Loss of a loved one how do you feel? Someone very close to you?

Question

I lost six people in less than two years...

seriously...think about it

Answer 1

My sincere condolences. Loss of a dear one is one of the highest stresses psychologically. Loss of your spouse is the highest stress recognised by psychologists.

It is a very dificult experience where life looks empty and there appears to be no incentive to live. A lot of thoughts on futility of life and our helplessness prevails in our mind. You realise how much we could have done for those departed souls had we known that they were leaving. So we decide to be nice and good to those who are alive. We become sensitised to the importance of people whom we come across in our lives from now on. A deep sense of numbness and maybe some inexplicable headache also may be felt. We may become withdrawn into ourselves and lose our capacity to enjoy life and remain in a state of mourning for many months. Depending on your emotional and spiritual maturity our hearts are gradually healed with time. We mature with the experience and probably understand what life and death actually mean. Our compassion increases.

Only those who have undergone a similar experience may be able to heal your heart. You need lots of love and affection at this stage and you understand what true love is. It need not be sex.

Those whom you loved and those who loved you will always remain in your memories forever. They are gone physically but emotionally they are always inside you. They would like to see you happy and successful, so go about your life knowing that they are always with you in your heart. We miss them badly on some days and it is better to let out the bottled up emotions. Psychologists say that crying is one of the easiest ways to relieve the stress. So don't feel bad if those tears come out.

Please read some good spiritual book. The ultimate certainty in life is death. All else is uncertain. We have to be mentally prepared to face death someday.

My sincere condolences and thanks to all those who have answered and poured out their hearts.

Answer 2

First, I am so very sorry for your losses. I've lost many I cared about, I wonder if I can remember all of them? My mom's parents, three uncles, an aunt, four or five family friends, my dad, three cousins, a great-aunt, a great-uncle, six friends (suicides and car accidents all of them)...and I think that's it. Though there might be more. All of this was within the first twenty-one years of my life.
There aren't too many people who have lost like you have, or even like I have.
The hardest death I experienced was that of my friend Tyler, who was killed in a car accident when we were eighteen. When I was told what had happened, I felt as though the wind had been knocked out of me...and I felt it for days. After that, I just missed him horribly, and I kept thinking that I saw him everywhere. He was one of my best friends, and losing him was a real shock.
Now, for all that I have lost, my grief is quiet, though on some days it hurts more than others.
I missed my dad, and Tyler, horribly the day I got married. I wish both of them could have been there. Mostly losing those we love feels like it just leaves a gaping hole in our heart and soul. I think maybe it actually does leave a hole.
When my dad died, I likened it to breaking a bone. You have to have it set (acknowledge the death, and grieve) so that it will heal right. After that, it heals slowly and painfully. Even after it does "heal", there are some days when it really hurts.
Death is the same way, in every case. Once it "heals" it still hurts some days. And you always wonder how they would react to certain things that occur in your life, what they would say, what you could say to them. It never really goes away.
Whoever said that time heals all pain was full of it.

Answer 3

I am really sorry to hear that. There is no easy way to deal with it. The ones that you grow up with and have become a part of you, will simply never be replaced. But there are some new relationships which overlap and carry you further... like love, family kids and so on.

Most of the time, this is also a prime time to change your circle and go out make new friends and redefine yourself.

Still, am very sorry.

Answer 4

Loosing someone close is just the hardest thing, anyone in life has to face, we all know that this is the route we all have to travel one day, but when our loved ones pass on it's still hard. I lost my father in 1985, and i have also lost my mother last year, it is still hard for me some days to come to terms with, because you know you will never see them again in life, the way i get through the hard times is to remember them how they were, when i cant make a decision, i think of what they would say, so i keep their spirit alive in my heart, because i learnt so much from my parents about good morals values, helping others how to live with honor, all this cant just fade away, so you need to think about these people and how they touched your life and what you learnt from them in life, and eventually you will realize that their death is not in vain, allow yourself to grieve properly, let it out when needs be, and hopefully in time you can have your memories, but be able to move on in life, these people you have lost, would not want to see you lay down and die with the hurt you feel for them. Good luck.

Answer 5

I'm sorry for your loss. I have lost 3 people.

Answer 6

i feel so bad for you! ive only had one person close to me die and i thought i was going to die. if youre depressed you need to go talk to someone like ur family or friends and maybe even a doctor! Just dont keep everything all bottled inside you... you will feel a lot better....~...... life goes on and it goes up and down... you might be down now but eventually you will come back up!!!

Answer 7

You will feel their void for quite sometime!! But men may come and men may go and I have to go on till my death!!!
Our brain has the uncanny capacity to defrag these sad incidents & feelings to push it back in to a memory chest and slowly but surely you will forge ahead!!

Answer 8

sorry about your losses. for a while, we grieve. after that comes the realization that they are in a better place. that is a happy thought.

Answer 9

i thought i was going to lose my wife last year when she had a heart attack. it knocked me for a loop and changed my world forever. i can't even imagine what you've gone through. i'm so sorry for all your loss.

Answer 10

sorry about ur losses