There is no happy ending, what if you can't be happy?

Question

There is no happy ending. I'm 28 years old and I have been single all my life. All I want is a girlfriend and I've always believed that it will work out in the end but now I'm older and wiser and I realize that it won't. There is no happy ending, so don't answer me with, 'the right one will come along' or something like that, because I know they won't.

I'm not one of those suicidal people who come on here crying, but if it all ended tomorrow I wouldn't mind. My life's not going to get any better, only worse. I know that I have nothing to look forward to. It's like there's nothing to live for and yet I keep on living. I don't understand why I am alive and being made to suffer so much.

So what do I do? What do you do when the only thing that could ever give you peace and make you happy is not obtainable? I'm just so sad and over everything and I've tried so hard in the past, but now I'm just an empty shell watching a clock.

I can't ever be happy and I'm only 28.
What will I do

Answer 1

hey buddy every amount of my sympathies are with u, and i feel you, and i no your not lookin for sympathy or empathy just like im not. but im in a similar mind set to you, and if its anything to you, all i no is, is that i wont give up, and i will keep tryin to strive for happiness. im 29, and i think like you i have a gameplan and a strategy of what i want out of life, but its not happened as of yet! and i to am aware with a grim reality that theres no happy ending, just like the hollywood films i used to watch as a kid. my phase right now is one of evaluation, of my whole life, like a highway that forks. where should i go now what should i do?. please hang on buddy. i feel you!

Answer 2

I think you just summed up in a nutshell the reason why you can't find a girlfriend -- you're a mess! You definitely are depressed, and could really benefit from some serious counseling. Women are attracted to men who are confident and fun to be around -- you don't really sound like you're either of those things these days. Please see a counselor. Having a girlfriend is not going to magically cure everything that is making you so unhappy in your life. You sound like a guy with a heavy past -- take some time to sort through all your emotions and your baggage, and you'll make yourself a more attractive prospect for women you meet down the line. Hang in there and don't give up so easily! There's no big hurry when you're only 28!

Answer 3

Contentment is all we can ask for in this life. The word "HAPPY" is overused and not practical. It fades too fast. I think you are in a depression and that clouds your thinking. Try and find something right now which gives you some satisfaction and contentment. I allow myself little time to sit on the pity pot then I have to find a way out. Husband has Alzheimer, he is my life, I cried for 3 years, now I am looking for everything in our situation which I can turn into a joke. The result is really amazing. I can't change what is but we laugh together all the time. Even if he forgets minutes later what we were laughing about, it does not matter. The moment counts. I am sure if you search that you will find something which does give you a reason to live and start with that !

Answer 4

You have very low esteem. You have to love yourself before you are able and willing to love another individual or to have the other individual love you. There are many choices in your lifetime. You are only 28 years old and you don't care if you die today??? There are children that are dieing of cancer. They don't get a choice to what the future will hold for them. You not having a soul mate, is not the end of the world. Life is made up of many choices. You are choosing to be a miserable person, that in fact feels life is over. If you were wiser, you would not be talking about dieing today or tomorrow. If you are wiser, get on with your life. Life is what you make it. Thank you for your question and I know that you will come up with an answer to your so called miserable life....

Answer 5

Well, no, it rarely "just happens" - you actually need to ask
people out and get rejected and pick yourself up and try again.

Dating is a skill - People who are gorgeous generally get asked
out and learn the skill with little effort. Others try to ask out
really gorgeous people, get rejected, depressed and perhaps
give up.

I think the easiest way to proceed is to ask out friends,
people who you aren't smitten by - simply to acquire the
skill (You needn't approach them with that as a line,
however).

Once you have the skill, you may find it easier to approach
your heart's desire and actually get somewhere.

Or ... perhaps in the process of asking someone out who
you aren't head over heals with, you might stumble into someone
who is even better.

Go places, see, be seen ... do ... and THEN start thinking about
committed relationships.

Also, there are lots of ways to be happy, and not all of them
required being involved in a committed relationship or even
sex. If you single that out as the only way of proceeding,
you will continue to keep hurting yourself.

Again: Go places, see, be seen and do. Then start to
think about committed relationships when you actually
have some perspective. You'll be amazed.

Answer 6

Just feel better - Santana feat. Steve Tyler

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Feel for you man. Just know that you are not alone with this. Maybe its a quarter-life crisis. Try to focus on the good things in your life. What are you good at? What are your hobbies and pastimes? Are you happy with your job? With you personal appearance? If not, what can you do to fix that? A haircut cheered me up once, its f'd up IMO, but hey it works... Would religion work for you? I'm not preaching or anything, just maybe it works for some people. Talk to someone, like a friend or a shrink? Tried helping out others? Doing charity work can lift up your soul. Cheer up. Girls don't want some sad bloke dooming and glooming everything up. Don't let A girl be the only reason you are happy, just be happy about your own self. period. Let the girl be the gasoline to your fire, not the match.

And don't say "I can't ever be happy", its a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Answer 7

I didn't find my "Mister Right" until I was 36. And that was after THREE failed marriages! I've gone through quite a lot of heart ache, rejection & abuse. I have been depressed as well & can really relate to your statement "but if it all ended tomorrow I wouldn't mind." I'm glad you are not considering ending it all, just as I'm glad I didn't. You never know whats around the corner. Maybe another heart ache - or maybe love love of your life. Just keep "truckin' along," working on bettering your own life & who knows what will happen next. Just don't assume the worse.

Answer 8

Well, I guess you could sit in your chair and be pissed off that it didn't work out or get off you butt and live your life. You must have interests?, do you enjoy your work? Friends? Maybe doing some volunteer work at your local VA hospital would be a way to meet some new people in your own pier group? Or maybe an elderly hospice? Maybe simply working and accumulating money? Key here is get involved with LIFE, what ever is meant to happen beyond that will, whether that means meeting "Sallie" or simply making many friends along life's highway? At least you played the game to the max. I'd say the ball in your court

Answer 9

Brother, there's not enough space here to do your situation justice. Let me tell you first that years of my life were wasted in despair and depression. A number of things contributed to turning the whole situation around. It wasn't finding a girl-- being in a relationship had its pleasures, but without taking care of the internal enviroment, the negativity always comes out.

My immediate recommendation is to try counseling to help you understand why you perceive your life so negatively. If you want to take full responsibility for your life and make it what you want it to be, you have to do that internal inventory and probe the subconscious to find what you are concealing from yourself and to uncover the quiet little ways your are working against yourself. There's a book with a corny name that has a powerful technology for taking control of your head.... It's called "Feeling Good," by David Burns. I used it, I recommend it.

Answer 10

Not to be abusive Ben (it's not my intent)...

But I have a 24 year old unmarried daughter and we talk all the time about how she'll find the right guy. We talk about dysfunctional personalities and guys who would be "high-maintenance".

Girls have very sensitive radar. They can sense a guy who's fragile and they don't want that. They want someone who has his act together.

So I'd say you're sending out some bad vibes. Try to work on your self-esteem and that vibe will change pretty quickly.

Counseling may help rebuild your confidence. I wish you all the best.

Answer 11

I have been there and I am 45 now,still there I guess. I take with a counsler now and take meds,klonopin and lithium. I am just living every day, that;s all. But I do think about the ones I love while I am thinking it would be nice if I just ended. I'm not suicidal although I have been in the past. I like talking to my counsler she is cool.