okay, I'm a christian 15 year old and currently in a relationship that is sexually active. Now, I never exactly wanted to start having sex, but she kinda pressured me into it say that "it would bring us closer". Now here I am... I don't know what to do. I want to stop having sex with her, but I KNOW if I do, she will break up with me. She says that she needs to have sex to express her love... I just want it to stop. I'm a christian and this is far from the lifestyle I'd hoped to be living. Please tell me, is there anything I can do? (Keep in mind that I do love this girl, and breaking up with her is just not an option...)
2006-07-15 02:57:20 · 24 answers · asked by HeartBreakAgony 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well there a many ways to express love for a person and sex is only one of them. You said you are a christian, if she needs to have sex to express her love but you seem to be able to love her without it. Doesn't that tell you something?????
2006-07-15 03:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by vhat40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either try to instill Christian values into her, so she will want to wait, or break up with her. You say breaking up is not an option, but you are 15 years old and I assume you go to church. Well, I say break it off, and get to know the girls at your church and build a relationship from there, because the girl at church will probably have the same values.
Also, ask the current girl why she wants to have sex. You can express love in many other ways. I'm guessing she may have been abused or convinced by someone that it is the ONLY way to express love.
2006-07-15 10:04:52 · answer #2 · answered by kevsnow00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she'll break up with you because of sex then she doesn't really love you that much now does she? What you have to do is what's best for yourself. Don't let others control your life, you control it. You're too young to be having sex and I have a friend who started at your age. He is 23 with a 7 year old son because his girlfriend lied about taking birth control. So, you see sex at your age can be very dangerous. Your girlfriend isn't mature enough to be having sex with you. Also, remember that this will not be your future wife. You two will mature and eventually break up. So, what you're really doing is prolonging the breakup process. Being 24 I can tell you that I changed A LOT since I was 15, and you will too. So, stop having sex and see what happens. Tell her that you don't want it anymore and would like to wait. If she breaks up with you, your relationship was only based on sex and that's not what a relationship is about!
2006-07-15 10:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by TonyDrummond 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, believe it or not I had the same problem...except I'm not christian. Tell her what you think about it and that you know she loves you enough without her having to "express it". Tell her something about how you don't want to ruin HER life by getting her pregnant(making sure she knows she's more important than you is imporant), and in a few years when you're older you can start again. If she needs someone for sex, just have her get a dildo...no offense, but she's gonna get it somewhere if not you, so be prepared and watchful for signs of cheating just in case she decides she wants it now anyways. Tell her that sex kind of violates your religion that young. Hope it all works out.
2006-07-15 10:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Pyromaniac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, once you start having sex with someone, you can't just stop. You shouldn't have let her pressure you in the first place.
Explain to her how you feel. She may not get it. At that point, the only two options are continue having sex, or break it off. Neither option is good, but you pretty much got yourself into a no-win situation there buddy.
2006-07-15 10:05:54 · answer #5 · answered by Guppy Geek 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you love this girl, but if she really loves you...she will be willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. She obviously doesn't really know what love is at this point because she thinks that she can only express it through having sex. Tell her how you are feeling...if she is the one that God wants you to be with....she will understand and be willing to do what you need to feel good about yourself. Try talking to her about other ways that you can express your love for each other....spend time together doing things were sex isn't an option....things in public. Good luck.
2006-07-15 10:04:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her dad. That will put an end to it right away.
But seriously, it's very difficult to close the barn door after the horse has already left, if you know what I mean.
Are you using protection against pregnancy? Please tell me you are!
I don't hold much hope for the relationship weathering this storm. If she wants sex, she will find it someplace else if you don't provide it.
On the up side, you are very young, and you will find love again. I don't think you should be putting out just to keep her.
Maybe you'll get lucky and she won't break up with you if you stop having sex with her. Can't you talk to her and tell her how uncomfortable this is making you?
2006-07-15 10:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going to get answers out of girls like your fiirst answer on the list if you were a girl they would be telling you to tell the guy to back off so you would be best to adress this Q: to the guys you would get alot of smart a$$ answers but you also would get impartial answers too.
My oppion in she sounds like she has a hole in her soul and that's the only way she knows how to fill it. So you have beliefs that you practice and she should respect you for that and if she is willing to compromise your beliefs for her sexual gratification then it doesn't sound like someone you would be with in the long run anyway. Stick to your beliefs and the right person will come along.. Man I can"t believe I'm telling someone not to have sex! lol
2006-07-15 10:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by "THE BEAST" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first off if she knows anything about you and ur christian lifestyle she would respect you from the begining tell her that having sex all the time doesnt bring you closer to her it just makes you want to say no trust me just by telling her that she will reconsider and if she doesnt then tell her you love her for who she is not what she can do you are suposed to have sex after marraige not b4 and she should know that and if she doesnt then i guess she isnt for you im sorry
2006-07-15 10:09:58 · answer #9 · answered by alex h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to be completely honest with her and tell her that you feel pressured. Tell her that this is not something you want in your life right now, and then leave it up to her. If she's so callous that she would break up with you for not having sex with her, then she's not worth the heartache anyway. If she loves you, she'll understand. Good luck.
2006-07-15 10:10:56 · answer #10 · answered by Andi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋