Everything was great, aside from one thing...I occasionally like to get high. She used to be a party girl, and doesn't want that kind of thing in her life anymore. I never smoked it around her, and she's never seen me high, but I can't change that part of me. I like to smoke once in a while to relax, have fun, etc. This is an issue that we can't get around, and now I'm wondering if I made a mistake. I can't change who I am though...
There are other women interested in me, but I think I genuinely loved her...am I being stupid or should I wait for someone who accepts me for who I am?
2006-07-16 07:53:21 · 23 answers · asked by Mr. O'Clock 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She gave you a choice, her or the drugs.
You chose the pot.
Live with it, or stop smoking.
2006-07-16 07:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should let you be who you are so long as you're not hurting anybody (forget the health issues for now... we'll concentrate on the relationship bulls*** for now). If she knew that you smoked weed and once accepted you for that anyway, she has no right to start commanding changes from who you fundamentally are. My advice? Find someone who accepts you unconditionally, and who won't try to control-freak your life. (I had to divorce two of these quick-change artists myself... I never tried to tell them what to do, ever! Conversely, trying to change me or tell me what to do is going to earn the woman a one-way ticket out the front door courtesy of my foot).
2006-07-16 15:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can change who you are! If you want something badly enough, you will work for it, period. Everyday we choose to continue to be who we are-- we have tendencies or predispositions and we can choose to stay in status quo or choose differently and make better choices for our lives! Don't get sucked into the idea that you can't change who you are and someone should give you unconditional acceptance-- sorry but you CAN do wrong. Drugs are often used as selfish escapes... check yourself before you wreck yourself.
2006-07-16 15:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by Angie28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was the same way many years ago,don't get me wrong i'm still in my prime,only it was the opposite it was me liking the parting not my boyfriend, well we are happily married now ,i gave up the drugs or he would have left me,the question is do you love her , if u do give them up or u will regret it for the rest of your life,because u will always wonder what would have happened,the key to quitting is if u want to ,remember all u gotta do is occupy yourself instead of wondering about that next high,sex is relaxing too!! try it with her u might like yourself alot better!!!!
2006-07-16 15:08:01 · answer #4 · answered by rose g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are all compromise. If you refuse to stop smoking weed and she can't live with it, you guys can't be together. It doesn't mean you have to hate her now or you shouldn't ever speak to her but it's something neither one of you could live with. Life sucks sometimes.
2006-07-16 14:57:06 · answer #5 · answered by gypsynuke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you broke up with her because she didn't like something?! If u guys didnt fight constantly about it then it sounldn't of been an issue. Every relationship has its flaws and if this is love you guys will work to get past it or around it
2006-07-16 14:57:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have respected her wishes as she had gotten herself clean and that is what you need to do. Smoking is not a good thing, no matter what the reason is that you say you are doing it.
2006-07-16 14:59:47 · answer #7 · answered by RainCloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can never change the way you are for no one and if you think you love her that's not good enough either you love her or you dont just admit it you love to get high and thats your 1st girlfriend and whoever else has to accept that or get lost
2006-07-16 14:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by TEXXBRATT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's going to move on and find someone else. I bet one of the first questions she's going to ask on her dates is, "Do you smoke pot or do drugs of any kind?". You on the other hand are going are going to regret your decision. You basically chose drugs over her.
2006-07-16 15:02:13 · answer #9 · answered by Optimistic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It gets harder and harder to find someone as you get older. If you really love her, give it a try to kick the weed and see how things work out. If you try and just can't do it, then let her go.
2006-07-16 14:58:32 · answer #10 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋