I am seeing someone. This is our second time trying to date. The first time around, I was lied to, and cheated on. We never officially broke up, but we stopped talking. Eventually we started talking again, despite my rule of never talking to my ex's. We started dating again, but I feel that the person I am dating always puts there friends first. I don't want to be selfish, or jealous, however, I feel that I am always put on the back burner when it comes to the friends, and this was the case last time also.
Today I waited all day to hear from the person I am dating, but she never contacted me. I ended up texting her and it turns out she was swith friends, but I was pissed because she could have taken the time to call, text, im or something to say hello and see how my day was. She came home late (usually when she does something with her friends she is gone between 5 - 9 hours). What are your thoughts abuot this? Am I being too selfish or jealous?
2006-07-15 21:09:43 · 9 answers · asked by tiravellian 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it seems to me like there are friends and then there are romantic relationships. one should not exclude the other. if you want to meet her and she's with her friends is one thing. if you have made plans to meet and she stands you up it's another. if she can't find enough time to meet you when you have made plans, then you are right in feeling neglected. let her know it bothers you and that you won't stand for it much longer.
keep in mind that sometimes her friends, if they are good friends, may need her, and she may have to go to them unexpectedly. when that happens, she sould at least send word to you. it's only common curtesy that she do so.
2006-07-15 21:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by gwenwifar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you two have plans? If not, don't wait around for her, go on with your day or give her a call if you want to talk. I don't think you're being selfish, you feel what you feel and I think you should be honest about it. Have you talked to her about it? If so and she still hasn't made an attempt to work on it, it sounds like she's not for you. Go back and read what you wrote....she put her friends first the last time you dated, she lied and cheated, why are you giving her a second chance? It sounds like this chick is totally inconsiderate and really only cares about herself. Since she cheated on you last time, are you sure she's really with her friends? I know this is harsh, but I'm hoping it will make you wake up and move on to someone who will treat you better. I wish you the best!
2006-07-15 21:26:22 · answer #2 · answered by Terror 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie...been there, done that (3 times now) and best to let things go. I've quit trying, and he's emailed me in the past week, and after my initial email answer saying "I GIVE UP!!"...I've not answered any others.
There IS someone a heck of a lot better out there, who will NOT cheat, who will call and keep in touch and truly want to be with you! Don't worry....patience is a virtue, and God does answer small (and large) prayers!
PS...you're not being jealous OR selfish...the selfishness is completely on HER part!!! SHE thinks she can have her cake and eat it too...let her know, right now, that you're better than being used by someone so greedy!
2006-07-15 21:16:28 · answer #3 · answered by CoastalCutie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen to me today.if you really are in love w/ her than let it go.I was pissed too @ my girl , but if you nag at her especially about who she sees and what she does too much you will be left out for good in the end.also if she is "playing games" then she wants a reaction from you ex: anger,hurt , sadness.so if that's the case then act like it didn't bother you at all & that will eventually put an end to her constantly going out if she knows she can't get a reaction from you.Either way stay cool , calm & colected- trust me on this one!
2006-07-15 21:20:00 · answer #4 · answered by andy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I make it a point to distance myself from people whole lie and/or cheat on me. You are having a jealous reaction because of what happened in the past. I would keep her as a casual friend and see other girls. Do something with your friends regularly so you aren't sitting around stewing because she is with hers.
2006-07-15 21:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by Mike H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are kind of right about her hanging out with her friends. Maybe she just doesn't have time for a boyfriend or isn't even willing to. You should talk to her about this, maybe she'll be willing to at least call you if she's with her friends. Thats if you actually talk to her about it.
2006-07-15 21:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sazziable 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u r being a self respect guy
ur not wrong but lets make somthign clear ur just dating or u r in love??
if in love then no thats not love she's shwoing so u dun have to stay with her she can change if she wants to stay if she's not changin then with all respect u will be so weask if u r staying but after all who am i to judge no one know better than u r
hope it will be ok!
2006-07-15 21:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut your losses and move on. She obviously has no respect for you and you can do better.
2006-07-15 21:13:47 · answer #8 · answered by Kanga_tush2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jelous, plus you already ended it before so it obviously didnt work before why should it now
2006-07-15 21:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋