Is my girlfriend right or am I right?

Question

I had a problem with my girlfriend.. two cousins of mine who we are really close came to were i live and we went out together with my girlfriend.. they had not met my girlfriend before.. My cousins are like brothers to me, i am 21 and they are like 25, 27 years old and we grew up really close. One of my cousin likes to joke around around a lot.. When we were together he started making jokes about my girlfriend. I did not see anything offensive, to me he was just messing around like he always is. So when he said something i told my girfriend dont pay attention to him he is just joking around. I said something to him one of the times but no really seriously, just going on with him. My girlfriend says i did not stand up for her, that i should have done something about it. That just becuase they are my family they should not be saying anything like they did.. Is she right here? Should i have stopped them? I did not see anything offensive just he was joking? Like he always is with everyone.

Answer 1

Depends on what they were joking about...if they were teasing her about a sensitive area, continued to tease after she showed discomfort, or were sexually suggestive in a way that would make many females feel uncomfortable...then yes, it would have been nice for you to help change the subject and just get everyone's mind off the situation.

On the other hand, some girls are overly sensitive and unless the guys were raving about her, full of compliments, etc...she would take anything as offensive. If you find she is in this category...

run.

Answer 2

I would tell your cousins that she was a little sensitive, and while you know they were just playing... she takes things a little more literally (most girls do)
Then tell the girlfriend that you talked with the cousins, told them that you understand they were just playing around, but that around people that don't quite know their silly yet harmless personalities yet, they may want to ease it up a little.
The cousins may raz you a bit for the over sensitive girlfriend, just laugh along with them (without her knowledge).. but they'll get the point.
The girlfriend should feel better that you solved the problem after the damage was done only to prevent a scene at the moment, and that you have made sure they understand not to be so goofbally until they get to know people better (as to not unintentionally offend anyone)
Hope this helps... if not tell the girlfriend the next time the cousins are around you'll go without her since you know she cannot handle their strong personalities... either that or tell her to give it right back to the cousins... they will probably snip at each other for a brief moment, then you can interject and say to the cousins... "hey... she can give it just as much as you boys do" then laugh a little. She will be proud that you stood up for her, and the cousins will respond to her attitude of - be prepared boys, I'll give it twice as hard as you do.

Answer 3

Well If it was harmless joking then your right, If things was said that hurt her feeling or made you look bad then Yes you should have stopped him and said somthing. You know how you cousin is but your g/f does not. You might want to just let them get to know each other better.

Now to your g/f sometimes you have to chill and just laugh! Or work on some come backs if he says something about you have something ready for him.

Answer 4

She's right. Friends, family whatever even if they joke around with everyone this is their first time meeting and he should be sensitive to the fact that she may not like it. And you're the only one who knows both parties so you can be the one to mediate the awkward situation and say seriously but informally that he should really lay off. Your girlfriend probably felt like you didn't care that he was hurting her feelings and embarrassing her. So trying to stop it would probably make her realize that you do care.

Answer 5

It depends on what they were saying. Personally, I would only want a girlfriend with a sense of humor. If they were being offensive, it might be a reason to ask them to tone it down a bit. If she is bothered by it, you could tell them not to do it again. But you were not wrong to not "stand up" for her if they were not verbally attacking her. Without knowing what was said, I cannot make a judgement.

Answer 6

Maybe your cousin said something that offended your girlfriend. Or your girlfriend took something out of content. As a woman I know sometimes I take things the wrong way and I get mad at my husband if he doesn't back me up. Just tell your girlfriend next time if something is said that bothers her to let you know and you will tell your cousin to knock it off.

Answer 7

First, I want to preface my comment with the fact that I am overly sensitive. I don't see why your cousin had to make jokes about your girlfriend. He just met her, for heavens sake. While I don't know what was said, I think your girlfriend is right, that is if she means anything to you.

Answer 8

shouldnt matter who the person was, or if he is that way with everyone or not, she was offended and embarressed, if that happened to me, i would feel horrible, yes you should of stopped them, it's called dissrespect, what they were doing anyway, if they really wanted to respect you and the one you love they wouldnt of ever done that. She is right, sorry to say it, but you should tell your cousins to lay off, and start showing some respect, you should also say sorry to your girlfriend tell her that u didnt relize that she was hurt and that you hesitated to stop them because you didnt know how she felt, i'm a girl, i know how girls are.

Answer 9

well he obviously offended ur g/f, so i guess you maybe should had said something. you may have known what he was like but ur g/f having never met them did not, maybe next time you should have a quite word to ur cousin and tell him not to make too much fun of ur g/f, then tell ur g/f what he is like and too not pay too much attention to him in future. or you may end up in the middle of a major row between them all!

best of luck.

Answer 10

If he was joking and she was hurt, it wouldn't offend him if you told him that she was sensitive to what he was saying, and maybe he should back off a bit. Then everyone would be happy. Let him know she was hurt and to take it easy, and let her know he didn't mean to offend her, but you've talked to him (or will talk to him), and that you hope they can get along since no hurt was intended to begin with.