I've been wanting to move out for a long time because I don't get along with her. she doesn't respect my privacy and even read my most personal emails. She thinks it's not christian to move out and insists that I should live with her until I'm married. Like who am I going to get married to if she's most likely going to try to choose him. She calls my friends "satanists" but she hasn't met them and nor does she want to. She tells me what to wear even if its modest and a bunch of other things. do I have every right to pack up my things and move out because I've tried to work things out multiple times.
2006-07-15 12:48:51 · 30 answers · asked by larissa1982000 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If you are over 18, get some money and move out. But don't move out unless you can have some financial stability.
If I were you, talk to your local church leader. Get some advice on how you can handle your mother w/out being blantently disobidient....MAke sure to emphasize how bad it's gotten btwn the two of you: Tell him/her that your mother has pushed you away so much to the point that you want to move out....And you wish that you could have a more loving and understanding relationship w/ her. I high recommend you ask him if it's ok for him to have the two of you come in and talk about your issues, and he use his wisdom to mediate and set up guidelines. It'll say to your mother that you arn't disrespectful of her Xtian values, and would like to work w/ them instead. Besides, I'm sure your mother would like a chance to try and set things straight w/ you too, so it's really a good oppertunity for you both.
If, for whatever reason, this doesn't work....Just bear in mind that you don't really have to do anything your mother tells you to. Don't like your mother going through your stuff? When she's not home, install a lock and key on your closet [or get a box you can lock], and keep stuff you don't want her to see in there. Keep clothes on there that she doesn't like, so she can't throw them away [wash them yourself, too]. Change all the passwords on your computer. In fact, on windows, you can have multiple users, and you can set yourself up as a separate user from the owner of the computer w/ a totally separate password. [However, I'm not sure if that'll work w/ word documents and such]. Set up new passwords for your email, and log out of your mail and such when your not at the comp. You can take back some control.
Do you plan on going to college? That's the best excuse to move out, and get loans to do it. If you are getting an education, and you want to go to a different school than one thats local, then you can say buh-bye to your mother. It's not immoral, it's your education, and a learning experience. Living on your own is apart of life.
If your mother plans to keep you under lock and key until marraige, you will never learn how to live in the real world UNTIL marriage. How unhealthy! You'll never have an oppertunity to be self-relient. You'll never learn how to run your own life, how to manage your own finances, or even how to handle adult issues on your own.....W/out mommy always being on call to preside over what goes on w/ you. If you were to move out when you got married, you might be changed so much by simply living on your own, you might end up a different person than you were before! Afterall, you'd have freedom to be who you'd want to be and expose yourself to what you'd want to be exposed to. This, in itself, is life changing....And not doing this before marriage could be tough to deal w/ in a marraige.
2006-07-15 13:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Cherry 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If you're 18 and she doesn't need you around to take care of her, and you want to move out, then you probably can. It might hurt her, but things may get better after you move out with your relationship. That's more important than where you live. There's nothing unscriptural about moving out. Doesn't she want you to be a Christian of your own free will? It won't happen if she thinks forcing you while at home is the answer. To me, it sounds as if she is afraid that she hasn't prepared you enough to live on your own. Maybe if you prove your responsibility to her more (if you've done this, than at least you've done it) maybe she won't worry so much about you.
2006-07-15 19:55:08 · answer #2 · answered by da chet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're planning to move in with your boyfriend, for example, it has absolutely nothing to do with Christian beliefs.
As an adult, which I assume you are, you've every right to move out and live life in a way that makes you happy. It doesn't mean that you don't love your mother any less (she may be frightened that your desire for independence is a sign of you not needing her or loving her anymore) or aren't a good Christian. It's just a part of growing up.
2006-07-15 19:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweety.. Move Out, for your own well being..save up your money and put a little more than a few miles between you and mom.
Mom sounds scared to live without you, and I really believe you will be doing you both a favor in being more independant if you move.
I really don't understand her invading your privacy the way she has, unless her total focus in life is on you, which from this question, seems to be the case.
Move... go peacefully, telling mom you will miss her but will be back to visit, but move. Please
2006-07-15 19:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by Craptacular Wonderment 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you are very young and are involved in doing things you should not be doing. You sound like you are in rebellion against your mom. If your behavior has made your mom suspicious enough to read your emails then the content may be inappropriate or just wrong. If you friends are considered satanists, maybe they are ...your mom is responsible for your social, physical and spiritual welfare. If you are wearing clothes that are immodest, then your mom has the right to correct you. I suggest that you copperate with your mom and show some respect for her opinion.
2006-07-15 20:03:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask mom if she understands the difference between God's perfect will and God's permissive will. Then ask her if God has a "permissive will" why doesn't she also try to have one.
God has a desire for us that would be called his "perfect will." But because he knows we ourselves are willful- after all he made us to have free will- he tolerates certain things that are outside his "perfect will" for us. This is his "permissive will". Most christians learn about this as it applies to their own lives, but many never loosen up and allow some room for their children. Unfortunately this drives you away from a desire to have a relationship with God OR your mom.
I'm afraid your mom might be to far gone down a "christian" but not "Christ like" path for things to be healed up between you. Your best appeal is to God himself, who believe it or not is on YOUR side! Pray ernestly for your mom to recieve wisdom and discernment- and pray the same for yourself. When both of you have your eyes opened you will be amazed how differently everything looks! Your mom does love you, but she has apparently approached the Bible as a "rule book" rather than as a tool to help us to know God's heart.
I'd like to know what kind of church mom goes to, and what she's been reading. Also would like to know how everything works out.
I hope the best for both of you!
2006-07-15 20:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by something'srotten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should move out if you are able to support yourself. I think that if you want to move out then go ahead. Make sure you sit down and talk to her about why you want to move out. Tell her your reasons and that even if it's not Christian, you can't help it due to the circumstances that she puts you in. Make sure you tell her about all this pressure and frustration that you are telling us. Good luck and make sure whatever happens, be strong. She can't force you to stay. If you have a strong will and you really want to move out that bad, then stick to it. No reason is good enough to keep yo unhappy...
2006-07-15 19:56:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is a control freak. This sounds like the mother from that movie Carrie. You need to pack up and get out! That woman is clearly misdirected and misinformed. I'm curious as to what christian sect she belongs to...sounds creepy.
2006-07-15 19:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're 18 or over, it's your choice and has nothing to do with your mother, as long as you can support yourself.
I moved out 3 weeks after my 18th birthday, 19 years ago. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
2006-07-15 19:53:20 · answer #9 · answered by grinningleaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is good intentioned, but it disturbs you. Its apparent she doesnt trust your judgement. If you are 18 or more you have a perfect right. Just remember your mother maybe trying to protect your viginity for your future husband. Its easy to get caught up in today's life styles. So be very careful in what ever you do.http://www.carm.org/doctrine/100truths.htm
2006-07-15 19:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by rapturefuture 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋