?????
2006-07-15 03:32:22 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hi everyone! I am Shane's Girlfriend and I would like to answer this question....but first let me explain....
I do love his kids VERY much! He has two boys ages 5 and 10 and they are very sweet and loving children. The only problem is that the oldest told Shane that he hates me(the youngest one adores me). I have been nothing but loving and kind to the kids but the oldest is having a hard time adjusting to our relationship. I understand that it is hard to please a ten year old. The reason he dislikes me is that he feels I am cutting into his and Shane's relationship and also Shane's mom (which he lives with) loves to bad mouth me in front of the kids. My solution was to give Shane and his sons some quality time together. Shane took this as me not wanting to spend time with them. I do love his kids and I am a very loving and kind role model to both boys. Shane expects me to be a step mother...but he needs to consider that I am 24 (he is 35) and that I am all new to the kid situation (my first relationship involving children) AND that it takes time for both the children and adults to adjust to a fairly new relationship. I do love Shane and his children and I try very hard to make everything happy and wonderful.
So what do you guys think????
2006-07-15 19:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by LenaRose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think she's required to love your kids, but it would be nice if she did, if you have been with her for a long time and are in a committed relationship. You have to decide who is more important to you, her or your kids. If they absolutely don't get along, break up with her. You can't break up with your kids. On the other hand, are they deliberately acting like little monsters around her? Check their behavior. They could be out of line. If you are serious about this girl and want to have a life with her and the kids are a problem, get family counseling. Good luck to you.
2006-07-15 10:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by kitten lover3 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a good situation Shane. How can you have a relationship with her? Your children are a huge part of your life and if she does not like your kids then there is a huge part of your life she does not like. Situations like this just get worse and you do not want to be put in the situation where you have to choose between your children and her. If she absolutely cannot get alone with your children you will have to end the relationship.
2006-07-15 10:48:11 · answer #3 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Make sure she swallows" is my friend's answer here (he doesn't have a Yahoo! account).
How long have you been going out? Does she hate your kids, or simply not thrilled by them? She's going out with you, not the kids, give her time.
Also - 90% of kids are brats today - especially at home in front of strangers. Are your kids well behaved? Look at your kids through your girlfriend's eyes, are they likeable?
I assume you wouldn't get along with a person who hated kids and small animals. Give her time, give your kids time, and concentrate if she is right for you. If she is, the kids thing will work out.
" ... but make sure she swallows".
(My friend insisted that's the best advice.)
Good luck.
2006-07-15 10:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by robabard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to be more specific. How many kids, how old are they, how old is your girlfriend, and how long have you been seeing her..... just to start.
How can you expect her to love your kids? Personally, I hate most people's kids.
2006-07-15 10:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by Guppy Geek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plain and simple. you don't deal with her at all. It's not fair to the kids. Trust me, you sit back and wait and you will meet someone that loves your children as her own. Kids can feel when they are not loved, or if they are disliked, and it can scar them horibly
2006-07-15 10:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by Crazymomo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her. I mean your kids are a part of you and if she doesn't like the kids then say peace out
2006-07-15 10:47:47 · answer #7 · answered by cal-p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop her like a hot potatoe, tell her that you and the kids come as a package deal
2006-07-15 10:36:51 · answer #8 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no choice. Your KIDS are your number one priority. Dump her. and don't fall for her crap when she says she'll try harder. She can't learn to love them. She either does or she doesn't. She doesn't and you can not have her as a role model for them.
2006-07-15 10:39:49 · answer #9 · answered by mslorikoch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant expect her to love them right away. if she shows some effort that she tries to be nice, then give the woman a chance. but if she acts like cruella deville, dump her
2006-07-15 10:39:11 · answer #10 · answered by DJ Alex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋