I cant blame anyone but me, but how should i approach this?

Question

I met someone over the internet about a year ago. We became good friends and eventually we were both anticipated in meeting in person someday. Well i dont wanna put myslef down but i do believe i have low self confidence and when i met him i lied about the way i look because i didnt have pictures to show him. So i jus played along and eventually he began to grow on me. He began to like me and i was starting to like him. I was truthful to him with everything else but my appearance. Long story short.... a few days ago he called me with a question...I already knew what he was gonna say...He found the myspace page that had my real pics on it ...and i guess it upset him that i lied and kept it from him for so long. I wanted to tell him but i wasnt sure how. I lost a person i liked so much over a lie. Should i jus forget about it and move on? I kinda wanted to kno how he feels about it?? any ideas?

Answer 1

I would send him an email and be honest with him. Tell him some of the feelings that you just mentioned within your question. Once that is done, the ball is in his court. At least you tried to make things right and that is all that you can do.

Answer 2

Its too late to take back the lie, he found you out BEFORE you told him the truth. Why did you lie? Surely you knew it would eventually be found out, like when you met? Why so long with the lie? Did you hope you would "grow" on him so much he wouldn't care? Maybe he is upset for being lied to about this and now does not trust ANYTHING you said? Problems problems problems. Next time don't lie! Do yourself a favor, if you can post your pic on myspace, you could have directed him to that a long time ago and saved yourself the embarassment and disappointment, or better yet, sent him a copy of the pic up on myspace. More lies right? So do yourself and some other "potential" a favor, be upfront from the get go! You will feel better about yourself, and you will know that someone is liking you just the way you are, and NOT the front you lied about! Good luck!

Answer 3

I think you should forget about it and move on. By telling him this lie, you created an image that he was expecting to see. He became really interested in a person that didn't exist. When he found out the reality he was so excited over was false, yeah I can imagine he'd be pretty pissed. I've known people who've done the same and they had to learn the hard way, too. Just know that he liked you for you, the fake exterior image was just a bonus. Next time be more up front. You can "soften" your features, just don't lie.

Answer 4

More than moving on, i would advice you to introspect in this situation. What made you lie to him? Obviously, you played along thinking that this relationship isnt getting serious. But eventually it got serious and you could not revert. Anyways learn from the situation.we get to learn certain things from this situation---
1. Foundation of any relationship cannot be a lie but is pure truth, however ugly it may be.
2. One must have the power to forgive. (This applies to that guy, who refuses to forgive you).
3. Even when you lied to him in the beginning, you could have later told him the truth, by saying that you did not show your real pic because of security reasons cause you did not know who he was. (You wouldnt want your pic out in the net with a wrong guy)
4. Move on - cause if a guy is unable to forgive a friend, he aint worth a penny!

Answer 5

No matter what your reason was for lying, you still lied. You have to understand that he feels betrayed, and has to wonder what else you may have lied about, you can't blame him for that. You could give it a few days and then email him. Tell him how sorry you are, explain why you did it, assure him everything else you told him was true and then tell him that you hope to hear from him, but that if you don't you will take that as an answer that he can't forgive the lie and you will not contact him again as he seems to wish it. And then do it.

Answer 6

You can't let it go without at least trying to smooth things over and make them right. Just tell him the same things you've said here. Be honestly apologetic. Just because you look a little different, doesn't change the "you" he grew to like site unseen. He may feel that since you misrepresented that, you may have misrepresented other things about you too. You need to show him you didn't. And tell him why you did what you did.

And remember, honesty is always the best policy. That's all online relationships have to go on. You are who you are. Don't try to be somebody else because you can never be somebody else as well as you can be you. If somebody doesn't like you for YOU, then it's their loss, not yours.

Answer 7

I would make an attempt at sending an email that was honest - starting with oyur reasons for doing this and letting him know how you feel. Then the ball is in his court and I would not persue it after that. It is hard for one person to trust another when the relationship starts out on a lie- it kind of makes you always wondering and there are enough struggles and trials in a relationship without adding trust issues.
I know you would feel the same way. I hope it all works out for you,

Answer 8

Take it as a learning experience that lies will always get you in trouble. He is right to be upset that you didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth about your appearance. And anyone who would be shallow enough not to be friends with you because of your appearance isn't worth your time anyway. Maybe he's just upset and needs a little time to mull it over, you hurt and deceived him and it takes some time to heal. And if he doesn't contact you, like I said, just take it as a learning experience.

Answer 9

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Lieing always gets us in trouble. It's something we have all been accused of or done in the past and many times than most. We all sometimes pretned to be who we are not especially on the internet. It's happening every second of every day. even as you read this. Lieing is the easy thing to do, but admitting we lied is harder and proves the quality of your character goes beyond the lies we tell. Phone him, email him, explain to him why you lied and an apology is certainly in order. If he forgives you or not, atleast you've cleared your path. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Answer 10

You should explain to him that you have low self-confidence and that because you didn't want him to lsoe interest you lied about your appearance. Let him know that you've grown attached to him greatly and that you didn't lie about anything else. Tell him you're so sorry and feel terrible about lying to him since you feel so close to him. Then listen. If he wont talk to then, you may have to move on, but you always have to give thingsa try first.
Good luck :)