my son is 8 and he is always talkin back and being disrespectful,i spank him and put him in time out and put him on punishment. but he still pushs my buttons especially when his dad is gone he is even worse,what should i do,i dont wanna hurt him i just want him to behave better.
2006-07-15 14:01:59 · 64 answers · asked by renee s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Obviously you are not being very consistent with the discipline or you wouldn't be having these problems.
Take the Dr Phil Questionnaire!!
A Discipline Questionnaire for Parents
Click here for a printable version of this questionnaire.
Want to know how well you are parenting your children? Take Dr. Phil's test by answering true or false to the following questions.
Part One
1. My children can predict the consequences of their actions with a high degree of accuracy.
2. My children know they have to perform certain things they don't want to do in order to get access to things they do want to do.
3. My partner and I present a united front regarding rules and discipline to our children.
4. I adjust my communications to my child to his/her level of understanding, taking his/her age into account.
5. I am friendly and loving with my children yet I have established myself clearly as a respected authority figure in their lives.
Part Two
1. I choose rewards and punishments based on what works.
2. I reward my child for good behavior.
3. I parent without guilt.
4. I am sensitive to not over-scheduling my child.
5. I render discipline without anger.
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Scoring: If you answered "false" to any questions in part one or part two, there are things you can do to more effectively discipline your child.
Advice
Avoid some common parenting mistakes.
You may be using forms of discipline that are ineffective at your child's age.
From The Show
Are You Disciplining Your Child the Wrong Way?
Related Links
Biggest Mistakes Parents Make
Questions to Ask Before Spanking
What to Do When You Disagree on Discipline
Listening to Your Child's Bad Behavior
Five Steps to Disciplining Your Child
The Pros and Cons of Spanking
Stop Spoiling Your Kids
2006-07-15 14:05:10 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer B 5 · 7⤊ 4⤋
This is gonna sound cruel but I would knock his block out. I would smack him in the mouth everyx he said something disrespectful out of his mouth or u can buy a paddle and ball fm back in the day and spank him w/the paddle he will get the hint after he feels the *** whoppin also u have 2 be very sturdy w/him and keep ur ground w/him cuz if u don't he will continue to do what he's doing if u don't take control. Kids always listen 2 there father I think it's because of the tone in there voice that scares him. I hope this wasn't 2 harsh
2006-07-15 14:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by shortyb5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
READ "How to Talk so Kids will LIsten, How to LIsten so Kids will Talk." You should NOT be spanking him - this teaches him that it's okay to hit. Also, very very important, show him you can trust him, ex. Say you take away the TV for a while as a punishment, say, such as "I trust you will not turn the TV on", and if he does that he will know the consquences. Take something else away that's a privledge. Remember, if you show him trust, he will grow up to be a very trusting and respectful young man. Good luck. P.S. The book is wonderful - it's written by moms for moms/dads and it's a great communication tool.
2006-07-15 14:06:55 · answer #3 · answered by FunInTheSun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him why he is so angry. help him to identify his feelings. tell him it is ok to feel mad, sad, or frustrated....and then tell him once he identifies what he is feeling that there are only certain ways that are acceptable for him to deal with it. Only spank as a last resort. Let him deal with himself first. Ask him if he is making wise choices. Tell him that your role is to help him figure out how to make the best choices. I have a 9 year old son who went through the same thing a couple years ago. and now he is very well behaved and he wouldnt think of talking back. Be consistent too. if you need to take something away. let him know it then take it if he doesnt behave. but make sure he understands the feelings that he experiences. you might be surprised that he doesn't
2006-07-15 14:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by dixiesapp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok for one do not curse at him or hit him or yell at him when you are trying to dicipline him... by doing this he knows that he is pushing your buttons... try to count to 10 and talk to him eye to eye hold him by his arm.. don't yell but do sound assertive.. like you have control not him....tell him to stop doing whatever he is doing and also let him know the consequences of his action... if he continues to doing it then put him on time out standing in the corner facing the wall... and take the tv off game off nintendo etc, do not give in he will understand... and tell him he won't be off punishment 'till he say sorry for what he did...but stick to your rules.. there is something he likes the best take that away from him.. and you have to do this also when your husband is there too.. so that he knows that daddy ain't going to help rules are rules no matter who is there....hopefully this works for you... talking situation... make him write standard or time out he is 8 make him write then 8-10 times and turn off all the tv's if he has a tv in his room take it from him till he stops talking back to you spanking do it 'till extremaly neccessary.
2006-07-15 14:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by M S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it must be the age because my 8 year old daughter is the same way.. i think it may be they are stuck somewhere in the middle, they are not babies anymore, not teenagers or pre teen, and i think in my daughter's cause it more about seeing how much she can actually get away with and the frustration of not exactly knowing where she fits in... i try to defuse the situation before it gets out of hand and most of the time it works.. I'll walk away, lock myself in my room and sometimes the bathroom until i calm down and then talk to her.. but we have gotten "into it" many times and she gets punished, things taken away, etc.
I tell everyone that she is either gonna have no social life when she's older because she will be punished or a very active social life because i will let her go just so i won't have to deal with anything.. Good Luck!!! and remember you are not alone...
2006-07-15 14:12:56 · answer #6 · answered by DeeDee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and spend more time with him, talk to him, make him understand that is not gOOd for you what he's doing, he is 8 year old, and i bet he can understand that much same as he can understand how to behave bad. By spanking and punishing him things won't change a bit, you'll make him even angrier and make him hate you....Remember one thing the key to that is TALKING, YOU will never get something gOOd in return back with violence......
2006-07-15 14:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lesley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that you are not spoiling this child. Give him the silent treatment. Tell him beforehand that if he acts this way, you will not talk to him until he behaves. Threaten him in a manner that will make him feel punished, not scared. My mother used to put me on the kitchen counter when I was 5 because that meant I couldn't get down. As I got older, she'd put me in the garage until Daddy came home to rescue me. That taught me to behave because I was deprived of my cartoons, my toys, and my brothers.
2006-07-15 14:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by tingaling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was spanked as a child, if it doesnt work after a while it just wont work. if chores are an issue dont do any of them and he will figure out why he needs to do them, if he curses, smack him in the face (he wont like it and will eventually learn to not curse around you). if he begs for toys to no extent, just dont get any for him and do not too any extent give in. also the thing you need to remember is reinforce positive behavior dont only punish him also reward him for positive behavior. if worse comes to worse you could do what my mom did and bring me down to the police station to prove that it is quite the luctury to be living in the house he is in (trust me it worked for me- i calmed down quick). one of the most imprtant things is to prove that sometimes you can be wrong or he will fight you to no ends, and dont give him a reason to think that he is in the right all the time or you are if you know you are wrong. i have been there and know what its like. trust me on this one.
2006-07-15 14:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by мΛІ€ҢΛр™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he thinks he can get away with it when his father isn't there to hear it
I would get his father on board and present a united front together with this boy to let him know that his attitude is far from OK.
One thing i hear of a mum doing was to say 'OK then if that is what you think i am off' and then go upstairs and pack a suitcase and say to the child ' no point in me being here anymore if this is how little you regard me'
2006-07-15 14:11:35 · answer #10 · answered by Aslan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go into his room and take everything out except for his bed and dresser with clothes. Box all his toys up and put them in the garage or a closet that he cannot get too. Tell him until he can start behaving and showing you the respect you deserve he will not get his stuff back. Make him earn his stuff back.
2006-07-15 14:06:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋