2006-07-15 19:27:57 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
If you wake up dead tomorrow, don't tell me.
2006-07-15 19:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Wise ol' owl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Post Turtle
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher, whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.
Eventually, the topic got around to former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his elevation to the White House.
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'."
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."
The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know, he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the dumb s_h_i_t get down!"
2006-07-16 03:45:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
something clever and witty and I'll grant you 10 points?
2006-07-16 02:31:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you ended a statement with a question mark....
"Something Clever and Witty"
wheres my 10 points?
2006-07-16 02:30:50 · answer #4 · answered by Angelus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since many believe evolution to be the answer to our existence, with "survival of the fittest" being its basic premise, why shouldnt the biggest, strongest, most economically powerfull and resourcefull nation on earth (the USA) stomp all the other peon nations into the dirt and take whatever the hell we feel like whenever we want to.
(evolution, the excuse for world domination)
P.S. I dont believe in evolution, I think evolution is foolish, I believe in God.
2006-07-16 02:41:44 · answer #5 · answered by Matthew O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.
Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
If you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.
When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.
Your temper is very quick, my friend. But until you learn to master your rage your rage will become your master
To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.
He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.
If you doubts about your power, than you give power to your doubts.
2006-07-16 02:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by clovisfleischhund 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Working at school, One of my students was done with her work. So I walked over to her and said "Write your numbers one to ten on the back." And when i walked away and turned, my student was already finished. Pondering on how she could have finished so fast I asked to look at her paper, and sure enough ahe wrote her numbers 1, 2, 10!!
If its not funny to you, it sure was funny to me at the time.
2006-07-16 02:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by jonzmom1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
or
Little Boy Blue
'cuz he needed the money
2006-07-16 02:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clever and witty. :D
Small things amuse small minds. So do large things amuse large minds? And if so, how small or large is your thing and how small or large is my mind? Coz I'm amused by you. :)
2006-07-16 02:29:26 · answer #9 · answered by Purplgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"something" and belive it I'm saying it as clever and witty as I can....
2006-07-16 02:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by reddogcudda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A fool can not learn anything from a wise man, but a wise man can learn everything from a fool.
2006-07-16 02:29:01 · answer #11 · answered by The All-Knowing Sam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋