she's visiting her grandparents and doesn't want to come home becasause of the freedom to do whatever. so told her mom that that she didn't have to tell her anything and that she was grown and could do whaterever her wanted to do! what can my friend do to get her child home? my friend is a single parent, but lives a christian life and only wants what's best for her child. what can she do to get her baby home and is there a law to stop her?
2006-07-15 12:35:12 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
take all her stuff away,except books,but ,magazinwes,tv,bye,bye
2006-07-15 12:39:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First up, the child is not a baby, she is 17 and next year will be able to vote and sign up to get shot at in the services. Having only a second-hand, one-sided version of the situation makes advise difficult. Mother and daughter need to talk on an adult level. All parents must let go sooner or later. The main task is to make sure the child is ready to take full responsibility and control when they do leave. The daughter thinks she is ready. The mother may have some bargaining chips to entice the daughter home but they need to be used wisely. A carrot is no good if the mule knows the whip is hidden behind the back. Let the daughter work out on her own if she wants to come home before going out into the world. Maybe she just needs to be allowed to do some of the things her grandparents are permitting but her mother is denying. Work at this! I am a trucker and I don't want to see this girls face on a missing child poster.
2006-07-15 12:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by St N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mother need to talk to the grandparents and let them know she's taking her daughter back home where she belongs. They all need to sit down with the daughter and let her know that while the grandparents love her she should be at home with her mom. She can come for a visit but she can not longer live there. Grandparents are very special and important in a child's life but the daughter having "freedom" while she's with them shows that there's a big difference between grandparents and parents. Grandparents are supposed to spoil.....parents are supposed to raise responsible adults.
2006-07-15 13:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing her birthday, unfortuately theres not a whole lot legally she can do. Mostly because things take time in courts to go through and probably by the time it gets there, shell be 18 and an adult, and you just wasted the courts and your time and money. Even if the courts could help, and she came home, she will probably leave once she turned 18 anyhow. As bad as it sounds this is a no win situation. It sucks taht kids treat their parents this way, but she is a teenager and has all the answers! As hard as this will be, all you can do is move on, holding that forever spot in your heart and hope that someday, and chances on this are very good, that she will return home and beg your forgiveness for being really childish. good luck
2006-07-15 12:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on where she lives. In the USA children do not have rights until they reach 18 years of age or are released via emancipation.
Rather then forcing her, why not ask her as an adult to go to family therapy and counseling. If all else fails ask if she is mature enough to live under your roof until she is 18 years of age. Would X months really kill you?
My parents got divorced, they played the live with me not the other game rather well. Sometimes it gets annoying and stressful. Try rather then to be a parent to be someone trustworthy. My dad was rather strict with me, but he was also fair. Once i had proved im not an idiot i could do whatever i wanted. I suggest offering rewards and trust for doing the right thing. It sounds to me like she has no reason to return becuase the rules are absolute or so restrictive she can not live.
Eventually it comes down to your ability to trust her.
Hails,
Silence
ps... i just read the question again and noticed i was speaking to the wrong person. please adjust accordingly.
2006-07-15 12:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by silencedwatcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is nearly 18 old enough to vote and join the military. Not much mom can do but try to start treating her as an adult. Trust her and talk to her. Be there for her when she needs you but let her make her own mistakes. When she talks to you really listen you might actually find out she isn't a little girl anymore. If she pursues a legal route she will only alienate this girl even more and possibly damage her relationship with her forever.
2006-07-15 12:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her daughter is no longer a child and she must learn to relate to her as an adult. No one will get involved with someone this close to 18 who does not want to live at home. Your friend must find a way to establish an adult relationship with her daughter that will continue for years to come. In the US many 17yr olds strike out on their own usually because they've completed High School etc. At this age it is to late and a loosing battle to try to fight the inevitable and may cause many hrad feelings for years to come.
2006-07-15 17:55:07 · answer #7 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17 years old and finding her feet. let her do it. walk away let her go and live with her grand parent and shell come home in her own time. the more you tell her or demand the more youll push her away give her the freedom she will get bored. been there, but my daughter has a steady boyfriend now lives back at home and is now 6 month pregnant. the more harder you come on her the worst you will make her. i mean shes not on drugs is she. or gangy in the streets. getting into trouble with the police. if shes not doing any thing like this then shes quite safe with nan right. let her find her own mistakes. dont do it for her.
2006-07-15 14:19:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, technically she is an adult because at age sixteen she could get a job. But she isn't really an adult until she is 18, which, as I am sure you know, is the age she can move out. Maybe if you treat her like an adult, it might be easier to live with her.
2006-07-15 13:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by Becca E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my 17 yr daughter. But I took away her cell phone(which I pay for), Took away the car keys and have blocked "myspace "on my computer. I told her when she wants to act like she was taught then she will only Get one item back per month, but if she refuses to behave the I will take away more. It has worked very well for me. I also have gps on her cell phone, so I know where she is at all times. She dont know that I am tracking her.
2006-07-15 13:45:23 · answer #10 · answered by the_saint1963 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my state if the child is 17 and doesn't want ot come home, there is nothing anyone can do about it. I was 17 when I left home. I live in Michigan
2006-07-15 19:55:52 · answer #11 · answered by Someonesmommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋