Should I be mad?

Question

My b/f keeps making plans with me, and then many times makes a last minute cancellation. It seems to always happen on a fri nite, and then I find he's at his favorite wateringhole with his guys. He and his friends say he loves me, but what does this action really say? What should I do?

Thanks everyone! There are so many great answers here that I won't be able to decide. Please vote! And just FYI, I don't mind that hes out w/friends, but he's diss'n me and calls too late for me to make other plans and ruins my nite out!

Answer 1

yes, you should be mad. however, not because he is hanging out with his friends. in their defense, they were there first and you must allow guy time just as he must allow girl time for you. the reason you should be mad is because he has no character to speak of in a relationship. it is NEVER ok to make plans and cancel at the last moment unless there is a dire emergency (someone is dead, in the hospital, on their way to a hospital). anything else should be communicated to the other party and them given the decision of whether it is ok to cancel.

when you set a date or an appointment you have agreed to give that time frame to the other person. it is no longer yours. you make a date with me, that time period belongs to me now. you offered it to me and i accepted. if you want to break that date, i'm cool, but you better call and tell me what the situation is and give me the opportunity to say ok, or no, i'd rather keep our date. that's my time, not yours. you gave it to me. it's my decision. you get two or three cancels on short notice without my input before you are crossed off the list permanently as someone i cannot trust or rely on.

trust and reliance are the most important aspects of a relationship. if you can't be trusted with the small areas of trust and reliability, you don't deserve to be trusted with the big ones. move on, girly. move on. then he can spend all his time with his friends he obviously cares more about.

Answer 2

Well, he needs space. Give it to him. If you want him to be everything to you and everywhere with you, you're going to smother him. Part of what makes him the person you like is that he has the friends he does which help him make the person he is.

If he's lying to you about what he's doing, that's lame. That should raise a red flag. Maybe you should go to him and say "hey, I know that you lied about this, and I'm not happy. If you need time to be with your friends, let's work something out. I understand that they're important to you, but you're important to me." I think that this might help him relax, and maybe he won't feel that he needs to lie to you. If you frame this whole thing in a "me or them" sort of way, you're just going to end up breaking up.

Good luck.

Answer 3

It says that he takes you for granted. That he is biding his time until someone better comes along. That you are not a big priority for him.
It also says that you are lacking in self-confidence and are emotionally needy and insecure. What should you do? Focus on your career and/or education, cut off contact with this sorry excuse for a boyfriend, and work on personal development (and getting some new friends). He is trap -- get out while you can!

Answer 4

Hi Jazzz:
Hey, I don't see anything wrong at all here.
Go find something else for yourself to
do on Friday nights. Don't you have
friends to enjoy?

Life is too short, because what I am
hearing is that your honey really,
really is trying to love you, and well,
life is short, and why should he give
up his fun time with his friends?
Just because he has you in his life?

This situation only spells breakup
or one unhappy guy.

So, love your honey on all the other
days. Give him a break all the time,
and trust me on this one, he will
be more full of honey loving when
he comes around to see you.

Luv
and thoughts,

Ava
p.s. He was honest, and the making plans
and breaking them. Well he was trying
to accomodate you with honest feelings,
but when guys want to hang out with the
guys they have fun and hey, makes him
a happier guy. Don't listen to so called
friends and their advise. You just spelled
out the situation clearly to us, and he
is just a guy in life having fun, and so
you go and have fun in your own way.
Don't let absolutely anyone ruin your
honey relationship....too many people
already out there with strange options
that only end up hurting.
And,
if on the underside of things, and he
ends up not working out for some
reason, well, you still have you,
and respect yourself. Go on, and don't
lower yourself to fighting.
I am sure everything , positive
everything will work out with
you guys. Call it a feeling.
I hear magic in this relationship,
but you have to 'listen' more to
your own young heart, then to
others hearts, hey!
luv

Answer 5

Listen, it sounds like he as good intentions but has a bit of a phobia to commitment. If you get mad it's not going to solve your problem. Just bluntly tell him that you're sick of him choosing his friends over you. If he doesn't change after that then tell him to take a hike. You deserve better anyway.

Answer 6

at first, do you be conscious of for a fact that he's stated you in a nasty way, and is your source completely good??? you be conscious of that a pair of lips will say something and perhaps, only perhaps somebody advised you some thing as a results of fact they be conscious of which you like this individual and that they desire to clutter that up for you. provide him the convenience, and refer to him on a private point to clean this decrease to rubble and pass on with what ought to in all probability be your dream guy. good luck

Answer 7

Ok simply ask whats going on and say youll always love him even if he tells the truth but who say thats the truth if he say i hate or im using or even im seeing someone else then say wa hoo FK's advice work i dump you

Answer 8

it just means that he wanted 2 spend time with u but his mind changed @ the last minute..he does love u tho...i also do the same thing 2 my bf,its not ittetional,it just happens like that,but it doesnt mean i dont love him any less,i just wana spend time with my friends or what ever...

Answer 9

That he's a life outside of the relationship....not a big deal...just tell him to try to mange the time between you and his guys and be honest about whenever he'd rather go out with them then you. Be mad that he wasn't honest...don't be mad that he wants to hang with his guys.

Answer 10

I think that you should talk to him about it and tell him how you feel and what you would like from him. Its kinda messed up that he cancels on you. If this continues after you talk to him about it break up with him.