2 year old started daycare 5 days ago but his screaming get worse everyday when i take him.HELP?

Question

Other kids that was also new is fine. They are a bit sad when dropped off but 2 min later the are happy and playing. Mine just kicks and screams when we stop at the school. How can i make it better? Now I cant turn my back and he will look for me and start screaming when im only in another room. He was a good eater now he is a picky one. he also throws more tantrums than usual. Help, i love him too bits but things are getting too much for me. he just doesnt stop whining....and i dont know how to help him and make things better. It feels as if i have lost all patience and i hate myself for that.I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

Okay, first off... it is TOTALLY NORMAL for a two year old to act this way. Seperation anxiety kicks in between 18 mo's and 30 mo's of age. To ease his anxiety, you need to remain calm and HAPPY (fake it). Talk calmly and quietly. Hand him over to the daycare provider. Tell him to "have a good day, mommy will pick you up after work". DO NOT LOOK BACK. And LEAVE promptly. If you are consistent with this he will stop throwing fits because THEY WILL NOT WORK FOR HIM. Toddlers are smart, if one method does not work for them, they move on to something else. But if he senses that YOU are at all hesitant about leaving him at daycare, he will push you to the limit. The big thing here is TO BE CONSISTENT. I cannot stress that enough! You need to remain calm and tell him "honey, that just doesn't work here anymore" and walk away when he has a fit. If he is destructive or hurting himself in this fit, then set up a focus chair. Tell him he must sit in this designated spot quietly for two minutes so that he can make better decisions on how to get what he wants without throwing a fit. Don't worry about the picky eating. He will eat when he is hungry. Keep feeding him as you normally do and eventually he will start eating again. JUST don't make a big deal out of it. As long as you remain calm happy and nonchalant about things, he will mellow out too. When he does push your buttons and tries your patience, take a break.... go sit on your front porch for a minute alone or take a bathroom break and chill out. Another idea is to get his father to be a part of this consistent discipline technique and have daddy take him out of the house to give you a break. :) Children are smart, if you take the power back from your child... he will be happier and calmer as a result. ((((((((hugs)))))))))

Answer 2

I am a 2 and 3 year old teacher and have taught many different ages. The majority of kids who have rough drop-offs like your son, only have them for 10 minutes tops. Sometimes they stop immediately after they know their parent is gone. I do however work in an amazing center, but I do assume in some centers, there could truly be a problem. You should first figure that out. If there is, find another center... if you must have your son in child care, pay extra for one that has great recommendations and is accredited. You do get what you pay for! If you find that the center is doing great and no real reason for a problem, stick it out. Make sure you prepare him daily and once inside the classroom, you tell him you love him and give him hugs and kisses and make SURE you tell him that you will be back. BE STRONG, make sure you have confidence and that he sees that. Do not linger, the longer you linger, the more hope he gets that you will not leave, making it harder for him when you do. Once he sees that there is a pattern and it doesn't change, and that you always come back for him, things will gradually change. He will feel more comfortable. Keep in mind though, that generally, he would rather be with you than away from you, so there is always some apprehensiveness.

Answer 3

I don't care what any child care worker says ... something is WRONG there!!! I am a mother of three and my two oldest attended daycare. The first daycare that I chose worked great. My girls were hesitant at first but everyday got easier. Then my youngest of the two started acting out, crying, kicking and screaming not wanting to go. Everyone told me that she did just fine after I left. My older daughter who was only 3 at the time told me different. She told me that my other daughter would cry a lot and they would get mad at her and she sat alone in a room for long periods of time screaming for her older sister. She also told me that they would swat her butt if she tried to find a place to sleep if it wasn't nap time yet. Lovely people. But, when I would go to pick them up the workers were all smiles and acted like my daughter was an angel. I quickly took them out of that daycare and since I was single at the time and had a demanding job I placed them in a different daycare. It was well known and highly recommended. They did great there for about 3 weeks and then my oldest daughter started acting out. I found out that a 5 year old boy was taking my daughter's clothes off and touching her with his fingers and his mouth. The boy admitted it and what upset me the most was that they were not being supervised! That boy probably learned that behavior from some other child or adult at the day care. I'm telling you I have had it with day cares!!! The employees of daycares don't love your child. It is a paycheck to them and although there are loving people who work in them there is usually a bad seed no matter which facility you take them to. I would try an at home care giver. They are usually more comfortable for the children and I've found they learn more and become better citizens. I've done a lot of research. Please take him out of the daycare! He's counting on you to protect him not feed him to the wolves. God Bless and Good Luck!

I just took a look at the other answers that were given and I am disgusted! Someone actually wants you to punish your child for acting out because of something that is out of his control...???!!! I understand the separation anxiety and yes it exists but it doesn't get worse unless there is a problem. It gets BETTER. Your child is communicating his feelings with you. Listen to him. If he were older he would be able to discuss what he is feeling but he is much to young to do so now. You know him, follow what your instincts are telling you.

Answer 4

I read a few of the answers on here and I don't agree with sneaking away because your child won't trust you. You need to tell him you will be back after work. I take two of three of my boys to daycare and at first my youngest son now 2 did not like it but after a week he was okay. I would tell him every morning that I would be back at 5:30. Even though he couldn't understand that because he was only 1yr, I still told him because I knew he would start to understand soon and he would build his trust.
If you think or feel like something is not right with this daycare, you are probably right! I took my middle son and oldest son to a daycare one day and when we pulled up everything looked nice and my kids were excited about staying but I just didn't feel GREAT about it. I couldn't place what was wrong, I didn't have a super bad feeling or I wouldn't have left them... it was just a different feeling. Anyway, they stayed and I went to work and when I came back to get them, my oldest said that kids were hitting him in the head with a basket ball and wouldn't quit. I asked him if he let a teacher know and he said there wasn't anybody out there with them! I was so mad!!! I asked him what other things they did and he said they ate breakfast, played outside, watched TV, ate lunch & watced TV till I got there. I was mad about that too because they sat in front of the TV all day. Needless to say they never went back!

Answer 5

I used to work at a daycare center, and it can take (what seems like) forever for a child to adjust. WHen you leave, is there any way to peek in, and see if anyone is trying to comfort him? That can make a big difference. Just try to reassure him and keep telling him that it will be OK. And that you will be there to get him, after snack, or whatever happens right before you are going to pick him up. If you go a little early, and stay and play with him for a few minutes, that can help a little too. I hope this helps some. Good luck.

Answer 6

You probably wont like this answer, but here it is anyways. Your child is in dire need of you and your physical presence. The best thing for you to do is actually stop taking the child to daycare. You would do more service and have a better relationship with your child if you were home with him during the day. You should look at a job that either allows you to work from home, or take a job at night while he is sleeping. Is the Dad at home? If so, tell the Dad that he need to spend evenings taking care of your son, and you will take care of him during the day. Your son's behavior is actually a sign that most parents ignore.
Parents today look at daycare as a quick fix to them both being able to maintain a wealthy lifestyle, but they ignore the fact that the child is the one who suffers. By being a Mom, you need to be aware that the safety of your child, as well as the proper raising of your child is your responsibility, not that of a complete stranger in a daycare. Daycares still have problems in reguards to the proper staffing levels, and they cazn't control all of the children at all times. I recently met a mother who removed her child from daycare due to her child being bitten by another child in such a severe manner that her child had bite marks on about 45% if the childs body. It was reported to the staff at the daycare, and they actually confessed that they never saw the biting going on, but yet the child would cry when the biting was going on. How did they miss that? The daycare was reported to the state, and closed down due to not meeting the proper staffing requirements.
Your son is suffering from seperation anxiety, and that is very normal. But there is no eal need for your child to be put through this.
If you are a single parent, I would like to advise you to think about moving in with your parents, or another family member that will help you willingly in this area. If your parents are stable and good people, I would suggest that you start by buttering up your Dad. Tell him that he was a great male role model for you as a child, and that you would really appreciate it if he could serve as a good male role model for your son. This will tug at dear old Dads heartstrings, and work well for you.
You need to remember that a job is just a job, and a child is a lot more important. Your role in the raising of that child is to keep your son safe at all costs, and to teach your son the proper ways in life. A daycare cant do that. Please think about becoming a stay at home Mom, or at least working when your son is sleeping. It will benefit the both of you in so many ways.

Answer 7

As a toddler teacher, this is normal..I have had children cry and fuss for weeks, it's tough on the parents, but given tlc, he will be ok..he's scared (hence the whining to you) kids don't know how much a provider will take, but he knows you're his mom and will take alot..the thing to do is this..when you are going to daycare, tell him in the car (matter of factly) "we're going to your school"..talk to him as you are dropping him in the room about the children that are there..don't seem upset or nervous even if you are, they pick up on it..make sure he sees you leave, after giving a quick kiss and hug, maybe ask a teacher to maybe hold him, or get him involved in an activity..hope this helps

Answer 8

Give it a little time, for some children it takes longer but he will soon realize that when you leave him you will come back again. He will soon be familiar with daycare staff and other children his age. At the end of the day, I want you to ask the staff how he was the whole day, have a conversation with them when you pick up your son. You can also call them during nap time and ask how your son was doing. Remember the staff are your friends not your enemy, they are there to have an open communication with you, take advantage of that. Give you son more time, more love.

Answer 9

It's totally normal. I've seen kids throw up at day care from the trauma. But those kids adjust fast and enjoy day care now.

Kids are tougher than you think. Your 2-year-old will go through a period of adjustment to get used to the new surroundings and people, but will eventually learn to like it. You need to be strong and tell him this is the way it's gonna be.

Answer 10

is this the first time he has had to be in a child care away from you? If it is, you'll have to understand that this is a big change for him. He's mad at you right now and that is why he acts up. Try explaining to him why he has to go to day care, and make sure he knows and feels that you love him. Try giving him his favorite toy to take with him when you are gone.