Is my son depressed?

Question

My son is 9 yrs old and things never go his way! He's been having headaches for 3 yrs, and now he says he cant sleep some nights and his tummy hurts often. He seems real depressed and moody most of the time. He stays in trouble all the time, he just cant do things right and if he tries something new he gets hurt. If he goes swimming he starts drowning, if we go hiking he rides his bike off a cliff. None on purpose, just bad things happen to him and its really making him sad, me too.

Answer 1

Boy, if all those things happened to me, I might become depressed. No, I don't believe he's depressed, yet. Sounds like he might have a health or balance issue. I would get him thoroughly checked by a reputable doc. He isn't overweight is he? You might want to try a good diet. I recommend this one... it's very healthy. Plus there are all sorts of great health tips on this site:
http://www.chetday.com

Answer 2

I always hate to say "seek professional help", because odds are they will have all sorts of drugs to try out on your kiddo, but it seems that both a visit to a pediatrition and a family therapist might help. I wouldn't necessarily say he's depressed, but some internal issues may be causing health or social trouble. I would try non-drug therapy first, especially since he's only nine. Some of the drugs commonly perscribed to children are harder to quit that heroin later in life, especially behavior drugs. Prescriptions should be a last ditch effort after making sure his diet is healthy (My childhood migranes and chronic bad moods went away after I changed my eating and excersise habits) because you wouldn't want to teach him that quick fixes and miracle drugs are the answer, nor damage his little liver. Is he stimulated in school? Is he involved with people and projects that HE cares about? Does he have comfortable opportunities to talk about problems, past or present? You know better than anyone what the potential issues are, so keep your eyes open. Be a comfort to him, not a nusance. Obviously you are worried about him, but sometimes worry turns rational people into overbearing, over-protective individuals, which may make him pull away from you. Keep things light hearted, use laughter as medicine, and make sure to not allow your concerns become his. You don't want to put all these potential diagnoses into his head and make him feel like a weirdo. If he is diagnosed with something specific, give him all of the information you can and allow him to accept it. Maybe even get him into a group with other kids with the same issues, so he feels less alienated. Good luck, I know you'll figure it out.

Answer 3

Ok, first, why are you letting him ride his bike when you are HIKING. Headaches and tummy aches are symptoms of something bigger. First take him to the pediatrician, then the eye doctor. Then worry about how you treat him. Its your job to ensure that he does things that are age appropriate that he CAN do. If he can't swim properly, get him lessons so he can learn. Explain that when you do things for the first time, most people get it wrong, and then go about proving it by learning something new. Encourage his achievements, don't make a big deal about his losses and mistakes. if a 9 year old kid is depressed, its generally because his parents expect too much from him.

Answer 4

Hello:
This answer is in response to your question posted on yahoo concerning your son and the possibility of him being depressed.
First thing, children do not have the same types of symptoms that adults do when they are depressed. Yes, children can suffer depression, in fact, most adults who have been diagnosed with depression, probably were depressed as children and never diagnosed or never complained because they thought that it was just the way they were supposed to feel.
Your son does show some of the signs and symptoms of depression, ie. vague body complaints (stomach aches, headaches, difficulty sleeping, moodiness, getting in trouble at school, dropping grades?, possible suicidal ideation, even though you say "none on purpose",regardless these things should be taken very seriously.
There are many other childhood psychiatric illnesses that your child may be suffering, therefore my advice to you is to take your son to a Pediatric Psychiatrist, not his regular Pediatrician. There are a battery of tests that the Specialist can do to shed light on your son's signs and symptoms.
If there is a family history of any mental illness not just depression, but bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorders, these can put your son at risk for depression.
As far as medication treatment for your son, if he is clearly diagnosed with depression, talk with you doctor. Anti-depressants may work differently in children than in adults, simply because their body chemistry is different than adults.
There has been evidence showing that anti-depressants can increase a child's risk for attempting or committing suicide.
The physican can make the determination whether medication and/or psychiatric counseling is the correct way to treat your son.
I hope this helps to answer you questions and alleviate some of your concerns.
Regards,
Warren Shaffer, M.D.

Answer 5

Yeah having bad things happen to a child that age can probably mess with his head really bad. If he cant sleep, he has stomach aches a lot, and hes moody and just plain sad all the time....I would defenently go take him to a doctor if you can.. If you don't now it can mess him up when he's older. Depression can happen to anyone, doesnt matter the age.

Good luck and make him happy again. He's a little boy, he shouldnt be sad all the time.

Answer 6

I'm a 13 yr. old kid, and this sounds alot like low self-esteem. If you or anyone else that he looks up to has put him down majorly - even once - it could put him in a state of perpetual misery. He will spend his nights thinking about how terrible he is, and how he will never be the person that (the person he looks up to) wants him to be. The pains and other health problems are caused by immense stress. The clumsiness is caused by his lack of self-esteem and thinking that if he gets himself into a potentially challenging situation (swimming, biking, sports..) he shouldn't even try to save himself. If he is overweight, or appears anorexic, this also points towards this explanation.

I know this because I used to be a depressed 11 yr. old ball of fat, and this is how I felt.

If he is depressed, don't put him on drugs - that's what made my grandmother kill herself. My mother and I use an alternative treatment (http://www.truehope.com), and it has literally saved our lives.

Talk to him, and make sure you guys are on the same level. I sure wish my mother had talked to me earlier. When she did, I was so glad.

Answer 7

Take him to see a therapist, most insurances will pay for that, I am sold on it, it saved my life and helped some of my family members cope with the stress of life, plus the therapist just makes you figure out yourself whats really bothering you. It wont hurt anything either, If going makes you feel weird, dont tell any one he is going.

Answer 8

Maybe in his mind he believes that anything he tries he will fail
at or something bad will happen to him...try getting him involved
in something and not quitting after the first mishap....encourage
him to strengthen his confidence by being positive and telling
him he can do it!!!! Tell him to keep trying at whatever he wants
to do..I hope things get better for him!!!

Answer 9

Please don't let this go without consulting family doctor.
They can and will help him.Don't give up,there is someone out there who can help him.He sounds like these things are not his fault but that something is just not workin for him.
This same thing happened to my nephew and they didn't get him help and he turned to smoking pot at 9 years old.I asked him why he does it and he told me cause it makes him feel normal,and it calms him down.He's 13,now and smokes like a chimney.not in my home or around me but i know.
So please don't wait to long to get your son some medical help..

Answer 10

I don't think so. Maybe he and you are focusing on the bad stuff too much and not of the good things that happen to him, if you look for good things to focus on then you and him maybe happier.