I cant believe i have to ask this!?

Question

i know that there are signs and signals to certain things but im not sure if i am reading them correctly. I dont understand why an individual has to be concidered conceided or stuck up if they stay to themselves. it seems like the more i stay in my room to myself the more i get dirty looks from some people.

I mean when i actually come out there and talk im looked at as if to say why are you talking...stay in your place? or someone gets real quiet as if to say what is she talking about? Im sorry if im not very clear about this but i just want to know what to do in this situation.

and to give a better scenario this is only when im at home around my fiances family thats becuase i dont want to say anything else to start trouble or get yelled at... they say im weird or something and no one likes me when im around

Answer 1

If your man meets your needs and you love him, you don't have to have anything to do with his family. If they are pre-judging you your man should step in and explain how you are a good woman to him and they need to accept you and your opinions as you are the one he has chosen. My family treated my wife the same way until I did this. Now they are accepting and we all get along great. Good luck to you, I hope this works out.

Answer 2

This isn't an easy situation to live with and it can put major stress on your relationship with your fiancee...and that may be exactly what some people want.

It doesn't really matter how other people feel about you or why they do, but what does matter is how you feel in your own home. What does matter is how you feel about yourself. Be confident that you are NOT a trouble-maker and that you mean the best for everyone. Be confident that you are the best person for your fiancee. And live like you know it. Everyone else will come around or make a fool of themselves.

There are sometimes where people are so difficult that you can't stay:::this is when you and your fiancee have some discussing to do. You cannot expect anyone to change. If his family aren't treating you well now, prepare for the fact that it may only get worse in the future. Embrace that worse case scenario and discuss it fully with your life-partner. If you two are unable to mitigate a solution, it may drive you two apart.

I am intimately familliar with this type of problem and sometimes you just have to grin and bear it and other times you need to leave. But in all things, you have to continue to do what's best for you.

I wish you all the luck in the world...God bless.

Answer 3

for the most part friendship and family is a two way street. we all love time alone and some people we wish would spend more time alone or atleast someplace that we are not,,, but your fiances' family probably thinks you dont like them and maybe you dont but in order to placate to their crys of you being stuck up, find a game or some cards or rent a movie somthing that gets you out in front of them for an hour or two quickly they will understand who you are. if two hours is too much and playing a game with them isnt in your thing make an effort to atleast sit in with them for 15 20 minutes a day and talk about their day or the weather, dislikes or anything that might come up that is upbeat and with a sad/ negative slant. then run and hide for the rest of the day from his family they are a bunch of pains in the arses any how and its understanded why you dont want to be there lol good luck

Answer 4

Relax, It's not that serious. Open each day like a precious gift. Greet every one with a smile and a friendly hello. Life is like this, You get what you plant. Stop analyzing other peoples thoughts, you'll go nuts. Just give what you can and take what you need. You'll be a joy to be around.

The more you help others the less you'll have these feelings. Life will be more meaningful to you. I believe it was Marcus Aurelius 2500 years ago that said something like this,I'm going to meet people today who are stupid, Rude, Ungrateful, Hurtful etc. but I couldn't imagine a world with out such people.

That's their problem, avoid such people. surround yourself with people that make you feel good and guess what, you'll be one of them.

Good luck
Three Rivers

Answer 5

Ohhhh...that is a very touchy subject when it involves the family. Have you tried to talk to your fiance about the matter? maybe he can give you some in-site on what should be done. Till then try to have small talk with them...compliments....as much as you may not want to....this is a way of making people feel comfortable, try to get them to enter act in a conversation with you by asking questions on topics that they enjoy talking about....but most of all your fiance needs to help you by backing you with these feelings you are having and helping you Thur it in any way he can. I hope things work out for you.....remember this.......this soon too will pass.

Answer 6

Sounds like you belong to the club I'm in... the introverts club. Extroverts find us to be a bit weird, but there's really nothing wrong with being introverted at all. What's important is that your fiance loves you, respects you, and treats you well. And vice versa. From now on when interacting with the relatives, just smile and compliment them and add a question ("Wow, I love that outfit you're wearing, where did you get it?). That way they can do all the talking while you nod your head and smile (most people just want to be listened to anyway). Check out the following article about introverts... (it's not a virus trick!)

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

Answer 7

People misinterpret others all of the time,especially if there is a lack of communication. it sounds to me like you guys need to do some talking to one another instead of assuming each other.
I think that maybe now you are afraid to come out of your room with the fears that others are thinking badly of you. Your fears are also getting in the way of your need to communicate.

What I recommend is this.....just calmly open up. Let them know that you are not wanting to start trouble and just let them know that you are not meaning to come off as being stuck up or antisocial. it is important that you clear these things up before there is a huge blow up

Answer 8

Sounds like you are a shy person! You need to socialise with them more so they can know who the real you is. Maybe you are just misreading their looks. It can be hard to have a conversation when the person is very reserved. You need to be more open and suggest an activity that you all might enjoy together and before you know it you and them both will realise you have more in common. All the best!

Answer 9

I don't really have advice...just a perspective. I was one of those girls in school & even I am now, who keeps to herself. It isn't because I think I am better than anyone. It isn't that I think I'm perfect because Lord knows I don't. There has always been a thing with me. I don't really know how to describe it. Girls & I don't get along. Besides girl/girl relationships, I don't have any girl friends. Never have. People look at me as being conceited, moody, self-absorbed, etc...cuz I keep to myself. I mostly kept to myself as a teenager because I was abused & I really didn't know how to socialize. People interpreted that quietness as conceit. It was in fact the very opposite. It was fear. I understand your situation & my only advice is that you can't control what other people think about you. All that matters is what you think of yourself. People will always have their judgements & opinions. Just look past them & maybe try to talk with your fiance. In laws suck. They always will. That is something that will have to be dealt with eventually. But in the meantime, you aren't alone. Good luck to you!

Answer 10

you need to grow some confidence they have proberly giving up talking to u as they dont get much back......
you need to start making the effort and you will relax into there company and them yours.

you shouldnt be hiding in your room, talk to partner and explain that way he can talk to his family and explain ur shy.

you dont sound stuck up but i can understand that the family arnt making the effort to be nice to you.

keep ur head held high and take a deep breath and talk to them about anything that u know is an intrest to them and if u cant think of anything then talk about the weather.

i hope this helps, its hard to answer the q.

good luck