when i came home from work yesterday my b/f was watching a movie. there were dishes in the sink and i apartment was dirty. what does he expect me to do everything for him. so i kindof got mad because he just sits here doing nothing and im out working. what should i do or what would u do in this?
2006-07-16 05:22:56 · 30 answers · asked by horses19 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
talk to him bout the situation
2006-07-16 05:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that he really doesn't know what to do. Here's what I did. I made a list of chores. Decided which ones I could do, which ones he could do and which ones we needed to do together. I do all the deep cleaning (stripping rooms, walls, scrubbing rugs because I'm a clean nut) He does trash (on a regular basis not when the can is overflowing), Laundry (after some guidance), vacuuming and light dusting. We do the yard work. He does cook very well and so is relagated to that duty but I will offer suggestions for meals & help if he wants it.
I am like you. I work 40 hours a week and have a part time job. He is a musician and so his day starts at noon and often he only works 4 days a week.
I used to get aggrevated but then realized that no one had taught him any of this stuff. His mom made the beds, did the laundry, cleaned, everything. He had a maid but not anymore. We are both happier with the situation.
2006-07-16 12:36:39 · answer #2 · answered by magr8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down nicely and tell him u would apreciate him helping out be like u know when im at work and i come home i would love it if at least there are no dishes in the sink its not right that u do everyting trust me i had the same conversation with my bf and he now does it when im home first i make dinner and clean and when he is he waits for me with dinner :) just tell him how u feel good luck
2006-07-16 12:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i should ask him to sit with me and talk about the situation coz its not fair,,you both live in one house and both of you should be responsible enough fot everything in the house, It doesnt mean its becoz he is a guy then he should be doing nothing and would just sit there,,,he should know whats his responsibility as a person or as a partner somehow in your place,,he should think of it that you are working hard and when you got home there is another job waiting and yet the guy there who is very capable of doing it is just sitting and watching TV. Wow ! its not fair,,you should not spoil him or else he would make you like his maid. remember that.
2006-07-16 12:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Negotiate a work schedule for around the apartment. If you're working and he's not, he does "these" things. When he's working and you're not, you'll do "those" things. But allow eachother some time here or there to be lazy. Everyone deserves that sometimes.
2006-07-16 12:29:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One : you two need to have an understanding of who is to do what in order for both of you to live in harmony.
Two: if you are the only wage earner, he should pitch in and help with daily chores.
Three: Maybe its like the old story of the guy is watching his wife mow the lawn when a neighbor says "how disgusting" and "you should be hung" His reply, was "I am--that's why she is mowing the grass"
Love conquers all.
2006-07-16 12:28:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is based on sharing,if he has nothing to give even something simple like washing dishes and stuff then he shouldn't be expecting much back...and if he's attitude doesn't change he has to move out.
2006-07-16 12:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by AB 4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
put his a** out! especially if he doesn't have a job.
why do women feel compelled to take care of a grown man?! take care of children yes, but a grown man needs to be sufficient at more than being able to create a mess. he must be contributing to the household or in the household .
there are so many worthless men today because they're allowed to get away with less than desirable behavior, they're not made to be responsible for their actions, they get away with things because "boys will be boys" and they believe a woman is a built in maid and more, someone to be at his beck and call.
you can moan and groan as you continue to pick up behind him, or you can pick up his stuff and throw it out with him. soon or later you 're going to have to realize which is worth having....your peace of mind, or his boorish behavior just to have a man around.
2006-07-16 12:41:02 · answer #8 · answered by loving 40+ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how much he is annoying you by not helping out at all and that he ought to help you out and go get some work
if he doesn't listen then you really need to sit down and think if you still want to be with him
2006-07-16 12:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by haze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find something that he needs you to do to him fast and don't do it .. like cooking or washing his cloths ... and when he gets mad . tell him ,, u see how much mad you are ?? thats the same feeling i got when u r lazy & didn't help in anything
and put a new rule:
if he want u to help in anything then he got to help u too
2006-07-16 12:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Nicholet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to ur b/f, maybe there's a reason he's acting so vulnerable, try asking him if he thinks ur supposed to clean up after him, and if he gives u a hard time, maybe u shouldn't b w/ him!!!
2006-07-16 12:28:29 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋