Ok, this is killing me. We have a considerable age difference (25years) but are best friends and in love. I couldn't imagine my life without him and only made it this far with his help and kindness. I have met his family and they like me (they didn't trust me at first). But we have kept our relationship a secret from mine (which is why it is killing me because I love my family and hate lying) because I was scared of what they would think about us. In fact, I was never allowed to have a boyfriend in highschool or stay at friends houses because my parents told me I would get raped for sure so that has distorted my views a bit. I just graduated college and live with my grandparents, who are much better people than my real parents, and I think the time has come to tell them. My grandma is always asking me to get a boyfriend. I have been with this man for almost 4 years and it's love. But the hard part is that I have been lying for 4 years.
2006-07-15 09:41:35 · 19 answers · asked by kaliedoscope_eyes86 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Someone was under the impression I was 20...no, we have always been legal. Even I would know that something would be wrong with that. Met at my first job, he was my favorite customer and always came to the restaurant I was working in at the time.
2006-07-16 04:57:07 · update #1
just come out and tell them stop being a coward
2006-07-15 10:55:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mark 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does your Grandma know you have a boyfriend? Try telling her first and having him over a couple of times to get to know your Grandparents. When you tell her say that he is quite alot older than you, and you know she might be concerned, but you really like him and would she meet him before making any conclusions. Tell her the things you like about him and that you hope they'll get along. Once your Grandparents have met your boyfriend a few times, your Grandma could mention on the telephone that you have a boyfriend, she's met him and thinks he's great (if she does!) maybe you could have a meal at your Grandparents house or a restaurant and invite your parents to join you, your Grandparents and your boyfriend.
Just see what happens, try to approach it positivitely and certainly don't tell them for quite a while that you have been seeing each other for 4 years, it'll just hurt them that you didn't tell them before.
2006-07-15 09:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by stickybroom100 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not say your age but confession is good for the mind, soul and body. Do what only you alone can do. Think how you are going to deliver this news, what are the implications. Think also why you are involved with someone so many years your senior. A father figure may be? Try and distinguish the difference between love and hanging on because you may feel safe.
2006-07-15 09:53:40 · answer #3 · answered by enigma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its kind of tough to tell them now because its been a secret for so long, but on the other hand that could actually help you. With the age difference they are going to feel its a temporary relationship and won't have faith in it going anywhere but once you explain that you and he have been together a long time and have a proven track record it should help them accept him some. I would tell them how much not telling them hurt you and that you love them very much but weren't sure you would accept him. Good luck!
2006-07-15 09:46:31 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't pass up your happiness just to please someone else. You just tell them that's the way it's going to be even if they don't like it. As for the difference in age, it will cause you problems down the road but 20 or 30 years with the right person could still be better than 50 or 60 with the wrong one. Good luck
2006-07-15 09:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by Stroker Ace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think by telling the truth it will make you feel better. But also on the other hand you have to live your own life. You have to do what make' s you happy. I'm with a older person now an sometimes I want more then he wants to give I like to go places like the movies and dinner, but he don't want to go anywhere with me. We sometimes don't see eye to eye. IS IT AGE OR NOT. BY THE WAY WE HAVE A 29 YEAR AGE GAP.
2006-07-15 09:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by MONTA M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell? 25 years? You're going to be real happy when you have 25 years to live after he's dead. He's old enough to be one of your parents. What the hell is wrong with girls these days?
You do realize to your boyfriend you are just a little child. He's fullfilling a fantasy of child molestation.
Your parents tell you not to have a boyfriend so you go and find an old man to piss them off even more. If you were my daughter, I'd kill him.
2006-07-15 09:47:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey hes no longer that plenty older. i'm 28 and my boyfriend is nineteen. only tell them it is many times gonna be a huge deal on your mum and dad because of the fact your a woman, yet whilst your that intense then you definately could desire to tell them. What can they say lady your criminal.
2016-11-02 03:12:37 · answer #8 · answered by sokin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an adult and should be able to make your own decisions. Your family will accept him in the long run once they see that you intend on staying together. I know it is hard to tell your grandparents, mostly because of the long time frame of lying to them. Good luck.
2006-07-15 09:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say it's about time to inform your family. But before they meet him I would tell them of his age. You don't want to suprise them with something like that. They may say something they don't mean. Just let them know you are in love, and hopefully they can be happy for you too.
2006-07-15 09:46:38 · answer #10 · answered by collegebusygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family loves you, they will understand. Tell them about your relationship, they may not like it at first but I'm sure if he really is a great guy that will shine through and they will learn to love him.
2006-07-15 09:45:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋