deserves differnt types of privliages?
2006-07-16 02:35:42 · 12 answers · asked by stargazer 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You can't be equally fair to your children because the are all different.
don't even try and go that route cause you will get yourself into a lot of trouble and everyone will resent you.
each of my kids gets my attention when they need it or if i can give it too them but I won't let them guilt me about how it's not fair i buy something for one and not for the other - or one has more responsibility than the other if you treated them all the same then the 8 year old would be in your lap the same as the 1 year old - that's ridiculous right - well that's what you say to them and don't even try and be fair because there is no such thing as fair .
2006-07-16 02:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by prettymama 5 · 6⤊ 4⤋
Definitely, and that's part of what fairness is. It is fair for the child who has earned more responsibilities and privileges to be able to have those things, and when the other children have reached the same milestone, to receive them as well.
What wouldn't be fair is for all the children to be placed on a level tier and blanketed with the same rules regardless of character and responsibility. It doesn't inspire the responsible child to continue the behavior or encourage the others to develop them.
What does need to be the same across the board is the love and respect you show your children, and that's completely different from house rules. It's hard to keep those separate at times, but it's the best way to raise them to be amazing adults.
2006-07-16 09:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by lotsayorks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one ever said being a parent was easy. Each child is an individual and should be treated as such. Each one should be rewarded or punished on his or her level of maturity. Say a 3 year old breaks a glass, and a 14 year old stay out after curfew. You would not treat the 3 year old in the same manner as the punishment of the 14 year old. Privileges a rewarded on merit.
But you would still love all your children equally. If you had to choose one child to give up, could you make that choice honestly?????
2006-07-16 09:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by Auntiem115 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fair is not the same as equal.
Give each of your children what each of them need even if that means giving some more time, energy, and resources than others, who are more independent. But be sure to reserve resources for those who can excel.
Read to them for an hour every evening. Move from children's literature to mature literature as soon as possible to expand their vocabularies, which they will need to flourish in this increasingly complex world.
Give them real responsibilities around home that will require the development of individual, group, and leadership skills.
Give all your children the clear messages that they are expected to excel as best they can academically, to value education, care about others and their environment, and that they will eventually leave home and support themselves.
Don't try to play guilt games with them with fundamentalist religious nonsense as it will just totally confuse them. Don't try to impose any hateful or fearful authority because that is nothing but fraud. Children pick up on that quickly. The only lesson you will teach them is that the more important something is the more important it is to lie about it. Their own inate sense of what is right and in balance is already there and not something you need to worry about.
2006-07-16 10:26:23 · answer #4 · answered by Alan Turing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fair? No. Just? Yes. The just thing to do in such a situation is to give the child in question more privileges, and, by the same turn, responsibilities. The fair thing would be to put everybody to bed at 8:30, and not just the 4-year-old. Know what I mean?
2006-07-16 09:40:15 · answer #5 · answered by rockmanxsp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all children are created equal, but your love for them should be! I would say that being "fair" is giving your child what he or she deserves based on their actions. The law of physics states that "for every action there is a reaction." The same is true for life. So "react" appropriately for every "action" that your child does. If one is more responsible then the other, then you certainly wouldn't "react" by giving the irresponsible child more responsibility, that would be the wrong reaction. Are you being "unfair?" Absolutely not!
2006-07-16 09:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by rgamarra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible, and it is necessary. If you give one child special privileges, the others will feel like they are not important and will resent you and the other sibling later in life. As a parent, it is your responsibility to show the same love and appreciation to all of your children.
2006-07-16 12:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to give your more responsible child rewards when the other child is not around. Make discipline and rewards a one-on-one thing, and not something you do in front of both children.
Try making up a chore list and giving them smily-face stickers when they do one, which they can use to earn things. Try to make the things individual (not like watching television, where you would have to quarantine the other child).
Express to each of them that you love them and that their behavior issues are just between you and them.
2006-07-16 09:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by kayleigh w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. The children need to see if they behave in an appropriate manner they will get the love and attention the others are having
2006-07-16 10:12:40 · answer #9 · answered by nikkinoonies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possible, yes. I raised two daughters that were two years apart in age. They were both very intelligent yet very different in behavior.
Love them both equally and understand that they are different and treat them in a way that even though thye are different you love them both equally.
2006-07-16 11:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋