How to deal with sexual abuse.?

Question

Im 27 now and for all these years i have always thought about what my dad made me go through till i was 16 and moved out. It doesn't bother me like 24/7 but when im with a girl now it triggers my past. My dad use to literally treat me as a sex toy...

How can i deal with this
If you were sexually abused as a child how did you deal with it?

Answer 1

u need 2 confront ur dad about it-he needs to kno he did wrong-if u cant then...the only thing i can think of is if u talk about it-whether if its with a proffessional, good friend, or someone whos dealed with similar problems.

Answer 2

I wasn't sexually abused as a child, although my father was an abusive alcoholic.

My belief is that this is a deeply scarring psychological issue that truly requires counseling and support. I think the only way to eradicate the deeply troubling memories it to deal with them, and this is an issue that should be dealt with professionally. There are worlds of great literature on the subject (Frank McCourt comes immediately to mind) but to talk it out, work it out in a cleansing and meaningful way is what the professionals will suggest to you, son.

And this will hopefully allow you to love more meaningfully and not be troubled by these dark thoughts every time the question of human sexuality comes up. Further, resolving your situation as best you can will help you greatly in your fatherhood.

Your father did you grave harm. Understand this, forgive him if possible, and get this worked out. By professionals and support groups. Your girlfriend (if she is a true friend) will understand and support you.

I wish you worlds of good fortune in working this out and getting beyond the darkness of your father's illness. Let the light come and enjoy your sexuality; it's wonderful. But please, get help.

Answer 3

First you must never never ever think that somehow it was your fault or you did something to have your dad want you sexually-you were a child with no choice while he was the adult with choice and all the control.Parents commit incest because the child can be controlled,made to do what the parent(s)wants and is easy prey for the adult. I would suggest you contact your County Community SERVICE Board and talk with someone-very caring or the abuse hot line for it would benefit you greatly to have therapy so this abuse by your father will not interfere with you having a normal relationship now.Depending on your finances they will refer to therapist that has low to sliding fees. Have not been abused but fostered children who were and we stress not the child's fault and that to force or coerce someone that is unable or old enough to make choice is always wrong. Incest-parent abusing child is not as rare as thought but happens too frequently and it causes life long scars .Why therapy is so important-will not make it go away but helps you to live with it and teaches you that you can have a healthy relationship-not destined to repeat abuse either. I wish you a happy life.

Answer 4

I suggest you get counseling from someone who has experience with these issues. You might be able to get a referral from a rape crisis center. Know that not all therapists specialize in all things, so finding someone who has a background/specialty in this area is important.

I was abused by a relative who lived with us and I sometimes have problems during sex too. I learned to tell my partners about this in advance (or at least early on) so they understand if I need to stop doing something or switch to something else. I also have a rule of "no talking about bad/heavy stuff when we aren't dressed". Sounds silly, but it helps make bed/sex a safe place. There might be other things that you and your partners can do to help yourself, but you'll have to do some trial and error and having a counselor to talk about the past issues will help.

Answer 5

Personally it seems your "father" was a sick twisted pr ick. Second of all large doeses of pills and whiskey combined, should be the first stage of treatment. Once your able to cope under the first step in treatment it is time to go get a shotgun I assume you still know where your "father" is (hope so as this is kind of a key part) lather up the barrel of the shotgun straight up his a s s. Pull the trigger and repeat as necessary. Once the old man is no longer go ahead and give the barrel a soul kiss and pull the trigger there should be no pain after this has been accomplished.

Answer 6

Did you keep it a secret or turn him in? I'm thinking maybe you kept it a secret and moved out. You probably should go through counselling so you can talk out all the stuff you're holding inside. You might have a trust problem too, because you're supposed to depend on and trust your parents and he blew your trust away with what he did. Try to find a minister or counselor to talk to, write down your feelings to vent them in a journal or even a letter to your dad, confront him if necessary, you want to get the feelings out so you can move on.

Answer 7

I can tell you what not to do: ignore it. I know two people (although both female) that had same experience & haven't gotten help & are still messed up about it years later. I think you should get counseling. Yes, you'll carry this with you the rest of your life, but a counselor can help you learn how to deal with it in a constructive manner.

Answer 8

YOU need to get this ghost out of your life.
You were NOT at fault and you are unconsciously blaming yourself.
YOUR DAD was sick, HE had the problem.
AS HARD AS IT MAY SEEM -YOU HAVE GOT TO FORGIVE HIM-REALLY-WRITE HIM, CALL HIM AND TELL HIM.
You dont have to be best buddies with him by any means, tell him you know he has a problem, not you, but you forgive him for this SIMPLY because you WANT TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE NOW THAN YOU HAD AS A CHILD .
Get this burden off of your back.

Answer 9

I really believe that the people who are recommending consoling are putting you on the right track. let me reminded you that sexual abuse is a crime , pure and simple. Warmth and huggies
will not replace what has been stolen from you. As tough as it is may be you need to go to your local law enforcement agency and turn him in. it's a felony. true you have been through HELL with the memories this man has left you with, But do you want buy keeping your silence let him keep on doing this to other children. recovery rate for this is only 18%,.nation wide. burn his ***.

Answer 10

You are a LIAR.

The ? you asked About you being a pedophile you stated and I quote

""""No i was not touched when i was a child. But like little girls are innocent looking and cute..."""""

Now you are having sick fantasies about your father only so you can jerk off on people sad rape story's you are one sick SOB.

You need to take a bottle of pills with a whiskey chaser before you rape any more children.