how can i stop this?

Question

my 20month old has a thing for hitting me how can i stop this i tried time outs and its not working.

Answer 1

My 16 month old just started that, but she's learned quickly that it is not acceptable behavior. If 2-minute time-outs don't work, try other tactics. Nanny 911 has the "naughty chair". I don't use it because I feel it labels the child as "naughty"/bad but it works for her. Also taking toys away usually will work. Tell him/her "I am taking ____ away because you hit mommy. You can't hit mommy." Or "When you learn not to hit mommy you can get ____ back."

You really have to keep it as simple as possible when talking to kids this age.. so it's pretty hard. Some might suggest hitting them back. I don't think that works, I think that just makes them want to hit you again. And then they hit other kids.

Good luck, and I hope some of these things work.

Answer 2

I have studdied a book once upon a time and it was called:Parents. It was edition 1, the parent DO & DON'T DO book. It was the oddest book I ever read. To tell you the truth, I never finished it. But it said if your child provides violence, well, heres the list. This list was made for if THEY were doing something wrong.

Child Ages & What To Do

0-Nothing. Go with the flow.
1-1-year-olds are into wanting thier way. Simply tell them about spankings.
2-Long time-outs.
3-Take away toys.
4-If they want something don't get them it yet, or until they have become good again.
5-They love cake and sugar. Don't give them a lot of that.

THE LIST GOES TO 18, ECT. BUT I HAVE TO GO. I WISH YA LUCK!

Answer 3

You have to play the Hitting Game. At that age, he/she doesn't understand that what they are doing is inappropriate. So when they hit you, then just look at them with a straight face and say, 'You want to play the hitting game?' then hit them back. Then tell them that this is not acceptable behavior and that what they are doing makes you very sad. Be sure to give them a really sad face. Do not hug them! It only reinforces the bad behavior. Wait until they begin to understand; you will know when, then give them a hug an tell them that you love them very much, but that hitting makes you sad and want to cry. If they do it to other children, then make them sit in a chair or on the floor and watch the other children play and have fun. When they want to get up and join in, tell them that because they hit someone, they are not allowed to play, but have to watch. Make them sit there for about two minutes; that's all that a twenty month old can handle. Then tell them that you love them, give them a hug and tell them to go back and join the children. If they hit a grownup, then take them out of the room and put them in their room and shut the door, for about two minutes. If they cry, do not go to the door and let them out until they stop crying; you will be reinforcing bad behavior by letting them out when they are crying. If they are out in public and do this, then take them to the bathroom or somewhere fairly private and tell them in a no nonsense voice that their behavior is unacceptable.

Answer 4

Hitting back sounds like the obvious answer but it just makes things worse. Time out in a boring area may help. Removing favorite objects may help or it may make things worse. That age is hard and they do eventually grow out of it. How long have you tried the time out for? Have you been consistent in both length ( 1 minute per year) and how long you have been trying it....It can take quite a while for it to be effective. My youngest was a hitter as well and she finally stopped after numerous time-outs and losing her TV privledges....Good luck and just keep trying....

Answer 5

Mine does it playing around. Time out is good. Or make it into a game. I watch too much super nanny. Like make a chart. And have a reward. Make pieces for the chart the more he/she behaves you will stick it on the chart for the prize if he/she hits you then he/she takes a piece removed. It will make the child more involved. And maybe address why. He/she does what she/he does. Make the child know while you play why it isn't nice to hit you. Soon he/she will forget with the game but learn the lesson.

Answer 6

Whatever you do don't hit him. That will just teach him that it is ok, everything that you do is an example to your child about what is ok and acceptable. He will mock everything that you do sometime in your month.
I would suggest standing him in the corner. Everytime he hits you he stands there for a longer amount of time. And for everyday that he doesn't hit you reward him with something (maybe a trip to the park, or a special snack).
make sure you explain this plan to your child before you start is. (and yes, he will understand. 20 month olds understand alot more that you expect)

Answer 7

I had this problem with my niece... I used time outs for her, though, until she finally realized that hitting is wrong and not nice. If time outs aren't working for you, try a different way of getting him to stop. Of course, at 20 months, it's a bit difficult to try and explain why it's wrong - at least with some 20 month olds.

I would just keep trying the time outs. Eventually, he will get that hitting isn't nice.

Answer 8

He's doing it for attention and any attention you give him when he acts out, is reenforcing the fact that this method works for him. You need to pick him up and put him in a playpen or play yard and walk away. When he calms down, then talk to him... "big boys use their words. if you want something, you need to ask me nicely" and "we do not hit in our house". You might also want to check and see what kind of cartoons/shows your son is watching. I notice in the daycare that kids whose parents let them watch shows like Power Rangers, tend to have more aggressive behavior. The calmer the parent, the calmer the child. Your child feeds off of your reactions. You stay calm and teach him to be calm. Consistent rules & discipline techniques are key! (((((hugs))))) When you feel that you are losing your patience/calm, WALK AWAY. Go sit on your front porch for a moment or go to the bathroom and count to ten. Your son will learn that his hitting/tantrum ways are not getting him anywhere and he will stop. Trust me! :)

Answer 9

Thats a tricky time, my daughter is always throwing things, I dont know how to get her to stop immediately, but the best thing I've found for getting kids to stop doing anything is to give them strong loving attention in your everyday life, and when they do things, like hitting you, dont give them any attention at all, do not react to it, chances are that your child just wants that attention, not to take out aggression or anger, sorry, but this is not a quick fix.

Answer 10

Do not hit your kid. No reason for it, plus it will backfire. When she/he goes to hit you, stop him before she/he does and say in a stern voice "no hitting, it hurts". Show her/him how to "play nice", children at that age lead by example. If you start hitting her/him back she/he will keep doing it because you are. Show her/him how to pat you on the arm, get your child to become interested in doing something with his/her hands other than hitting.