what are some pet jokes that u know.?

Answer 1

Farting Dog

A man went to pick up his date but he was having some trouble with his flatulence system, in other words he couldn't stop farting.

So when he had to wait for the young woman to get ready for the date he sat on the couch, in the same room as her parents.

He let out just a little fart, just when the dog hopped onto the couch with him, and figured that the parents would think it was the dog.

Every time he farted the young girl's parents told the dog to get off the couch. The dog ignored the words of the parents.

He felt pretty safe, with the dog staying next to him, so the man kept going.

Finally he really let a big one rip.

The father looked ath the dog and said, "Rover you had better get off the couch before that guy s-h-i-t-s on you!"

Answer 2

Ben
37 seconds ago

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Why don't fish play tennis?
They are afraid of the net!

rumilb
16 seconds ago

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umm what snake is really good at math?

an adder!

..i guess it only works if youre a snake lover

Namon
2 seconds ago

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What's black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?

Answer: a doberman
or a rottwieller
Open questions in Jokes & Riddles

* what are some pet jokes that u know.?
* I have a question about a joke I heard last night.?
* Practical Joke Ideas?
* Will you tell me a joke (for 10points)?

Resolved questions in Jokes & Riddles

* Two guys walk into a bar the third one ducks...get it?
* Can anyone tell me what does it mean???
* if guys wore bras, what size would they mostly be/?
* Fun Bridge Puzzle?

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Answer 3

10 things you didn't know about your cat

Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about
ten.

Cats do not have a collarbone, which allows them to fit through any opening
the size of their head.

Their field of vision doesn't extend directly below their nose, that's why
it's sometimes hard for cats to find tit-bits on the floor.

Meowing is reserved for humans. A cat will almost never meow at another
cat.

A frightened cat can run at speeds of up to 31 mph, slightly faster than a
human sprinter.

A group of cats is called a clowder.

Cats do not see themselves as little people but see us as big cats. This
influences their behaviour.

Like humans, cats can be either left or right-pawed.

Studies have shown that cats have better memories than dogs. A dog's memory
lasts 5 minutes while a cat's memory lasts up to 16 hours!

Cats purr at 26 cycles per second, this is the same pace as an idling
diesel engine.

Answer 4

A man runs into the vet clinic with his dog. The doctor says "What seems to be the problem?" The man, frantic, says, "Well, he just isn't acting right, Doc. Can you do something for him?" At this point, a cat comes sauntering into the room. The cat walks in a circle around the dog, checking him out. "Oh, don't mind him, that's my cat", says the doctor. "Anyway, your dog seems to be okay now. Take these pills and give them to him once a day. Call if you have any more problems."

Well, the dog recovered nicely. A few days later, the man receives the vet's bill in the mail. $10.00 for medicine, $450.00 for lab tests.

The man rushes to the phone-calls the doctor.

"Doctor! This bill! I'm sure you didn't run any lab tests! I don't understand! What's the $450.00 for??"

The doctor replies, "Oh, sure, that's for the cat scan."

Answer 5

Sounds of the Wild
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

Mother: "What does the cow say?"

Child: "Moo!"

Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"

Child: "Meow."

Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."

Answer 6

A woman walks into a bar with her cat and asks for a drink. The bartender replies " And what can I get for the dog?" She smiles "Actually it's a cat." He smiles back: "I was talking to the cat."

Answer 7

The Hunting Dog
Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there."

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too."

So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg.

Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!"

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more f u c k i n g ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

Answer 8

A bear and a rabbit were taking a dump in the woods. The bear looked over to the rabbit and asked: "Mr. Rabbit, do you ever have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit replied: "Why no, Mr. Bear, I most certainly do not."
So the bear wiped his butt with the rabbit.

Answer 9

What's black and tan and looks good on a lawyer?

Answer: a doberman
or a rottwieller

Answer 10

what do u call a snail on a ship? a snailer!

i guess u'd like this 1 if u like snails.