Do you think that it's ok to spank your children?

Question

a lot of parents spank their children but lets face it, spanking is just another name for hitting. but for some reason spanking is considered ok while hitting isn't. both are a way of diciplining a child and both cause pain. Are parent who spank just abusive parents with a different lable?

also for those who think it's ok to spank, then is it ok to hit your child, slap them across the face, ect.?

Answer 1

Spanking and hitting is the same. They are both abuse. Thank God someone feels like I do. Spanking only teaches a child how to hurt others when they want them to comply. It's not okay for your spouse to hit you when you "misbehave." It should be the same for children. They need to be respected as humans. I was never spanked by my parents and I turned out fine. A lot of my cousins were spanked and it didn't work for them-one is a deadbeat dad, one is in jail, several got into drugs, or got pregnant as teenagers. Spanking did not teach them. I have taught preschool for over 12 years and never hurt a child. Parents like my classroom, there's a waiting list to get in, my students are respectful and happy. There are so many better way to discipline a child without spanking. Parents need to educate themselves and stop the abuse! 90% of American parents spank! It's horrible!

Answer 2

I am a 17 year old kid. I am all for spanking children. I was spanked with a belt (leather with metal beads) and i never made those mistakes again. Children need to be put in their place. when they are young they dont know what is right and wrong and nothing is a better reminder than knowing that if they do somthing wrong they will be punished and not a usless timeout. When your child is a tennager they get cocky and think that they know more. Once again this cannot be allowed when you allow it or only give a slap on the wrist your kid ends up on drugs with a kid or in jail. I know from experience that a Kid needs to be slapped around every know and then. Young children should be spanked teenages should be spanked too, but if they take things to far i think slapping them in the face is a good idea. however hitting them full fist is not a good plan usually. Abuse is when you break bones or beat them for minor reason or no reason at all.

Answer 3

I dont hit or spank my three year old as I have no need to. However I know there is a difference and spanking does not always hurt. It can be the shock that stops children from repeating an action that is followed by a spank. I think it is up to parent to decide if they want to spank their kids.
If they abusing them then thats different and obviously something needs to be done to stop them
And to ask is it ok to slap a chil on the face is just not worth answering. Do YOU think thats ok? Is spanking a childs bottom reall comparable to slapping them in the face? No its not. Try to put you argument across in a calm and mature way and people might respect your opinions a bit more

Answer 4

Yes it is.

Children need to know that in the real world, there are always consequences for your action and they are negative if you do something wrong. Its a life long lesson and you have to start teaching it young. The only way you can give negative reinforcement to a toddler is by spanking. Time outs and taking way things are not strong enough for really bad actions or dangerous actions. When they are older, they will understand time outs and taking away previlges that are important to them. If you did the spanking right they wont need it past toddlerhood. But once in a while when they do something absolutely unacceptable a spanking will remind them.

Too many kids these days dont get that negative reinforcement and thats why they think they can get away with anything. When they grow up they realise you cant get away with anything and end up having life troubles. So you are being a good parent with this kind of "reality parenting" and discipline. Under this context i think its not just ok but impertive to use this discipline for the betterment of your child's future.

Too many parents also give it up because it breaks their hearts. No loving parent likes to give that punishment but smart ones have the long run in mind and their children in mind. Its not about us or how it makes us feel, its for the children and for them we should do it.

Answer 5

I'm not opposed to physical discipline. I am opposed to it's being poorly applied. I think parent to child conflict escalates when I care enough about my daughters to find alternative ways of instruction.communication is poor. I don't like the "spare the rod spoil the child" attitudes in the bible or not. There are creative ways one can discipline children but they should all encourage a discourse. If a child won't behave in a store ideally you let them know the expected behavior and misbehavior results in suspension of that privilege. If a foundational understanding isn't established at a young age there will be difficult issues for the parent and child to resolve. Using physical methods as they get older is counter productive and only serves to escalate violence. I think labeling parents who spank as abusive is to blur the reality of what child abuse really is. There is a difference between applying tools to discipline poorly and abusing a child. There are other factors single parents have a tougher job, more stress and fewer supports. If you work with children a parent attempting to discipline a child by spanking is different then a parent beating a child. I don't think taking off a belt and spanking a child is ever an effective tool for learning anything but humiliation and rage. I do think at an early age a firm spank on the *** helps send a message but if there isn't follow up it's all pointless. The best discipline tools in the world are useless if you can't assist a child in understanding the reasons behind the punishment. It can't be done in anger and that's the bigger challenge. Another saying I find abhorrent is "you must break the will of the child". The most effective tool against misbehavior is communication and understanding that a child is not your clone. In my view the worst case scenario's happen when parents don't choose their battles carefully. Spanking a child for not eating his carrots is abusive and it paints the parent in the corner. What method will you use when the child shoplifts a piece of candy or skips school ? Parenting is often about a power struggle between child and adult it's the adults responsibility to deescalate that struggle. When I've conflict with my daughters 95% of what I do is deescalation. There are things that aid in that process and things the hinder in that process. I don't find yelling or spanking effective tools but I don't consider those who use them within limits abusive.

Let me add while a swat isn't what I consider abuse I in no way support slapping a child. That's abuse as well as assaulting behavior. I like the comment about Native Americans leading by example. It's the parents responsibility to set the example. If I see a parent slapping a child in public with no shame I wonder what they do privately. Before I had children myself I saw a woman grab her teenage daughters larynx to gain control over her I was shocked. It showed on my face and she offered justifications but I was stunned silent as was my wife at the time. The look on the girls face was humiliated I recall that. At the time being young and this woman an acquaintance I did nothing older and wiser now I would have said something. I would have said something if only to let the child know we don't all support that behavior.

Answer 6

I think it's OK to spank, but not hard. A light spanking that doesn't hurt and does not leave a mark on the butt coupled with verbal correction is good. It is not physical abuse and gets the point across to young children. It is never OK to intentionally hurt a child, and there is a difference between a corrective pat on the butt and a smack across the face.

Answer 7

I think that the way a parent chooses to discipline their child is their own business.....There is a difference between spanking and beating...get it right.. The law doesn't frown upon people that spanks their child....Abuse would be if you were to spank your child using an object such as a belt, or something to that nature. We were given kids and we are the ones to decide how to discipline them.....so try not to preech to other people on what YOU think is right...we make those decisions ourselves

Answer 8

Spanking a child sends confusing messages to the child. Hitting and love are not compatible. I have had tremendous success with the "time out" method. I would never ever hit my child. I once squeezed his arm pretty hard when he misbehaved and I was suffering from PMS. He had a terrified look on his face as though I stopped loving him. I cried for days. I never want to see that look on his face again.

Answer 9

Everything in moderation is good! Nothing is worse than a child who has never been spanked for doing something that might have harmed them or someone else. The object lesson of a swat on the behind gets there attention when possibly life saving information needs to be passed on. For example: I told you not to stick paper clips in the outlets!!!!

Answer 10

My wife and I gave half-hearted attempts at spanking when our kids were little, because our parents spanked us, but we found that it broke our hearts and damaged our kids' trust in us. So, we found more intelligent ways to give negative reinforcement, and learned that positive reinforcement is really best.

Interestingly, it turns out that the Native Americans, the so-called savages, did not beat their kids or strike them in anger. The Indians taught by example-- so if the children were acting badly, the adults looked at themselves to see what they were doing wrong.