ohh something to offend everyone ♥?

Question

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

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~What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

--Juan on Juan

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~What is a Yankee?

--The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

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~What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

--The position of the dirt bag

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~Why is divorce so expensive?

--Because it's worth it.

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~What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

--Doughnuts

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~Why is air a lot like sex?

--Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

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~What do you call a smart blonde?

--A golden retriever.

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~What do attorneys use for birth control?

--Their personalities.

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~What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

--10 years and 45 lbs

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~What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

--45 minutes

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~What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

--Through his chest with a sharp knife.

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~Why do men want to marry virgins?

--They can't stand criticism.

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~Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

--Because those men already have boyfriends.
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~What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

--After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

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~What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

--The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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~Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

--Because they have cotton balls.

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~What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

--A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

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~What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

--"Are you sure it's mine?"

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~Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

--Mace will do that to you.

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~Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

--Everyone has the same DNA.

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~Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

--Breasts don't have eyes.

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~Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

--Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

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~Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

--A different bar.

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~Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

--They named him "Sum Ting Wong".

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~What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

--A speech impediment.

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~What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?

--They're hiring.

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~What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

--A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage and... "a recipe".

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~How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

--Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

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~What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

--A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A southern fairytale begins

--"Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****....

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~Why is there no Disneyland in China?

--No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Answer 1

made me laugh

Answer 2

Sweety you gotta try harder, or is that me who does LOL, to offend me! LOL Good un's Hun!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

Answer 3

u really got a laugh on my face

Answer 4

tell me you didn't copy and paste that from a joke website. funny, though

Answer 5

wow you are not kidding about offending everyone! lol

Answer 6

hahaha

Answer 7

those were long but good.

Answer 8

lol

Answer 9

more more more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!