Is the argument worth it??? What can I Do??? Serious answers please?

Question

My sister and I both have 2 kids. I am not a fanatic, but I do limit the amount of junk food my kids eat. While that is all hers eat. When ever they stay over I can't get them to eat a real meal. They bring there own food all junk food candy bars, soda, chips.When they do this it makes my kids want to act the same way. So I asked my sister to please not send any food with them. She got all bent out of shape and told me to kiss her A$$. And will not let her kids come to my house now. It is bothering my kids and hers because they are all very close, and are really missing each other. What can I do. By the way both of her kids are over wieght, and she is extremely over wieght.

Answer 1

Thats too bad, but Im on ur side with this. She should have respected what u ask of her and the part about her say to kiss her a$$ was wrong. The reason she did this is because she's trying to control, she knows ur this way with ur kids( about not eating too much junk food) and she knows that ur kids & her are close so to make u feel bad she used that so may be ur kids will be mad at u for causing they're cousins not to come around anymore. Don't let it get to ya too long because it's all about control, you know what the rules are in u home because u set them and u have to stick by them, u didn't ask her anything big just not to bring junk food over because u don't allow ur kids to eat it as much.

And u have every right to be this way about your kids and when u really look at it she should realize that ur looking out for her kids too, her kids are overweight( her fault) and when the growup they may hate her for this because she allowed them to become overweight.

She may not be a happy person which is why she and her kids eat so much junk food, maybe she's depressed over something( some people turn to food as a comfort) So she's overweight and she's allow the kids to eat junkfood and they're over weight( see controlling) She's the mother if those kids and if they ask for junk food she can say NO to them and mean it, but because she's overweight they have to be too.( CONTROL)

So talk to ur kids and let them know that u know they miss they're cousins but because of a disagreement with they're aunt( that u hope will not continue) they're cousins may have to stay home until the problem is fixed

Good Luck Sweetie =-)

Meanwhile ur sister really owns u an apology

Answer 2

yes the argument is worth it, but your approach isn't. you do have a real concern. instead of simply asking her not to bring the junk food, you may approach your dilemma by expressing to her your concern about the health of her and her family. have you prepared a meal and just invited them to dinner just for a fun time? ask her to help you prepare the meal at your home. since the kids are very close to each other, its sad that both mothers are pulling them apart. let your sister know how you feel about her. .when was the last time you told her you love her and are happy she's your sister? put your guard down and she may be more receptive. don't bombard her with all of the doom and gloom about being overweight and unhealthy eating habits, she has heard those. you must realize change is always difficult and you have to be willing to wait out the change. remember a small step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction. become her biggest cheerleader. when moms get started, the kids will follow.

Answer 3

What i think you should do i tell your sister that you are doing this for there health and maybe she should start doing the same thing because an overweight child needs limits on what they can eat and if the stay eating the way they are they will grow up with heart problems and will not be able to participate in sports like the other kids.

she also can not let an argument you and her had affect the relationship of the kids because your different point of views has nothing to do with the kids

Answer 4

You are right to have asked her not to bring junk food into your house when her kids stay with you. YOUR house, YOUR rules. I think your sister is being rediculous. Its too bad that she is acting this way and preventing the kids from seeing each other. Sounds like she needs to grow up a little. Yes, it is a stupid thing to argue over, but she is the one that needs to realize that you only want what's best for the kids...ALL the kids.

Answer 5

Sometimes , things like this will take some time to work itself out. Arguing is never worth it. I would try to talk to your sister in a very non-judgemental tone, and try to get her to see what your values are as a parent. It has taken me a few years just to get my Mom to see that my Son doesn't need sugar! She finally gets "it". What will work for the time being is talking to your kids. Let them know about self control. This is an excellent lesson for them. The others are "heavy" and eat junk food. Your kids are not "heavy" and don't eat a lot of JUNK. Good for them! Good luck to you. Patience is best.

Answer 6

Very serious question on a serious subject. That your kids eat healthy food (the way you're raising them) is important but it shouldn't be the subject of any argument. It's your decision, not your sister's, just as it is your sister's decision to feed her own kids any way she pleases.

Having said that, I would think that the best way to handle this candy-sticky situation is to respect your sister's decision not to let her children come to your house. Your house, your rules. Take this opportunity to explain to your children that their cousins aren't coming because of their mother's decision, not theirs, and that their aunt disagrees with your food-for-kids policy. Don't use words such as "upset, angry, mad, miffed" because that subjectivizes the whole deal and opens the door to needless and fruitless arguments. An example: If you tell them "your aunt is unhappy/mad at me/upset with me because I don't let her bring junk food in here," your kids will likely side with your aunt and ask you to drop the rule so that she and her kids can come over. By telling them (your kids) that your sister just disagrees with you teaches them that it is okay to disagree with someone you love.

The bottom line is this: your sister disagrees with your request not to bring junk food to your home. She has the right to disagree but not to break your rule. Stick to your guns, or else you'll be teaching your children that it is okay to break a rule or drop a personal value or principle in order to make someone else feel happy.

Answer 7

It is your house and you make the rules in your house. Most likely your sister took your limiting her kids as a personal attack. She lacks the self control to teach her children how to eat a proper diet. Allow your children to go to her house and eat junk food there, but don't allow it in your house if you don't believe in it.

Answer 8

Your sister is offended right now. Talk to her about how you feel
about your children wanting to eat these types of foods while her
children are at your home....possibly come up with way to not
offend her while expressing your opinion...which it sounds like you did in fact offend her...with some words said in a possibly
unkind way to her about all the food...and the weight issues of her
and the children. So tell her to please think of the children and how much they enjoy spending time together and be adults and
find a resolution that respects and suits both of you...bottom line
yes it is your home...and you can put your foot down with your
own children, but don't try to tell her how to raise hers...even
though it doesn't sound like a very responsible thing to let her
overweight children eat so much candy...sit down with her to
find a solution...that you both can agree upon thinking first of the
children....and how much they enjoy spending time together and
how they depend upon you to find reasonable solutions so they
can just enjoy this time in their lives with their cousins and family

Answer 9

let the kids decide if they want health or family not you, sounds as if you and sister are acting like kids so this will be interesting keep us updated! if you really want peace, just let her kids eat junk food and let your kids eat a little while they are visiting each other!

Answer 10

no its not worth it.
what u can do thought is when there come over make your junk food for dinner instead like pizza but cos your making it it would be health that way u win both way ur kids eat health and and her kid junk food or so there think and yeah there is like whole bunch of thing that u can make that lik junk food but health so yeah