My girls attitude changes when she stay's at her dad's for the weekend? she becomes a little bi**!! Advice??

Question

my Daughter is 5, and me and her dad split 3 years ago, i have a new partner that i'm marrying, and who my daughter thinks the world of!! but the attitude she has when she returns from her dad is really annoying and upsetting, any idea's on how to deal with my daughter in the nice way, not the big bad mummy way!

please help!!

i say bit**, but she is generally lovely, it is a term? i feel that i have been judged by using this term. would Madam be preferred??

Answer 1

From experience...reacting impatiently only makes it worse. You may never know what's causing the emotional response so I wouldn't be upset if you try and can't get to the heart of the matter. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try. I'd start by asking her what she liked the most and least about her visit. Then, ease into the fact that you see a difference with her. She honestly may not be able to verbalize what she's feeling since she's only 5.

The one thing that will work long-term is to spend lots of extra time with her and don't speak negatively about the "other side" or her as a person (vs. her behavior). I don't think there's any magical equation besides building a strong relationship with her and setting limits so she knows her new behavior isn't acceptable at your house.

Answer 2

My DD was the same way when she was 4/5 after having sleep overs at my dad's and step-moms. She came back with a whole new personality. As in, "Who's this creature and what have you done with my daughter?"
Does her dad spoil her rotten when she's there? let her stay up late? watch any movies she wants?
Maybe she resents that she's being shuffled around.
She can't be mean to Daddy, so she saves it all for you, Mommy!
Make sure none of the "good stuff" happens (playdates, dessert, etc.) until the "bad stuff" (attitude) stops. When she cops an attitude in the car, cut the engine or go back home. Let her see you are serious. (pick something she cares about but you could care less about)
Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't understand your idea of being "nice" if your daughter is being a brat. You aren't her friend, you are her mother so deal with the situation like one. Find out from her what the problem is with her attitude. Ask her why she comes home like that and tell her it is not allowed. If dad is being an idiot and letting her get away with murder at his house, call him and tell him you both need to discuss this and work something out. Nip this in the bud now when she's 5 or else in a few years it will be hell to pay.

Answer 4

Well since you are split from your daughter's father, you probably don't have the greatest relationship with him and you probably don't think highly of him so whenever your daughter goes over there, and come back home, as soon as she starts getting a temper, your mind thinks it involves something with her dad because you don't really like him that much. So my advice it that when whe comes back from any where, weather it be froma beautiful vacation in Paris or from her father's house, you should just do your part as a parent and apply its involvements:parenting and teaching. After time, your job as an openminded parent and parenting will always pull through, always

Answer 5

1. Tell her bedtime stories every night, especially stories with moral values. You may focus on the value of filial piety most. If you are billingual, find chinese stories or stories that are not so common, so she'll be interested.

2. Bring her for outings and trips during weekends, not just shopping, but other activities, like going to the zoo, or the botanical garden. You can ask your new partner to come along, to form a better relationship. He does not need to interact much to the girl at first, just let your child be familiar with his presence.

3. Hug her often and tell her that you love her. Praise her when she does something good.

Answer 6

Well first you need to find out what is going on that you don't know when she is not with you. Keep better track of the activities that she does when she is with her father. Maybe he is saying bad things about you and at 5 he can teach her to recent you, and then she becomes distant from you and your new found happiness. He may be jealous, and that is easily picked up by kids of any age. So the answer may be to find out what is really going on while she is with her father and discuss a plan to ensure this doesn't continue, and everyone ends of somewhat happy. Good luck.

Answer 7

i am in the same situation right now with my 10 yr old. when she comes back from being with her dad she has a bad attitude towards me and my boyfriend, i sat her down and talked to her, and i even had her dad talk to her. I told her that her attitude had better change because if she wants to act like that then she can live with him, that seemed to help alittle, she stops herself more now before her attitude gets to bad. but she is also older, try having her father sit and talk to her and tell her that her attitude is unexceptable.

Answer 8

Yeah, let's start by learning to not call your 5 year old daughter a bi***!!! That is not nice at all and you should NOT call your daughter that, I don't care how mean she is!

Answer 9

It's because of the transition between the two households. I'm guessing her father's house is very different from yours. Talk to her father to see what he can do. Who knows, maybe she does the same thing when she gets over there???

Answer 10

talk to her dad, what she will see is that mummy does all the everyday things eg. school runs, set bedtimes not too many sweets etc and because she only sees her dad at a weekend its all fun fun fun