My fiance just started talking to his ex-girlfriend and I'm worried. When we met he thought she was dead and recently found out she is alive. He talks to her all the time and has even stopped helping to plan our wedding. He says I have nothing to worry about because they are just old friends. However, he told he a year ago that the only reason they broke up was because he moved away. I've always trusted him, but something tells me I shouldn't were this woman is concerned. She even wants to come to our wedding so she can see him again. What do I do?
2006-07-15 18:25:02 · 9 answers · asked by lizardlover1717 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
When issues come into a relationship where another person who is an old lover of one of u is concerned, there are always doubts. I'm sure all women in ur situation would be worried about where the relationship is going. And so do u remember when he proposed to u- after or before he found out that she was still alive? I guess this question does play a big part in deciding whether ur fiance is still in love with her or not, because if he found out before he proposed to u, then u would probably be likely the woman he wants to be with; however if proposed to u first and then found out, then i guess it is something to re-assess. But I think that most of all, what does ur heart say and think? Does ur intuition tell u that he is still in love with her or u?
Maybe its a good idea to be honest with ur fiance and tell him how u r feeling because of this. Once u r married, honesty plays a major part in working marriages. If after u've told him ur feelings about the interactions between him and her and he has second thoughts about the relationship, then clearly he is still in love with her.
Because of ur uncertainties, ask him how long they were together for and at that time, how much he loved her. Did he still love her after he moved and hope that one day they would be together again? The answers to these questions will give u a more in-depth idea in helping u deal with those uncertainties.
2006-07-15 19:15:42 · answer #1 · answered by starry_night_swirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one....... The fact that he thought she died and found out she didn't would bring a lot of emotion up...this doesn't mean you can't trust him but I would talk to him this is serious stuff especially if you are going to marry him... you don't want to have to wonder for the rest of your life if he didn't already make the commit to you would he be with her.....good luck
2006-07-15 18:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend "FEELINGS" are never wrong! if you think you should be worried you prob should be. this is the choice you have to make: set him free and chance him not choosing you, OR fight for all your worth to keep whats yours!be understanding, and not mad, BUT lay down the law! ITS HER OR ME , NOW ,NO MORE GAMES. he has to tell her in front of you he loves you and wants to spend his life with you. get your answer out loud. not just in your feelings.
2006-07-15 18:34:01 · answer #3 · answered by sillygoose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is wrong.
You cannot compromise when it comes to ex-relationship.
He may leave you somewhere in the middle
or he plays a double role.
Be careful, your relationship and life are at stake.
2006-07-15 18:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it. He will say they are just friends, but I'll tell you that it's a bunch of bull crap.
No man (except gay men) have girl "friends" that they are not interested in sleeping with. It's not in our nature.
2006-07-15 19:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he is spending all his time with her and not you now, you should be the center of attention not her, that was old.........you are the new...How do you know after you marry him that he won't still continue to see her and talk to her....Put a stop to it NOW before you end up on the outside LOOKIN IN!!!
2006-07-15 19:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by buttapecan19702 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way is just to ask no matter what his lips say more often then not the true answer will be right there on his face
2006-07-15 18:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TELL HIM YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH HIM TALKING TO HER AND THAT SHE IS A PART OF HIS PAST THAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR HIM TO KEEP IN THE PAST. IF HE RUNS INTO HER AND THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION THAT IS DIFFERENT BUT JUST TALKING TO TALK IS A NO NO FOR SURE
2006-07-15 20:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by <<SEXY MOMMA>> 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask him to stop talking to her. tell him it bothers you. If he truly loves you, he will respect that.
2006-07-15 18:29:44 · answer #9 · answered by Donna M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋