Do you spank your kids?

Question

Were you spanked as a child and now you spank your kids? Do you find it a useful tool in disipline?
My answer- is not if I don't have to. I have only spanked my daughter a few times and that was because she has a bad habbit of running off in the middle of the parking lot or taking off in the middle of the store. One time she ran so far away from me when I was 7 months pregnant that I had to have other customers help me find her. I think spanking can only be used in extreme circumstances not for every day misbehaviors. Time out is effective. Honest answers please.

Answer 1

Yes, I have spanked my children. Our society would be in a lot better shape if parents still did that occassionally instead of always using the namby-pamby PC "discipline" that does very little to correct behavior. When you find one child choking another with a belt, time out just isn't going to cut it.

Answer 2

Your comments sounds as if you have already made up your mind, and not open to advice, but we do spank our children. Not for everything, and not out of anger- out of love. You must be consistant about it. I spank for things such as disobediance, bad attitudes, and lying. Nothing else. Not for any other thing. I've used time-outs before- that works if you are consistent- the key word!! Actually, whatever discipline you use, be consistant about it. The kid is smart, knows your boundaries, and how far you will go. We try to take care of it as soon as possible. If we are in public, and one of my children has disobeyed me about someting, all I say is "one". Very very quietly. If they do it again, I say "two". Very very quietly. They usually don't go past two because the minute we walk in the door, I say ok, how many did you get today? They answer the correct number. It means spankings. They tell me what they did wrong, so i know they remember ( I have a 4 and 5 year old by the way). Then I give them their one or two or even three on their bottom. They can cry when being spanked, but must not scream excessivly and drop to the floor making a scene with me. They will get one more if they do this. When the crying stops, they must say they are sorry for _____ (must say what they are sorry for). Then I grab them up, and hug them, and make them laugh. You'd be surprised how enjoyable they are to be around. I get compliments on how well-behaved my children are. I really can't count. I'm not bragging, but I've gained wisdom through older parents, and good child-training books.

Answer 3

I was spanked occasionally as a child. Now I am a teacher, and I am very comfortable with other means of punishment, so I don't spank my children. And I don't think parents should spank their children EVER!

First of all, spanking is what you do when you are angry. I think spanking is a horrible model of what to do when your angry. I know I don't want my children hitting when they are angry.

Second, spanking is a power thing. No way would you spank your children if they were stronger than you. It's only done because in our frustration we want our children to listen to us. Since we are stronger than them, spanking works.

Third, spanking does not do children any good. Through spanking, children learn to behave and control themselves out of fear. And not just fear, but fear of their own parents! Spanking humiliates children and doesn't teach them ways to get along in our society when they grow up. There are countless psychological reasons we should not spank our children.

Finally, for those parents who honestly believe that they do not spank out of anger, and that they spank when they are calm or the spanking is done at a seperate time of the misbehavior, then I have this to say: If you are giving yourself some time to calm yourself then why don't you use that time to figure out a more effective consequence for your child's misbehavior? Spanking is too generic anyway. The most effective consequences are the ones that have personal significance. For example, my son hated to hold my hand at a certain age, so if he was even close to wandering in the parking lot, I'd make him hold my hand for the next five trips to the grocery store. He never wandered away again.

Answer 4

I was definitely spanked as a child but it bordered on abuse. My mom had to come in and stop by step dad several times because he wouldn't stop. He spanked for reasons to this I don't understand. He spanked me so much (with the belt, fly swatter or whatever he could get his hands on but never his hand directly - and my pants had to be pulled down) that it only made me frightened of him. That's not the effect it should give. It made me want to run away in the worst way.

NOW, I believe in spanking but only when it's a last resort and it only works when the children are younger. I have 10 year twins and having things taken away now at their age is much more effective. I have to tell you that when my little boy was 3 and he was into touching the electrical sockets, it was an automatic slap on the hand. One time he was sitting next to me and touched the electrical socket. I immediately said "no" in "that tone" and he automatically stuck his hand out to get slapped. He knew it was wrong. It didn't happen after that. The times I've spanked the children has been when they were completely defiant and ignoring me. I would only use my hand and spank them 1-2 times on their rear. It was effective enough to get the message across and then I would put them in their room to "think about" what happened. After a few minutes I would go in there and talk with them about the situation and then it would be over when we were done talking about it. They are great kids and very rarely get into trouble at this point like they used to.

Spanking works if it's used only when absolutely necessary and only to get their attention that they are doing something wrong.

Answer 5

I was a spanked child and I'm glad that my dad cared enough to make sure I was raised properly. My dad only spanked when I had really pushed it such as after he told me over and over not to do something. I spank my daughter as well. But she knows that she gets spanked if she doesn't listen and i tell her to do something or not to do something over and over. My everyday discipline is usually a time out and I also use 1-2-3, I give her choices like at bedtime and she's come down for the second time looking for more hugs and kisses. I'll say You need to go to bed. Do you want to do it the easy way or the hard way? Easy way is that she goes upstairs and doesn't come down for the rest of the night or the hard way is that she gets her butt spanked and then she goes to bed. She ALWAYS picks the easy way. I find spanking to be a very useful tool in discipline and i highly disagree with anyone who doesn't.

Answer 6

I was spanked as a kid and I have no memory of it being traumatic or that it made me more likely to hit others.

I spank my son if he makes a very bad choice that we've discussed many times before (e.g., going out into the street, wandering away from me in a public place, etc.) as a means to get through to him. I spank only on the clothed bottom and only with an open hand and no more than 2 swats.

Time out doesn't work for all children. "Experts" can cite study after study, but spanking doesn't cause children to hit others.

This is a very loaded question that causes much argument and animosity among adults... I can't wait to see what others have to say.

Answer 7

I was spanked as a child but We do not spank our daughter we just look at her and spat her hand and point to whatever she did and tell her "no-no don't touch" and she crys for a little while and then she is right back to playing again like she never did anything wrong! we have not yet spnked her but like you said if it comes right down to it when she does something really wrong then we will spank her but right she is only 16 months old and does not really understand what is wrong and what is right.

Answer 8

I was spanked growing up and to be honest when I was 18 and said damn in front of my mom she smacked me in the face. (now 41) I spanked my boys when they were little and I am certain they will do the same to their children. (grandma of a 9 mth old) and she gets her hands and thigh swatted, just enough to get her attention.
When spanking was taken out of the schools, look at what little to no respect the majority of the teens have to the adults at this day and time.
So I feel spanking is a useful tool, but keep in mind there is a difference from spanking and beating a child too.

Answer 9

I was spanked as a child, as well as my husband. We find that spanking is a good way to discipline, but it is not the only tool we use. We will take away privileges like TV watching or using a toy he likes. It works wonders. My husband was in the Army, so he will use things like push-ups and jumping jacks as a punishment, too.

Answer 10

I was spanked as a child by my father. I respected the man and never did anything stupid growing up like drugs or drinking because I knew my father would kill me and I would disappoint him. I wish my children had the same respect as i did growing up. I would never talk back to my parents. My 10 year old son does to me often. society plays a large part in the dis-functional children because everyone wants to blame someone or something for the child's behavior instead of letting them take responsibility for their actions. Excuses; they are tired, I'm a single parent or they have no father figure, I get upset when parents blame teachers and want to confront the teacher,blaming them. You are not teaching your child respect at all. I think spanking is fine but you want to let your child take responsibility for their actions and the punishment should fit the crime.