We splitted up because I am too young and playful and he is too possessive and jealous. Still we have strong feelings for each other. He asked me if I want to become "friends with benefits".
I like being wit him so much, yet I am not willing to settle down and give up my lifestyle. Should I do it? Will he be able to take it that we will be jst casual n physical?
2006-07-15 06:41:34 · 24 answers · asked by jenniepham0911 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Now we have come up with a new deal: open relationship. I have never tried this before, however it sounds feasible to me. I can go play and have all my fun and he will have no right to be jealous and possessive. When one of us cant take it no more, we'd call it off. What do you think?
2006-07-21 02:11:53 · update #1
Nope he is your ex for a reason and he will still be possessive and jealous.
2006-07-15 06:44:31 · answer #1 · answered by betterbegood_to_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like that is all he wanted from the beginning! I would let him get his benefits from other sources! It all depends on how much you like you. You've probably made up your mind already. But since he asked - rather than have a relationship with you - " can you be friends with benefits " he probably was never looking for a relationship - he just wants the benefits! If he truly doesn't agree or like the way you act - he wouldn't want the benefits either! But as long as he can get the benefits - he's willing to be around to get those - do you loose your personality then or something? It's up to you - people settle for less all the time!
2006-07-15 06:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by twinklecomfort 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends whether you want the "benefits". It sounds like he might not be able to handle only a casual and physical relationship with you, but you don't seem to have the same problem with him. If he offered it and you feel like you'll benefit from it, give it a shot, although he'll still probably be jealous and possessive.
2006-07-15 06:48:40 · answer #3 · answered by freespiritpassingthrough 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're way too good to be used like that. He dumped you, but he still wants to have sex with you? Tell him to move ON, 'game's over' and do the same yourself. Being 'casual and physical' with him will show him that YOU have no respect for YOURSELF or your body.
If he's 'possessive and jealous' he didn't love you, doesn't love you and does not trust you either. He's a control freak. You're WAY better off to move on now.
2006-07-15 06:48:01 · answer #4 · answered by fiddlesticks9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not!!!! Have you lost your ever-lovin mind???(okay, now that the shock factor has worn off me here LOL).....Let me just say:
First of all you need to be a friend to someone to even have any benefits, and this guy clearly has not been any kind of friend to you with his controlling and possessive behavior. I would definitely tell this guy to get lost. Well, maybe not so directly. But just not be available when he calls your cell or house phone, and if he comes over, tell him you were getting ready to leave so you'll see him later. If he tries to force his way in, call the police.
It's nice that you enjoy his company, but I would hang out with him around other people, where he is less likely to try and toy with your mind. It's not his business who you talk to, hang out with, or even sleep with. If you have lots of male friends, then he needs to understand that they come first(whether or not you are sleeping with one or all of them at different points in your relationship these men). If you aren't ready to settle down, then tell mr. control freak he needs to find someone else. He still wants some control over your life, and being a friend with benefits gives him that access.
Let him go. That's my best advice to you. There are plenty of men out there who are much better than him, trust me, I've been there before. Live and learn.
2006-07-15 06:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by Fiona70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's just using this to buy time and get you to come around. If the problem in the relationship was serious enough to break up over I'd end any type of physical relationship that would muddy things up.
Of course, I'm also an advocate for not having pre-marital sex either.
2006-07-15 06:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by Rick D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No friends or benefits! A possessive and jealous man is a dangerous one! Stay away from him!
2006-07-15 06:45:33 · answer #7 · answered by Retarded Dave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No if he's possessive and jealous it could lead to abuse.. When they are possessive they think they own you. so he poabally wouldn't want you with any one else whille he could have other girlfriends. The people that said yes are eiter crazy or did not read all your question.. you deserve better stay away
2006-07-15 06:45:46 · answer #8 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you take it? i think it's important that you ask yourself the question if you can live with that. will it matter to you 10, 20, 30 years from now that you had a "friends with benefit" with your ex?
if you get married and you have kids and they found out, will it be ok with you to tell them your story? will you not be ashamed?
if you can answer these, then i guess you will also know what to do.
i'm not pro or against it. but it's important that you will be comfortable with what you're about to do. in short, there should be No Regrets!. :)
2006-07-15 06:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by crimsonmoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think being friends with benefits has its ups and downs especially if you two were already in a relationship it is going to be tuff. I think you should either just stay friends or nothing at all i think thats the best way to handle it so no one gets hurt in the end.
2006-07-15 06:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by BRANDON D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋