CHRISTIANS: How can I help someone who is spiritually confused?

Question

She also do drugs and witchcraft. I have a strong, good relationship with that person, but every time I try to talk about faith, she refuses to listen. She says I'm imposing my religion on her; she doesn't have a religion, though, she's very confused. I have loved this person, and never judged her, in fact, I've had fun with her, dancing to her music and watching her movies, both morally questionable. Maybe I've ruined my testimony. I wonder how I could ever share my faith with them... I don't know where to start....Do you have any ideas???

Answer 1

I think there are some good points in this thread.

As far as associating with her, it's not as easy as "withdrawing from the relationship in order to set a godly example." While you want to keep yourself locked into God, withdrawal is usually not a good solution and just builds walls and drives people further away.

Jesus did not withdraw from the world. In fact, ironically, he spent more of his time with the rejects of society -- those considered by the religious to be the sinners. He actually spent so much time with them that the religious people were condemning him for it.

You cannot love someone you do not spend any time with or interract with somehow.

What I find interesting is that she is still your friend, although she's said that you have imposed your religion on her in some situations. For her to stick with you means she actually does like you and wants to be your friend; she hasn't cut you out of her life. There is something about you she values, and I hope there are things about her that you value.

She's obviously not much into being "preached" to, though. The fact she has a drug issue would reinforce that, since denial and pushing people away are common behaviors in those situations. Direct preaching is not going to be very effective if you are concerned about sharing your faith with her.

So I don't recommend leaving her. But you do have to guard yourself and figure out what it means for you to be a Christian and still love your friend. If she is doing morally questionable things that make you feel as if you are compromising your faith by involving yourself, then you need to decide where you will draw a line.

Maybe it will mean not watching the movies with her that she wants, but finding other things to do with her instead. If you explain your aversion not as in, "It's wrong because God says so!" but actually can explain the bad effects it has on you personally, then she will understand better why you think it's wrong and that you are not rejecting her but merely taking care of yourself. The more personal you make it, the more relevant it becomes and the less invasive it seems to her.

You will have to rely more on your deeds than your words. Obviously your friend is aware of your Christian background now, so you don't need to keep "hard-selling" her. She knows that if she has questions, she can come to you. The only thing that will make faith real to her is to see yours in action, both in your own life and in how you relate to her as a human being.

Opportunities where you can sacrifice for her and take care of her (genuinely, because you care about her, not as a witnessing ploy) will give you and God more credibility. You can also invite her along to Christian things, or tell her where you are going and give her the option to join you -- with no pressure involved. You don't even need to ask her to come, to be honest. Just talk about what you're doing and when; include her in that part of your life, without forcing her to join.

Anyway, it's very much a long-haul thing. She's immersed in stuff that is hard to change overnight. It will not be easy, and caring about someone you feel is doing destructive things / will hurt themselves is painful. But that's love.

Sticking it out with her, putting up the boundaries for yourself that you need in order to stand with a clear conscience before God, and giving her "invitation" to God (where she can see the opportunity and must make a decision on her own) rather than preaching and trying to coerce her is the better way to go.

Answer 2

Share your faith by living your life the way you believe is right, being her friend and accepting her for who she is. She already knows you're a Christian, so if you live a life full of love, acceptance and compassion, you'll plant those seeds.
Talking at her about these things aren't going to help at this point, and she's heard it all anyway. Just LOVE her. Odds are good she'll ask questions at some point, but even if she doesn't, she's seen your example, and that may affect her years later when she's ready.

Answer 3

You are imposing your religious beliefs on her. If Christianity was the religion she was ment to have then she would. You have 1 of two choices to make, first either you should stop being friends with her if it bothers you so much that she does things that you don't like then stop hanging out with her, The other choice you have to make is just be her friend and stay a christian without worrying about what YOUR God is gonna say about her behavior....Let people decide for themselves. Forcing something on someone only makes them push farther away from it.

Answer 4

Do not reach out to her as a chrsitian, but as a friend.

The moment you invoke God, she will shut you out.

It is best if you put the religion aspect to one side and just talk about getting her life off of drugs.

She will come around to religion when she feels the need to.

You cannot force a person into faith and you can never force a person into your faith.

And who's to say that witchcraft isn't a faith system. She believes in something, even if it isn't what you believe in.

Answer 5

It's good you know the person very well and she is willing to talk to you. Religion should be a way of life to some degree, how you carry yourself is based on the teachings from the bible I assume. God has his timing in all things, so most important of all be patient and keep praying for her AND yourself. Also, you may not play the role in her eventual salvation which you may have in mind now (so you might feel frustrated? and really eager to be doing something - it's good as it shows that you care). It may very well be adequate that she knows one of her loving best friend is God-fearing, and not just a God (there's really only one) but one who has many many "characteristics" that are worthy of celebrating, day and night. Occasionally sing a tune of hyme to praise God in front of her, although I suspect she'd ask you to drop it right away? Above all, be careful not to be dragged astray with ideas/acts that you know are inappropriate. I would suggest not to engage "her" music and movies. I used to think to influence you need to understand and kinda participate in, I question that notion and apparently now you do. You feel you have not separated yourself from it and have ruined your testimony. But I'd say don't lose heart. Continue to seek strength in the Lord in your life, and don't look to tell her what she would benefit from turning to Jesus. Rather continue to lead a truly peaceful and joyful life that only God can grant and just be cheerful around her and letting her know your positive spirit is from God because he so loves you. I'm wondering how old you are. Make sure you LOVE her!!! but not to be involved with her or do what she does!!!! Very very important. Eventually she will realize you have something good and she will open up I assure you. Praise be to God.

Answer 6

Just pray. Be her friend. But pray continuously for her. It is impossible to "change" her. Only the Holy Spirit can do that work. If she's not ready to listen, don't speak it would be "throwing pearls to swine". No I am not saying that your friend is a pig... I'm sure you recognize that from Matthew 7:6. In Greek it's "Don't give the sacred to dogs". Simply put, if she's not going to receive anything, don't give it.
If you're really concerned about how you acted with her in the past, pray about how you should "fix" that so she'll recognize that you serve a holy God.
Again, the only answer is prayer.

Answer 7

You've never judged her, and yet your condemning what she believes? Sounds like you need some spiritual advice yourself. Leave her alone, her life is her choice, and if she doesn't want to hear your ideas about religion, don't bring it up. I can't imagine how movies and music could be morally questionable. I would start by re-evaluating your own beliefs, then explore other choices in religion.

Answer 8

I think you have crossed the line where your business stops.

You say you don't judge her, but I see the following statements by you that suggest you ARE judging her....

She does drugs and witchcraft.
She is confused and doesn't have a religion.
Her movies and music are 'morally questionable'.

None of the above statements are any of your business.
You're judging her!

When you stop judging her, maybe she'll open up.

It's nice of you to want to help your friend, but if you aren't asked, don't shove your religion down her throat. How many times do we need to remind Christians to mind their own business?

Answer 9

Religion is something personal. It can't be imposed on someone who isn't willing. She has to find her own way but always remain available if she ever does decide to talk to you about it.


There's something I've seen people say on here that makes me wonder. They're saying to not hang out with her and that stuff but didn't Jesus go to the people who society had rejected and written off as bad people?

Answer 10

Just let her do her own thing and be her friend. She might be confused or not but a person needs to find spiritual answers themselves or the answers are meaningless. Faith cannot be "shared" as a person's beliefs are totally their own. If you find her activities questionable you need to either 1)remove yourself from this person or 2)Let it go and just be friends