So, what do you think of the "let them cry it out" approach?

Question

When my second daughter had colic I was told to just let her cry herself to exhaustion. I couldn't do that so I did research a found some useful tools in calming her. And now that my daughter is 8 months old she wakes up in the middle of the night crying, I tend to her. I was told to let her cry herself to sleep. But she'll cry for hours before that happens. I can't bring myself to just let my daughter cry herself into a frenzy. So, what do you think? Have you let your baby/child cry it out? Do you believe the doctors are correct in telling parents to do this?

Answer 1

If she cries for a few minutes and then stops, then let her go. If she continues, then go to her. Can you imagine crying hysterically for hours and not have SOMEONE come to your aid? Even if they can't "fix" the problem, it's comforting to know someone is there.

I truly believe that this sort of abandonment can lead to issues later on.

And I'm not the kind of mother that rushes in every second in my children's lives. If they fall, I don't freak. I try to get them to solve their own problems.

With the colic, if left unattended, they just get worse and worse and it escalates until like you said, it's a full-on frenzy.

Good luck with that!

Answer 2

this is different for all children. If she has colic she will be in pain so no I don't think letting her cry is a good idea. Some babies however cry for no reason (not when very young but as they get older) I wouldn'y leave her to cry for lengthy periods of time but for a while my daughter would always cry unless someone was carrying her. Obviously that wasn't always possible. If I was having a quick shower or making her bottle I would let her cry for a short while until I was done

Answer 3

I personally don't believe in the cry it out method because I have read too many studies about how it causes attachment disorders later in life. I can't see taking that kind of chance with your child. And if you do let her cry it out you still aren't going to get any sleep because anyone with a heart knows its tear-jerking to hear a little one cry. My recommendations would be when she wakes in the night-say nothing-don't talk to her at all, just pick her up, give her a bottle of water, and put her back to sleep--and no lights on-maybe just a nightlight. She is old enough now that water won't hurt her tummy and isn't all that appetizing. One more thing, feed her a hearty snack right before putting her to bed at night. A few nights of this and the wakenings should become fewer and further between and eventually stop. Good luck to you!!

Answer 4

I think you're doing what is best. I think doctors should stick to giving health advice and not parenting advice. I have heard so many doctors give bad advice when it comes to disciplining children. I once heard a doctor advise a mother to spray Bianca in her 4 year olds mouth when she bit someone, as if the child was a dog!

The only time I feel a child should "cry it out" is when they are a toddler and throwing a temper tantrum.

Do what is best for your daughter. There is no reason you should let her cry it out when you can comfort her. Ask her doctor only about health concerns. Good luck!

Answer 5

It works for some. I have friends that swear by this method and others that wouldn't do it if their life depended on it. I think it all depends on what type of parent you want to be. For me personally, I feel like if I let my child "cry it out," then I am ignoring their needs. As babies, I never let my children cry it out, because this was the only way they could communicate with me. Now that they are older (4 &2) sometimes they do just need to cry. So I let them. I don't consider this "crying it out," however because by now, they know that I am always here for them if they need me. And now that they can understand language, they can hear me say (after all other options have failed), "I can see you need to get all your anger (or saddness or frustration) out. I'll be in the kitchen (or living room or here on the bed) if you need me. They usually scream for a minute or two and then come to me for a hug, and we talk about the problem.

Good luck to you! And good for you for thinking on your own!

Answer 6

My oldest had colic for about the first 3 months and I was told just to let him cry it out but I just could not do it. My husband would get upset for giving into it, saying I was spoiling him but it was just to hard to lay in there and hear him crying his little lungs out So I spent alot of time in the rocking chair with him or let him be in his swing that was the only think that would calm him down.

Answer 7

There's no doubt it's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but I totally believe in the "cry it out" method. With my son, the first night was 2 1/2 hours of blood curdling screaming. He vomited and actually passed out. I was terrified but I stuck it out. The 2nd night was 35 minutes, the third night was 11 minutes and with the exception of an occassional illness or bad dream, he has slept through the night ever since. He is now almost 4. I did it when he was about 5 months old. I'm sure it will take a little longer with an 8 month old but it'll still be worth it. The Ferber method is similar but a little less harsh since it allows you to go into the baby's room at regular intervals to comfort her. I had success with the "get it over with" method and never entered the room.

Try not to think of it as torturing your baby. Think of it as teaching her to rely on herself...a lesson that wil serve her well her entire life. Also, don't feel selfish for wanting some sleep for yourself! You'll be a better, more energetic, more patient mom when you get the proper rest.

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Wow, looks like I'm in the minority on this one!! I'm really surprised actually. I would have thought more people did this. All I can say is it worked for me in less than 3 days. My son shows no ill affects from being forced to "cry it out". We are very close, no attachment problems. The self-reliance he has learned continues to serve him well. He is bright, outgoing, and independant. I'm due again in 2 weeks and plan to do it again at about 5 months.

Answer 8

I let mine cry at night and he sleeps good now. He's only 2 months and sleeps from 9 pm to 8 am. every night, never wakes up inbetween anymore. He weighs almost 16 lbs though.

Answer 9

When my son gets like that I let him cry for a while then I hug him and give him kisses and start rocking him to sleep it works. It's up to you if you can't stand to let her cry for so long just hug her and hold her it will calm her down and she will be able to go to sleep. I don't like to let my babies cry themselves to sleep so usually I let them cry for a little while not more than 20 minutes.

Answer 10

I would never let my child cry it out for hours, but I have let them cry for up to 20 minutes before. Do you know she would cry for hours because you've let her cry that long before? If not, then she might not cry that long. Kids wear out pretty quickly from crying. If she is fed & dry I don't see any reason not to let her cry it out. Eventually she might start just sitting up and playing with her toys/mobile, or she will stop crying for so long at least.