Please need help asap?

Question

Well my man and i have been together for 2 years now and there is no plans for marriage since he has been married twice I myself have not been married. Knowing that he will never ask me is it fair to me that i stay with him and pretend nothing is wrong by him not asking me to marry him

Answer 1

what should matter is are you both happy together?

Answer 2

You need to ask yourself how much you need to get married. Some people completely need that marriage certificate, others don't. Just keep in mind that just because you're not getting married doesn't mean that you can't have a great relationship that grows with time. You are obviously bothered by the fact that you two will never actually officially walk down the aisle. Ask yourself, what would change if you got married? For me, personally, it wouldn't be a lot, but I can see how other people might answer that question differently. Ask yourself this, as well, is it enough that we love each other or do I really need the marriage to make it official? Your answers to these questions will help show you what it actually is that you want. If you decide that you have to get married, then talk to him about it. You may not be able to convince him to get married, but if he loves you, he'll hear you and and try to understand it from your point of view. And if you decide that you need marriage, and he adamantly refuses it, then ask yourself, are our priorities in life different enough that we need to break up? Could be yes, could be no...

Answer 3

I am sure that he is taking it very slow since he has been married two times. He wants to make sure he is not making another mistake because it hurts mentally and financially when you go through a divorce. Next I would be honest with him and ask him do he have any plans getting married in the near future because you both are getting older and if things do not work out five years down the road. You are back at the drawing board. I would be honest and ask for what you want. If you have a dream of being married and wanting to please your husband with that title then i would do so. The options out here get limited/slimmer when you get older and then you have men with three and four kids. Thats another topic but take this advice and hopefully it helps. Now just because this works for some does not mean it will guarantee this problem. This is just some advice from someone that went through a similar situation and I seen it first hand. I hope this helped.

Answer 4

How much do you care for this person? If this feels like it may never go any farther you have a choice to make. You can either hang in there because he's worth it, or find someone else who will marry you but chance having a bad marriage. I went through a divorce, they really stink. They can have a big impact on your view of marriage. He's been through two...Eventually if you hang in there he may pop the question...maybe he just needs to know he has a sure thing this time around. Good luck!

Answer 5

No you shouldn't stay whit him if you are looking for marriage. I would say talk to him about it and see if he really doesn't want to marry again and if that is true then you may be best with moving on if you find yourself that you cant live like that. Some people may say give it time. He may ask you one day also he may never ask. Its up to you do you love him and what to be with him no matter what or do you one day want a family.

In my relationship I want someone that I can one day have a family with but she tells me all the time that she is not made for that type of relationship. That she is made to be single. I stay with her in hope that we may grow and one day maybe we can have a family. That we will make it. But I know that if it goes to long I will leave her. I want a family one day and if I have to leave her to find it then I would. For me I would give it 2yr and she how much we have grown and if no talk of ever living together, having a family comes in to play she still doesn't want to have a family and only date (I don't mean have kids I mean a life with the 2 of us and one day marriage) I know by the 3rd year I would leave.

Answer 6

I can understand his hesitation to get married and who knows he probably never wants to get married. You should not pretend everything is fine when you have this on your mind.You need to have a serious talk with him. Will you be satisfied if you guys never get married? What you want is also important in the relationship and I am sorry to tell you this but marriage is one thing that can be a deal-breaker in a relationship. If you want to get married and he does not the relationship will not work unless one of you changes your mind. From what you have said it sounds like YOU will be the one who needs to change her mind about marriage. Are you willing to do that for him? If marriage is what you want then you need a man who wants to marry you. Never settle for less than what you want.

Answer 7

Well..now days many people are happy just living together. Marriage to some people is just a piece of paper, a thing. If you really want to be "married" then you need to tell him that and if he still says that he doesn't want to try again (I mean..it has tired 2 times and they have failed...I understand why he doesn't want to try it again) then you need to really make your decision based on that.

Is being married more important to you than him? If you keep pushing him to marry you and he doesn't want to, he is going to start pulling away from the relationship.......think about that.

Answer 8

This goes by the old saying from my mother...."why buy a cow when you get the milk for free". He probably doesn't want that kind of committment any longer. So you're going to have to make a choice, because I'm sure marriage isn't in his plans. I also think you and him should have an open heart to heart conversation, and you'll really know whether he intends on marrying you one day or not. You can make your decision from that. Best of luck to you.............

Answer 9

From your information, it sounds like you do want to get married. If you've been together for two years, I assume you have a good, strong and open relationship. I'd just confront him and tell him that he makes you complete. But, you need the relationship to go to the next level...and will he marry you?

Answer 10

Do you want to get married in the future? If so, you should really move on b/c he apparently has not plans of every remarrying. Besides, if he truly loves you, he would ask you to marry him; maybe not today, but in the future.

Answer 11

Well, it depends on what is important to you. If marrage is important, then you should move on. Ask yourself this question, if you wanted kids, and he was sterile, would you continue to be with him, knowing you would never have kids of your own? Then change this question to marriage. This will help, providing that they are of about equal priority in your life. Love is a tricky thing, and can blind us to decisions we need to make, but think about how you ultimately want to live your life. Good luck.