IVe been dating my boyfriend for two years(known him for 4) and we live together. We get along really well and have a lot of fun together. The thing is, Im 27 and want to get married and have kids someday soon. Most of my friends are already getting married and having kids. But he says that although he eventually wants the same thing, marriage is scary. I dont know if I should see how things go, or if I should expect that he may never be ready to make that step and look for someone new.
2006-07-15 19:12:08 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is a difficult situation....I would sit down with him and explain what you want and in what timeframe (for instance definately married by 30, kids by 35 or whatever you would be willing to go) and how important this is to you. Try to make him understand that while you don't want to force him into anything against his will that currently the way things are is bothering you, too.
If he says he needs a little more time and you really love him I'd wait around 6 months to a year and then re-evaluate if the realationship is worth possibly doing without an important part of life....getting married and having children.....then realize if you left him that it would take awhile longer to find someone you want to be with a raise a family with. I hope things turn out good for you.
2006-07-15 19:20:33 · answer #1 · answered by randompersoness 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I actually saw this thing on Dr. Phil (the TV show), their was a dating and relantionship counselor telling the women on the show that men aren't even thinking or ready to settle down and have a family until they are in their 30's, so since he is telling you that he is a little frightend then maybe you should just wait for it, either way you don't want to rush him into something that he knows he isn't ready for...if you can't wait for him then maybe you need to think twice about your relantionship and if your willing to wait until he's ready, don't rush him because then it will just be worst, at least you know he wants to commit to you that way but just not yet, enjoy your time together alone without children and all of the extra responsibilities while you can.....
2006-07-15 19:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by Cool Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I think you have to decide if you really want to get married, or if you just want to get married because all your friends are doing it. If it's what you really want, then you do need to sit down and have a conversation about what both your plans and hopes are for the future. If he really loves you and is just nervous (which is totally natural), that's something you can work through together, but if he's nowhere near being ready to get married then you may be in two far-too-different places in your lives.
2006-07-15 19:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all. You shouldn't move in together. I know thats the new thing now. But no. Now it would been good if you and him had y'all own place and just stay at each other place every now and then. You gotta get him sometime to think about it. He probably asking God for help to see if its time to get marry. He probably wanna know if everything is right for him to prepare to get marry to you. Are you the one and the only one he want to be with for the rest of your life? Because marriage is tough. Theres no such thing as perfect marriage. Every man is scared. We don't want nothing bad to happen like divorce, child support, not getting alot of SEX, and fights. Give him some time. Be patience and DON"T RUSH HIM. And pray to God about this.
2006-07-15 19:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect. You boyfriend might be afraid of rejection - that is divorce. If your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable marrying, don't force him. Give him some time to reflect. For marriage to work, both parties have to be more than themselves. They have to learn to co-operate, understand each other, respect. Maybe your boyfriend thinks about this. That might be a reason to why he was scared to marry. He has second thoughts. So, my advice is: Give him more time to think and make a decision. Don't force him into marrying you. If he doesn't want to, then it's fully your choice to either stay with him or find another man. It's your choice ultimately.
2006-07-15 19:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kurniawan A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is something beyond words....by this time u must have understood it .......and marriage is the ultimate point where the lovers reach.....isnt it?how can marriage be something scary for true lovers?does he have a good job or does he find any difficulty to talk to his parents?is he not confident about his role as a husband?ask him all this......if his problem is something else go thru it................and if does want to just spend time in loving and dating without marriage......baby its high time----------go for someone who is good and can take care of u the whole lifetime.....good luck...
2006-07-15 19:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by skatygal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you really sat down and talked about it (and not while the game's on LOL) then you could figure out why marrige is so scary for him. and if still don't think he's ready but you are than boot him out the door.
2006-07-15 19:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if hes talking about it then he most likely wants to commit to you. just give him time. rushing things or pressuring him will just spell disaster. thats something that only time could take care of.
2006-07-15 19:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Shooter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're really ready for marriage and he is not ready, than. . .well only you know the answer to that.
2006-07-15 19:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by m_rae0232 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋