Am I wrong to want a day to myself, away from kids?

Question

I stay home with 4 kids, and my hubby works long hours, so I basically have them to myself ALL the time. No help from grandparents/family either. Am I selfish for considering putting them in a daycare 1 day a week to have some time for me, or errands, shopping, etc.?? "I can't get a haircut, or shop for myself, I can hardly use the bathroom in private without a kid. Help

Ok, Jonny, No it's NOT the life I chose. I had to take in my sister's 2 kids because she was abusing them. So I didn't PLAN on having this many!!!

OK JENNIKA is obviously one of those parents whose kids will still be hanging off her **** when they're 30.

Answer 1

no its not wrong or selfish to want some time for youself!!!You need to have time for yourself and to do the things you want to!!!You should do it 2 times a week cause 1 day you will take to clean and do the laundry the other you need time for yourself to relax and have a quiet and peacefull day or time with your friends remember you r only human and not a machine so come on girl have a break in life you deserve it 110%%%

Answer 2

I hear ya, it is hard to stay home with the kids all day, every day. It is not even remotely selfish to want some time for yourself. A happy mom equals happy kids; a stressed mom equals stressed kids. Have you considered a "mother's helper" to come over during the day? If you are a member of a church, that is a good place to start looking. I have friends whose daughters are mother's helpers. They charge less than a babysitter, and their role is to visit the mom once or twice a week to help her around the house. She may play with the kids while you take a bath, help you fold laundry, accompany you to the grocery store so it's not so daunting, etc. It would be a lot cheaper than daycare, and then you can use the money you save to go on a real, nice date once a month with your husband.

If you really do need that time ALL to yourself, using a daycare is not selfish nor is it a bad idea. I think the hardest part will be finding one that has openings - in this area there is often a waiting period of at least three months to get your child in daycare, and you have four kids.

Good luck - I hope you get out soon alone!!!

Answer 3

You're not wrong at all. I am a stay at home Mom as well of three kids. I love it and I'm very glad I am able to have this choice. I know a lot of people don't have this option.

I think it would be good for you to have some time to yourself. And it would be good for your children as well. If you can spend some "sane" time by yourself, able to eat a lunch without attending to 4 others first, you'll be a more "centered" person.

I don't take a day away from the kids, but I do go once a month to play Bunko and even those 3 hours refreshes me.

In another month, I'll have all three kids in school. I can only imagine that I'm going to be even a better mother because of this. I am up at their school volunteering at least 3 hours out of the day, but I'll have some time for me. I can go do errands without getting 2 of them in and out of carseats even 10 minutes.

And what's this you are saying about using the bathroom in private? You mean that's an option? I haven't used the bathroom by myself since I was married...LOL.

Answer 4

Absolutely not! Sometimes being a good mom means you know that you need a little time for you....it makes us better parents because we have had a small break and can regain some energy so we have patience, etc. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to have a little time off now and again - plus, doing all those chores yourself with all the kids in toe is twice as hard and twice as tiring. My sister in law is a stay at home mom and she homeschools - so she is always with her children. Saturday when her husband is home, he watches the kids and gives her the morning to go shopping or rest. It really helps save her sanity. If that isn't an option for you- doing the day care idea sounds fine to me. You will get lots of opinions here - remember to do what feels right to you and what you are comfortable with. We all have different levels of what we can handle - doing what works for you and your family is the best decison, no matter what that decision is. Good luck!!

Answer 5

You need a break at least once a week, just a time for yourself to do what you want to do. This is not selfish at all and it should not even cross your mind that you are. Find a person you can trust to take care of your children, this can be in your home or in a daycare center, or private daycare center. The daycare center can take your children even if it is only once a week, you can drop them there from 6am and pick up at 6 pm. The children has many activities they can learn from. My advice is find a daycare center that has a good reputation.
Please whatever you do, do not think that you are selfish. Goodluck and have a good relaxing day

Answer 6

No, you are entitled to a day off and need some alone time or
else you will be burned out or get sick, then you won't be a help to
anyone. I feel sorry for you that you do not get some respite or
relief from parents, inlaws , sibblings or friends at least once in a
while. It sounds like you are a supermom to me. You and your
hubby also need alone time once in a while, so you can't afford not to get a sitter once in a while for that also. You should call the
nearest high school/trade school and see if there are kids in any
babysitting program or work program with kids that are available
to babysit at such and such a price per hour that are reliable and
maybe have some good references from the teachers .

Answer 7

Honestly, I don't think so. In fact, wanting to have some time just for yourself (and away from the kids) is 'healthy'. Healthy in a way that will actually have a breather from all the duties of being a mom and a housewife. To put your kids in a daycare 1 day in a week, so that you can have time for yourself and still do some errands, is basically 'okay' . Remember that by doing this (if ever), is stil prioritizing your kids' welfare and that your concern for them is much greater.

As a full-time mom, you are doing a great job. You shouldnt' feel guilty if you go ahead with your plan to just have a short time for yourself. Overall, it's still for your sanity and that by treating yourself with such little time for yourself, will do wonders in your life. You will come back home happier, content and very much eager to attend to your kids' needs.

So, do give yourself a break. You surely need it.

Answer 8

no it's not wrong in fact you doing that could make you more happy which in true makes your relationship better, and your children more happy. it doesn't make you a bad mother. In fact I only have 1 child and i am a stay at home mom, so my husband will take my son out at least 2X a month and I will get to take a long shower or take a bath, or sometimes I just go shopping alone!!! there is nothing wrong with it.
Next I think the fact that you took in your sisters children makes you a hero, and a wonderful person. if more family members are like you we would have less children in foster care. You are great person and great people deserve a brake!!

Answer 9

I know exactly how you feel! And if I could afford it I would definitely do exactly that. I can't get a haircut either, and the kids follow me into the bathroom. It is even worse for me now that my oldest has learned to read, because she is even over my shoulder reading! You go for it and don't feel even a little guilty, think how much more you can get done on errand day if you don't have to chase down four munchkins, or pull them in and out of car seats when you just need to run in for one item or to buy stamps or a quick trip into the bank? Enjoy the break! :)

Answer 10

I think you should as long as you have the means to do it. You have to have some time alone or you will go NUTS!! I am a stay at home Mom of three an I know how you feel. I feel very luck to have 2 grandmas who are more than glad to babysit. My husband and I try to get adult time once a week if not, then every other week, it really helps to be around some people over 11 sometimes!!! GO FOR IT!!!!!

Answer 11

I am in the same situation. I have found that putting the kids in daycare one day a week tremendously reduces my stress level and helps me keep my sanity. I think that it is a perfectly reasonably thing to do. Most people don't understand this, but I have been there. Just make sure that you have a licensed daycare facility and have some "alone time." GL