your get up and go got up and went!

Answer 8

if you dont feel like looking for work, maybe you should try volunteering. Just having something to do will make you feel a little better. Make time in your day to go out for a walk..every day. just leaving the house might help.

Join a book club/dinner club/etc. so you have some people to share your interests with.

the first step is the hardest, after that things will begin to improve.

Answer 9

If a Doctor knew how to cure a persons attitude,well it aint gonna happen. A dr can either drug you into such a stooper that you no longer feel, or can drug you into such a state of anxiety that you think you are aware of everything. But these are not you, these are drug effects.
When you decide to change yourself for the better person that you are, then you will find the potential that exists in all.

Answer 10

try something new, something that you haven't tried before. You might discover a hidden talent, or meet new people and make new friends. There are many possibilities that the world offers if you open yourself to it. The world won't come to you, you have to take the first step into it.