please tell me some?
2006-07-16 08:02:26 · 13 answers · asked by pompomgirl292 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
a blond goes to a vantriliquist show. he has a puppet on his knee and says some blond jokes. the blond is very insulted and stood up and said, "How dare you treat us blond differently just because of the colour of our hair! I have a very good job and i have a family! You should b ashamed!"
the man began apologizing immediately but the blond interuptd him.
"Im not talking to you! im talking to that little guy on your knee!"
Why is great having a blond in your car?
You can parked in the handicapped space!
A blond girl came home from school and said to her mother, "mummy! Today we did the alphabet and I could say up to G but the other girls could only say up to E. Is it because im blond?"
her mother nodded, "Yes, dear."
the next day the girl came home and said, "Mummy! Today we did counting and I could count up to 6 but the other girls could only say up to 4. Is it because Im blond?"
her mother nodded, "Yes, dear."
the next day the girl came home and said, "Mummy! Today we did PE and in the showers all the other girls were flat-chested but Im not. Is it because im blond?"
her mother shook her head. "No. It's because you're 28."
2006-07-16 08:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by blah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins?
The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist
How do blondes' braincells die?
Alone.
Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?
She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: What's a blonde's favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.
He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
Have you heard about the blonde psychology major working her way through college as a prostitute?
For fifty bucks, she'll screw with your mind!
Q: Why does a blonde always fail her road test?
A: Because every time the car stops, she jumps in the backseat!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Sunday?
Tell her a joke on Thursday!
A brunette goes to the doctor and says, "Everywhere I touch it hurts." He asks "What do you mean?" So she showed him what she meant. She touched her knee and said "Ouch!" Then she touched her chest and said, "Ouch!" Then her shoulder, "Ouch!"
The doctor looks at her and asks, "Your really blonde, aren''t you?" She replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I am. How did you guess?" Doctor says, "Well your finger is broken."
Q: How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her cigarette
oldies I know... but still funny:)
2006-07-16 17:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Theres a big football field With a table with 1 million dollars on it. On one corner is a Smart blonde, on another santa claus, on another the tooth fairy and another the easter bunny...who will get there first? None cause none of them exist!
Heres more from...http://www.zelo.com/blonde/bleach_blondes.asp Look around theres some good ones
2006-07-16 08:04:51 · answer #3 · answered by Got_a_question? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.
The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.
She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.
The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
2006-07-16 08:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by Shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Blonde And Anatomy 101
The stunning blonde coed was stunned herself when the biology professor asked her, "What part of the human anatomy enlarges to about ten times its normal size during periods of emotion or excitement?"
"I... I refuse to answer that question," the girl stammered as she shyly avoided looking at her classmates
Sitting nearby. One of them was called upon next, and he correctly answered, "The pupil of the eye."
"Miss Williams," said the professor, "your refusal to answer my question makes three things evident.
First, you didn't study last night's assignment.
Second, you have a dirty mind.
And third, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment for you!"
2006-07-16 11:54:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there was a guy sitting behind a blond at a stop sign, the blond was waiting for the sign to turn green
2006-07-16 09:28:38 · answer #6 · answered by Patience M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A dumb blonde, santa claus, the easter bunny, and the tooth fairy are all in the corners of a room with $50,000 on a table in the middle. Who will win?
The dumb blonde...she is the only real one.
2006-07-16 08:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
look at this website for more good ones!
http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/blondejokes.shtml
2006-07-19 11:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A blonde lady tried to become a cop. when they asked her what 8 + 8 was she said 88. they said she thought outside the box. then they asked her when abraham lincoln died. She said she'd know by tommorow. when she got home she excitedly told her husband they wanted her to do detective work already.
2006-07-16 08:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by Matthew A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One blonde asks another blonde "Which is closer? The moon or Florida?" The other blonde responds "Duh...You can see the moon!"
2006-07-16 08:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by jeanhack42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋