What is the safest way to release anger and stress?

Question

I want to be able to control my temper in a safe manner without wanting to fight.I was raised fighting and I want to break the family ways because I'm teaching my 2 kids the wrong way of handling things.

Answer 1

Take personal time outs. Yes, even adults need time outs to cool off. "Mommy needs a break right now." This sets a good example for your children.

If this is a persistent problem, enroll in an anger management class. It's well worth the time in the long run, especially since there are children involved.

Answer 2

First, thanks for being aware of your upbringing and it's potential negative impact on your kids. Here are some ideas to help:

One: when you feel angry, BREATHE! Take a few deep breaths, count to "10" and then just walk away. Say, "Now isn't a good time to talk about this". Imagine you're talking to a little bitty baby. You wouldn't yell at or hit an infant. View this person that way.

Two: Go sit in your car, take a walk outside, get to a private place and yell your head off. Let the negative feelings out. Otherwise, that energy will build up and you'll have a stroke or heart attack or something. Go beat a pillow cushion.

Three: Exercise. Go to the gym and hit the punching bag. Take a walk. Do something to take your mind and body out of the stressful situation.

Four: Meditate. You can take classes on this. You can also visit the website listed below for techniques. Meditation, as I understand it, is about being in state of "no mind". Your mind is the source of your anger. You want something to be a certain way and it isn't. When you learn to quiet your mind, you quiet the source of your anger.

Five: Let go of your expectations. Often stress and anger are the result of having unmet expectations. Someone doesn't do what you want. A situation doesn't turn out the way you'd like. Let go of your expectations and learn to be with "what is". It works for me. I'm not a master of it, but I sure am better at "letting go" than I used to be.

Six: Go have fun! Get out! Have a good time now and then. See a movie, hang with friends, be alone, walk the dog, play a game, go fishing... get a message, sit in the hot tub...go bowling...visit the museum...whatever is "FUN" for you. Do more of that,

I wish you Peace.

Answer 3

I know the feeling. It's really difficult sometimes. I've become a pro at avoiding arguments. Generally if something is bothering me having to do with someone who isn't very important in my life then I don't argue, it's not worth it. I really have to care about someone for the conflict to be worth it. If it's something I feel really strongly about I will write a letter to the person so that I can say what I need to say without getting caught up in the emotions of it. As for just controlling your temper, there's always the breathing and counting thing. I've also found having a "I wanna scream!" journal around helps. It gives me a place to vent in private, lets me say the nasty things I wanna say but don't really mean, and no one gets hurt. Just make sure you keep it somewhere private and I've learned that it doesn't make interesting reading. Also all the pillows in my house quake in fear of my wrath lol. When I just can't take it usually there's a pillow that takes a beating, and it's useful in muffling some therapeutic screaming too lol. Hope this helped a lil.

Answer 4

You will feel so damn horrible when your dad is a dead man, burried deep into the ground, if you keep hating him and getting so pissed because of THE WAY HE IS... come on now, you started living with him randomly...He isnt going to change everything he does for you.. these arent even things that really interfere with you at all. I mean if you see him taking a dump and **** go and close the door every single time he leaves it open and he will catch the drift!! But idk how intellegent you are but if you really want to be at peace, read the words of buddha, not ina religious way, you dont have to praise him- doesnt matter if your christian, I am and you can still read whatever you want. Buddhas words really have a calming effect to them and he (step by step) teaches people how to become a better person and a peaceful, happy person. He isnt forcing you to become buddhist at all, it doesnt even seem religious because his words apply to every day people. But if you dont feel like reading then I would seriously seriously suggest smoking some weed- I know your a straight A student- but so am I. To calm down and relax, along with thinking about things that really matter (nnot stupid **** like how big your dads eyes open and ****) You should smoke some weed. If you dont read, or smoke( or eat weed brownies) you will never be at peace my friend

Answer 5

When you reach that point, take a deep breath and close your eyes and think about calming down and focus on non-violent actions. Like finding an answer to the problem. Physical anger is your answer to problems right now. Start thinking about other things you can do to come up with the correct solution. Its hard, I get angry too, but with kids you must show them that you can calm down and make arational dicesion. Or you will lose them.

Answer 6

When I was raising my kids there were a few times when I felt so much stress and anger, and I didnt want to say or do the wrong thing. I would put them in strollers,pack and walk. As they grew older these were time we might talk about something bothering us. I still do it today, and now I have a great four legged walking companion.

Answer 7

Talking out your problems is definitley the safest and best way to release and ease stress.

Answer 8

develop an anger wheel....this will teach your children that there are more appropriate ways to handle stress...and anger...etc...you can do all of these as well..as you will be teaching them ...and showing them..how to control yourself

you can...

play with playdough...roll it in a ball and pound it....if you add lavender oil to it...you can smell it..and maybe relax a little more...

do yoga..some basic simple moves..there are tapes and books out their for children..you can model it for them..and they can participate..

you can fill a basin with water....or small sink...and add johnson and johnson lavendar baby bath to it..and put toys in it that are soothing or calming..you can soak your hands in it.make it warm...

you can count backwards from 10 ..saying every other number..i am feeling calmer...

you can take a walk

listen to classical music..or music from the nature..ocean , stream , babbling brook,

read a book about anger (when sophie gets angry, really really angry..) it is a book for preschoolers..it talks about running to a favorite spot..which is a tree to think...etc...

take a deep breath, count to 5, till you feel calm inside..

pop bubble wrap with your fingers

squeeze different texture balls

get a little punching bag (sold at toy stores)

stomp cardboard boxes (cereal boxes, etc).

these are some ideas that i use in our classroom...

make a quiet place..put up a tent...make that their or our alone time...

another idea that i use myself..is i have an anger upset journal..i write down what is bothering me..and then i brain storm on ways that i can fix them...and try them....

you might also want to think about talking to a friend or a counselor if you can't do it on your own....or go to a chat room and talk about it....there are people who will help!

most importantly..talk about it..it is alright to admit you are upset..and your kids will learn it is alright to talk about it..be a positive role model...it helps! tell them why you are upset in your oown easy to understand words....

Answer 9

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Answer 10

well try counting to ten before u react and give yourself a chance to calm yourself down and while your taking the break try to think of ways you can resolve the issue without anger. Just giving your self that time will give you back control of the situation. also i would suggest with your kids when they lose their temper to give them time to also calm down and think how they could have handled the situation different. try role playing it is alot of fun. let them be the mom and you be them and maybe in the fun of it all, you will both learn about each other.