Ya Know You're a Drunkard When (Part. 13 of ?) If ya don't like Subject DON"T OPEN IT!?

Question

Willys cynical thought for the day,

Those who don't laugh at themselves just leave the freaking job to someone else! My parent's taught me that there are some jobs that NOBODY else can do like me! LOL

With a bottle of Passport Scotch and a suitcase of Stroh's you can go on vacation without ever leaving your house.

You never drink anything stronger than vodka before breakfast.

You make a point of never drinking before noon. This is convenient, because you’re never up before three in the afternoon.

One of your hobbies is sitting down and calculating exactly how much liquor your next paycheck would buy at the liquor mart. Just out of curiosity, of course.

Your co-workers start whispering with concern when you don't come in with hangover.

Your boss tells you to "Shape up or ship out," and you reply, "You mean like a cruise ship? Are the drinks expensive on cruise ships?"

The whole terrorism deal became very clear to you when you found out Muslims aren't allowed to drink.

You wish you were closer to Jesus, especially when he's doing his wine to water thing.

A cold cement floor looks comfortable and inviting.

You wish temperance leagues still sang anti-drinking religious hymns outside bars, because, you know, it'd be a very funny thing to watch while getting hammered.

You think alcohol-fueled automobiles are the wave of the future because, hey, it certainly works for you.

You think a wrong number is an adequate excuse to go on a bender.

"Going out for a beer or two" sometimes means waking up in Vegas three days later.

You hated Ted Kennedy until you realized he can probably out drink you.

You always confuse the words picture and pitcher, especially when someone says, "Hey, take my picture."

You happen to share the same home town, ethnicity, lifestyle, opinions, occupation or whatever-the-hell of whoever happens to be buying the drinks.

You consider vodka a chaser.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

From; From; WILLYS JOKES 2/9/06 You Know You're a Drunkard When; Pt. 3 Final The best, online, jokes bar (pun intended none)

Answer 1

&& i still ♥ you

Answer 2

lmao
"You always confuse the words picture and pitcher, especially when someone says, "Hey, take my picture.""

"You wish temperance leagues still sang anti-drinking religious hymns outside bars, because, you know, it'd be a very funny thing to watch while getting hammered."

Those were the funniest parts to me

Answer 3

I never knew I was one till now thank you

Answer 4

cheers and why does ◊ ♠♣♥♦Ďā βěĀ...love you soo much.

Answer 5

lmfao!!!!!!!!---the best in a long time!!!!!!!!!!!----i think i,m on vacation right now!!!!!!!!!!!!