I need help replacing words that I use on a daily basis. My young children ask for definitions.?

Question

When I'm angry I don't like to stop yelling and gently explain what a word means. i.e.

1. You guys are so ' Unappreciative'!
2. Will you stop with all the 'Ridiculousness'!
3. Don't 'Disregard,Disrespect' me!
4. Stop 'Tormenting, Instigating, Aggravating,' him/her.
5. Other words which I find them having a hard time understanding are 'Stop, No, Now, and Hush'.

Please help me find alternatives to these words so that I can enjoy my disciplining.

Thank you.

I don't like to make my children feel bad, or belittle them. I'm only trying to teach them morals and help them to grow into fine adults. I want them to understand that when you are a caring and loving individual, that is the most rewarding thing. They are too young to understand that having instant gratification to every want is not o.k. My kids are wonderful and very smart and loving. I don't want that to change. I'm afraid of them growing up. I'm sorry for my rambling, but this is my world. this is what I do.

Answer 1

Don't yell ..... it doesn't get you anywhere, especially as they get older. Quietly explain to them the appropriate behavior and why.

Words that are used in our house --

"That's not appropriate behavior"

"That is not acceptable behavior"

"Manners please" instead of "Say please / thank you"

"There will be catostrophic consequences for your actions"

When they were very young, we played a game at the house called "Still as a Statue". We would all run around and then I would say "Still as a Statue" and we would all freeze. I would wait 10 - 15 seconds and the say "Unfreeze - March". Then they had to get in line quickly and march. After a march around the yard / room. I would say "Freedom" and they could run again. They had a great time with this game. And would ask to play it Now here's why I did it. Unloading several little ones out of a car in a parking lot is a scary time. I could take them out of the car, place them next to the car and say "Still as a Statue" and they would stand there quietly while I unbuckled the others. No wild runners in the parking lot !!!! Then on "Unfreeze, march" they would walk right beside me into the store.

It is a rare occasions that I lift my voice to my children. The results are that I get compliments all the time on how well my children behave --

Check out some of the parenting books if you want to learn to be a non yeller. Check several out of your local library and then decide which one you would like to purchase so you can refer back to it often.

Good luck .....

Answer 2

Yelling out the words is not going to solve the problems, just make them worse, since the kids will see they can get away with anything, provided they just put up with a bit of yelling from you. The problem will get worse as time goes on. Will it help you feel better to blow off the steam? Probably, but you might feel guilty later or at least more disregarded and disrespected.
A better idea is to get up quietly in their faces and show them you are 100 % serious. Not yelling at them, but just quietly stating the facts, while separating them if necessary and giving them appropriate consequences will get their attention and respect. If it happens in the car, in a restaurant or other public place, take control immediately and take them home. No friends, no swimming, no ice cream, no movie. Quietly and consistently enforce your rules, without an outburst of temper. It will be better for them all in the ling run. Children have a very strong innate sense of justice. Your yelling at them might be overreacting and not fair. Be stronger with yourself and with the kids and always remember it is good enough to be a good parent who is honestly trying. You don't have to be perfect. They will appreciate you a lot, though perhaps not until they start to have kids of their own.
If you need to blow off steam, do it here rather than with the kids.

Answer 3

that is funny, but this is normal for small children. i was having an adult conversation with my husband and used the word odoriferous if that is spelled right. and my son asked what the heck that word was and what it meant. i told him the definition and he now uses it when appropriate. but another word for ridiculous is silly
tormenting
instigating etc. picking on/ fighting/ being mean.
disrespect me is hard but i tell my 7 year old that he is hurting my feelings.

you need to remember that they are just little people right now and they really don't understand what some of the big words mean and how they are used. i just explain the meaning and how to use the word and my son picks up on it and starts using big words. some of his friends say that he is a dork or weird for knowing such words. even his teacher has commented about his vocabulary and how advanced it is.

good luck

Answer 4

Most children will listen when you simply place a stern hand on their chin and say "Hey....Please stop what you are doing. It is not good for you to do such and such and it is making me feel bad." Just explain what words mean as well if they say Huh??? Take a deep breath. If you spend too much time disciplining you may miss out on the real fun.

Answer 5

Depends solely on the age of the child and mentality. I found that when my kids were younger, i could tell them that i did not like what they were doing, it hurt mommys feelings. Or "that isnt good- you need to stop now", but most of the time a quick glance usually stopped them dead in their tracks.

I tried everything from removing them from whatever they were doing to time outs.

Now since they are older i can talk to them and they understand those words you listed above (excpet my 14 yo who at this point doesnt understand much...lol)

Answer 6

It sounds like you need some more personal time for yourself, I have found that if I use sentences like "we don't do this or that" it teaches the child that it is not against them personally, it is just a way of life that we live, no questions need to be asked...hope this helped

Answer 7

Well first of all you apprently know what they mean unless you would not use them.

Why dont you just explain it to them . I am not understanding. You can use it and know what you mean but you can not explain to them what you mean.

Maybe look up some local parenting classes.

Answer 8

as a teen, yelling at children makes them feel worse...perhaps you should let off your steam in some other way and then sit down and talk to them...

Answer 9

I hope someone can answer this for you...

My boys especially have a hard time with 'Stop, Quiet, No, Quit and Hush'

Although they do understand 'Spanking' very well. ;o)

Answer 10

why are you yelling at you kids in the first place