Is it okay to paint my 4 year old son's nails if he asks?

Question

I painted my nails with my 2 year old daughter for a wedding. My son has been asking ever since then if I would paint his nails. I gently would try to distract him and put it off: "Let's finish our art project 1st and then we'll do it." (Then when art project is done, he's forgotten about it.) Well, finally, he climbed up into the cabinet and brought me the nail polish! So I painted them. Now my husband is mad and is making fun of him and telling him he won't be seen in public with him. Should I have painted my son's nails? Is it okay for my husband to make my son feel bad about this?

Answer 1

My own son wanted his painted when his sister got them done. I warned him that it was usually a "girl" thing and then did it! His father acted with disgust--just said "that's not what boys do, do you see me with nail polish?" but then never mentioned it again. Any time he was interested in it after that I would do his toes. After about 2 months he became totally disinterested in it.

I have come to trust my husband's take on this sort of thing, he is otherwise very loving and other than the one comment didn't act any differently towards him. Warn you husband not to make too big a deal because the kid will want his nails painted every time he really wants to get his Dad's goat!

Answer 2

I think that is a really good question. I am not sure that I can be of any help because it can be a very touchy subject. My opinion is that maybe you should explain to your son that only girls polish their nails and that little boys don't. He may or may not understand.
Try this instead....... Tell him that when you polish your daughters nails that you will put football paint under his eyes for him. I think that he would maybe like that better. Explain to him that is what all the big strong ball players do.

As for your husband, he should never be embarrased of his own child. I think that he should just laugh it off and maybe try and get your son into some other activities. It sounds like your son just wants to be like you. Maybe he should want to be like his dad too.

Answer 3

Sometimes little kids want certain things, but you've got to say no. Tell him why: boys don't paint their nails (unless you want the kid to be a goth or punk band artist, etc.). However, your husband should not be treating your son like that either; it's not like your son is trying to be a crossdresser or anything. He just doesn't know any better. If your husband treats your son like that often, your son may had adequacy issues when he gets older. I think that it was okay of you to do what your son requested, but you've got to learn to say no as well. It's something that's harmless because he doesn't understand, and he'll probably grow out of having his nails painted unless he becomes gothic...in that case, you'd best stock up on black and silver nail polish. Nonetheless, it is completely inappropriate of your husband to treat a person like this, especially his own son.

Answer 4

why not? And if you say no and make a big issue out of it, the more a 4 year old is going to want to do that and other things like that. I have a 4 year old boy..no I do not encourage him to do things, but I am a single mom...he sees me put on makeup, do my nails, etc. Sometimes he plays with my blush, puts on my shoes. I think whoever said put on clear polish had a good idea. People these days have such complexes! Your son is just at an age where he is identifying between being male and female. He hardly even knows what the difference is.

Answer 5

I say go ahead. I personally think its wrong to tell young children that they cant do something just because they are a boy or a girl. Would you tell your daughter that she cant play with cars because its what boys do?
My little cousin, who was raised by a single mother and had a younger sister, asked the same thing when he was four. His mom painted his toenails instead and he loved it. She did warn him that he may get teased because usually only girls paint their nails, but he didnt care. After a while he realized that none of the men in our family painted their nails and he didnt want color anymore, but he did ask for clear. Its totally normal and healthy for him to be curious. He wont become gay because of it, in fact he will be more secure in himself as a young man if you let him express himself, unlike his father.
Your husband is bordering on abuse with his words to his poor young son. How cruel of him to be so mean to a child.
Your husband is telling your son, "I will only love you if you do things I approve of."
That is something you should be worried about, not whether or not you paint your sons nails.
Big deal. There are so many other important things to be worried about in the world.
Dont sweat it!!!

Answer 6

I think what you did is ok. Your husband is making it worse by rejecting him. As well, he has made a simple thing like nail polish into "forbidden fruit" which will be more attractive to your son.

My son liked to fool around with my high heels when he was small, but I am happy to report he quickly outgrew (in about a month) the novelty.

If your husband is extremely uptight you could maybe compromise on clear polish for now, until your son satisfies his curiosity.

Answer 7

I have three kids, two daughters and one son. The son always wanted to have his nails painted like his sisters.

So we did. But just his toenails...and that was fine with him. And we did dark blue. (Very manly, LOL).

He stopped wanting ANYTHING to do with girls and girl stuff when he was 4.

Some men just aren't comfortable with it all - they think it'll make them look like an ineffective father or something. It's not ok for your husband to make him feel bad about this.

This phase will probably pass. But in the meantime, there's no reason to make your son feel rejected.

Answer 8

If it's okay to paint a 2 year old girl's then it's okay to paint a 4 year old boy's. (Personally I think 2 is too young to be dolling up your little girl but that's not the point.) I say paint his little nails. I'd choose a "manly" color like green, blue, black, brown, etc. Your husband shouldn't tease him for it either. Obviously he's not too secure in his manhood.

Answer 9

No! Do not feel bad about it! Your son is four for pete's sake! This has nothing to do with his sexuality (probably your husbands concern). He's not gay- he's four. If the pink nail polish is the concern, why not buy clear nail polish and do his nails all the time if he wants. And remind your husband it's called a "man"icure :)

Answer 10

Yes, it's perfectly OK.
Your son is just wanting to get in on the action.
Your husband needs to grow up. His over reaction is an indication of how uncomfortable he is with his own manhood. Ask him what it is he's so afraid of.

Rockers, actors etc all occasionally wear make-up and or polish.
Men's make-up and personal care products is one of the fastest growing businesses in the world today.