I've been talking to a young lady(31)about a month now,and i finally told her that i am still married,but seperated.The conversation got a tense at first,because she kept saying that i should have told her when she mentioned to me in the beginning that she had recently been hurt by her x who she found out was married and going back to his wife when they wasn't together.But now she knows and i feel a little better,but i don't know how i would go by about asking her to be my lady.She still calls me and we still talk about going out on dates and doing certain things together.I know i have to get a divorce to make things right for us to be together.But ladies,what do to think would be her reaction to me asking her to be my lady friend?Do you think this will break up the friendship that we have now?
2006-07-15 12:45:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It depends on her, personally I would not want to be with someone who is legally married. I think this is between you and her and more discussion. You need to clear the air completely on this one or else this is going to be an issue for as long as you are going to be together. The betrayal will always hurt her if not addressed and when you have a fight this will always come out. If she really thinks that you are an important part of her life, and sounds like she thinks that way since you are still talking she will wait until you get a divorce.
2006-07-15 12:49:21 · answer #1 · answered by pinkginger13 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should decide what you want. If you want her to be your ladyfriend then you need to get rid of your wife. You can't have one and have the other too. I understand about be seperated. BUT thats all you are. You are still tied to this other woman. Becoming seperated means things aren't working out for you NOW but it also means that you haven't ended things. Why would any woman on the face of the planet want to be with someone who is still tied to another woman? That is a slow torture to find out in the end if you go back that she really didn't matter in the first place. She was just a soft place to settle until you made up your mind. Does this make sense at all? I am not pointing fingers? I have been in this position you want to put her in for 5 years now. It isn't a comfy spot. If you don't like/want/love your wife than do something about it. But until you decide what you want to do you shouldn't start a relationship with someone else until you end the one you are in. It can only lead to heartbreak. Being in a marriage is about commitment. Having a girlfriend is all about breaking that commitment by choice. Having a girlfriend is committing yourself. How can you commit yourself to either of them until you make up your mind? Mutual commitments don't work out well. And in the end? It could be you that is left high and dry? Many women don't want to be in that position of attempting a relationship only to learn you didn't get the job.
Good luck.
2006-07-15 12:53:38 · answer #2 · answered by *Monica* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been on the married woman end of this. I would do what you think is best not what you think either of the lasies will want. I know that all women feel that if "the man likes me enough he will leave the other woman". So I think it might be a wise choice to wait to be more than freinds until after the divorce is final. It would make both women say less nasty things about you as well.
2006-07-15 12:51:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that it took you a month to tell her. You knew that she had been hurt before by someone who was not entirely honest, yet you did the same thing. The best thing now is to take things slow and easy with her. Let her chose the pace. Make sure you get going on that divorce. That is one thing that will show her you mean to be with her.
2006-07-15 12:49:27 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your smart, youll wait untill your divorced before getting involved with someone else. If she's smart, she'll dump you for not having been honest from the get go and because the potential ex might not be so quick to let you go which could lead to a potential violent situation if she ever located your female friend.
2006-07-15 12:49:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How ridiculous ! I`m specific seventy 5% of adults wouldn`t be conscious of the solutions to those questions. those subjects are greater effective suitable to severe college point pupils in technology and physique shape training. Why don`t the parents attend a school board assembly and insist adjustments interior the grade college cirriculum. in spite of those unrealistic targets placed on youthful infants, why are maximum of infants graduating severe college without having the flexibility to study or write or understand basic math and English. To get via in todays international, those subjects are greater considerable that the human anatomy, and greater in music of what grade college infants could study.
2016-12-10 07:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you've been honest with her, so I don't see a problem honestly.
All you can do is put the ball in her court by asking.
When you do ask, make sure to answer all of her questions about how you plan to handle your current situation with regard to how it will affect your relationship with her-no matter how uncomfortable they may be. Remember, you're asking her to do something she's not comfortable with in the hopes of being with you.
Good luck! :)
2006-07-15 12:52:24 · answer #7 · answered by this_isridiculous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no woman likes to be second fiddle.no one wants to be the family wrecker.as long as your still with wife she can use it against you in a divorce dragging other lady through the mud.do it the right way.
2006-07-15 12:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by sassy1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look hon you need to get real, all women want security, especially in their relationships. how can you expect her to hang around while you sort out your personal business. you are unreasonable and disgusting. there is no going forward for her with you cause you are still married, what are you thinking trying to get involved with someone else, are looking to have fun, well i suggest just using your hand. i think all persons like you male or female ought to be put in jail. i hope you don't still see your wife and have sex, i think you are hurting her too, have you tried working out your differences, gone to counseling. SORT YOURSELF OUT FIRST. all the best
2006-07-15 12:58:54 · answer #9 · answered by diva anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way it would breakup your friendship is if you break her heart. You just need to reassure her of your feelings. Be up front with her about eveything. about why you don't want to be with your wife and how you want your future to be. This will reassure her that you are not like her ex.
2006-07-15 12:50:55 · answer #10 · answered by nm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋