When is the appropriate time at a funeral to tell the son of the deceased what a jerk his father was?

Question

Also that he is burning in hell?

Answer 1

Just bite your tongue and never say a word. When my grandfather died I had to stand there and listen to everyone say what a great man he was. Little did they know he treated his family like dirt and there aren't too many of us in the immediate family. Just me, my dad and sister. To this day I still have people telling me how great he was. I just smile and say "Thank You" or "Yes he was". Starting an argument over a dead person is a waste of precious breath and time. So, just Bite the Tongue!!!!! if you don't have anything nice to say. Some things are better left unsaid than done.

Answer 2

You know what? You don't really want an answer, so let me tell you a funeral story. Honestly, this is completely true!

My mother's step-father died three days before my 16th birthday. I felt terrible. I loved him so much. He was so much fun. He was a printer and would print my little stories for me. Then he would add a little "biography of the author" at the end... always some glowing little ditty about how cute I was and how I was his granddaughter.

Anyway, I went to the funeral to say goodbye. As I was crying in a room away from the casket, a man came up to me and started talking about how my Grandpa would be better off now that he was gone. I looked up and almost died. There was my grandfather! Standing right in front of me! Apparently the brother that I had heard about before but never met was Grandpa Bob's identical twin!

Well, nothing to help you with your problem, but I hope I cheered you up a bit.

How about you carry a note in your pocket about this guy you didn't like and when you die you can carry it to your grave? It's likely his family already knows.

Answer 3

Emotions being rather high at a funeral for a parent... I think it might be safer for you to wait until well after the funeral... a year or 2 might be about right... THEN you can tell the kid that his dad was a jerk... and if the old man really WAS a jerk... the kid probably will agree with you by then.

Answer 4

If you dislike the man that much you should not be at the funeral to begin with.

Are you going to the funeral any way for the sake of his son? Then why would you want to worsen an already sad occasion?

Don't disrespect a funeral. End of story.

Answer 5

There is no proper time, before, after or during the service. It would serve no purpose to ever make a comment like that. Regardless of what you think, leave the survivors with whatever memory that choose to have about somebody that they loved. You sound like an unbalanced person, was the man's death not enough for you?

Answer 6

Never.

Feel free to secretly gloat, but realize that by even thinking these thoughts, you are also damning yourself, so odds are you'll be in the flaming pit next to the guy.

Better yet, just stay home and don't attend the funeral. I'm sure nobody will notice your absence.

Answer 7

NEVER. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Maybe he was a jerk, but you would be an even bigger jerk if you upset his family at his funeral. Some things just don't need to be said. Ever.

Answer 8

Etiquette dictates that it is neither proper or acceptable to say to the son what you think of the father. Your personal opinion of the deceased does not matter.

Answer 9

10 years later? =X

maybe when the son has come to terms with the death of the deceased,i think

Answer 10

Just pin a note to the corpse. The son will find it right before they close the lid.