Why do men not answer direct questions?

Question

My spouse was late getting home and he said he had worked late. I found out he had dinner with someone at a local restuarant via someone who saw him there with another woman. I simply asked him who he had dinner with and he said I was accusing him. If it was nothing, why didn't he say that, now I feel like he is cheating on me. We have been married for 4 months

There is also a receipt that I found in pocket. Someone had a daquiri and the other a beer and this was verified

Answer 1

Did you see that baseball game last night. It was a doozy...went 14 innings and the Jays finally won.


To answer your question, your spouse may not have answered in a direct fashion, but don't generalize. Not all men are like this, nor are all women. When asked a question by my wife of 18 years, I simply answer truthfully and honestly.

Answer 2

In the early days of a new relationship (and it doesn't matter how long you've been an item, marriage is a very new relationship), there's always a period of negotiating rules and boundaries. How the two of you deal with money, with housework, with decision-making.

And how you deal with relationships with other people, with time together and apart, and with asking questions.

Obviously, I don't know if there is any infidelity, or even if this could be a shadow of the beginning of it. But, whether it is or it isn't, this seems to me the two of you are doing a very bad job of negotiating rules and boundaries.

Did you mean what you said when you made your vows? Other than one bit of slightly fishy behavior, do you have any real reason to believe that he might not have?

If no to the first, either decide right now to mean it, or seek an annullment as quickly as you can.

If yes to the first - whether yes or no to the second - practice them! Tell him how you feel, about his response to your question, about his unwillingness to respond to your anxiety about his behavior. Engage in conversation! Talk to the man you love and intend to love until you die.

If he will be unfaithful to his vows, he will be and you will discover it some day. If he will or if he won't, this instance carries with it a very real opportunity for increased - or danger of decreased - intimacy.

Answer 3

There are four basic personality types: Aggressive, passive aggressive, neutral and pacifistic.

To talk to a man on his level, you must discover what personality type he is and shift yourself to his type. By the review of your question and his reply, he is seeing this as an assault upon his person and his reply is a defense mechanism to maintain a distance from you.

You should review his personality type, is he a go getter, and achiever, at any cost? If so, he maybe an Aggressive type. Does he move with stealth, and to a seemingly organized plan? If so he maybe Passive aggressive. Neutral type always seem to be non-commited and often reply with the answer, I don’t care.
Pacifistic, are the ones who will avoid conflict at any cost. They are the ones that in most cases agree with everything you say.

Which type is he? Figure it out and then mold yourself in a conversation with him to that type of personality. For example, if he is passive aggressive type, you could begin a conversation by saying that a good relationship relies on truth, and I have a concern. Will you help me answer it? Then propose that some people had seen him with another person, and although you know it is completely innocent, that his reply bothers you and you just would hope that you two will share truth in your relationship always. Then drop it. He will ponder on this for a few days and reply to you. If not, bring up the concept of truth again.

In order to talk to a guy, you must think like guy. Being married such a short time, I doubt that there is anything going on beyond the marriage, but who knows. I suspect he just met an old friend and discussed his new marriage and is afraid to talk with you about it. If he is the aggressive type, please use caution in your approach. This type tends to go off like a bomb with a short fuse.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Anyone who is lying will get defensive and give that answer male or female. You need to be absolutely sure that whoever saw him wasn't mistaken 'for sure' and if there is no chance of mistaken identity at all then I'm sorry but your husband lied. Trust is the most basic need for any relationship to work and thrive. You cannot trust him now or ever and you should end the marriage now instead of 5 or 10 years and a couple of kids down the road.

Answer 5

hes cheating and got caught. the same exact thing happened to me. my neighbor saw my bf with another women in a car at a gas station. i asked him what he did today and he told me oh i just washed my car and went to the credit union. then when i detailed it down for him and let him know he got caught he couldnt say anything. my point is its over and every move he makes now you are going to be wondering is he cheating. well most likely he is cuz whats up with the dinner? once trust is broken its hard to believe a word that comes out of his mouth. i know i went thru it. you can always love again but its rare to ever fully trust someone when they dont have the balls to be honest and true.

Answer 6

Why do women constantly bring up stuff from the past to beat us over the head with? Around women, especially in long term relationships , men have to be very careful with what they say, because it will trigger some memory in a woman. The woman will then use that memory to beat a guy senseless. We have to be very careful when answering questions or bringing up certain topics.

Answer 7

I don't think he's cheating on you. I think he did have dinner, it didn't mean anything, he felt guilty for not telling you, he didn't tell you he was having dinner with someone because of your suspicions and jealousy.

Give the guy a break and stop receiving gossips.

Answer 8

I guess they don't really understand doing this... You know, they think that they are right and you wrong so they think that by doing this they have the right not to answer the question... I really can't understand how men are thinking sometimes.

About youw husbant, i think what you need is to sit down and talk about it. It's the only way to figure it out....

Answer 9

thats good that you have not been married for years and have kids yet, becuase now, you know that he can't be trusted. Be carefull not to get pregnant. Do not leave him just yet, wait till you have more proof and till you get someone else.

A woman should never leave a man untill she has another man.

Answer 10

It could be one of two things - first, he could be cheating. Or second, it could just be with a female friend, and he didn't tell you about her because he didn't want you to think he was cheating on you.

More than likely, it's the first one. Because if he didn't have anything to hide, he should come out and be honest. He's definitely hiding something.