I lost my dear mom about 3 years ago and My dad married again...?

Question

But she is really .........
I mean I cant suffer her behaviours and thoughts at all .In this period she annoyed me so much but I didnt say anything even to my dad.
But some days ago that I heared from downstairs that she is speaking bad about me , I finished being silent.....
that night I had a bad conversation with her .Ofcourse she started that. and after that I havent seen my dad.......
the distance between my dad and I is some stairs !!!!
and he doesnt come to see me ......
What should I do ?

Answer 1

Go upstairs and tell him you need to talk with him. Tell him that you want him to be happy with his new wife, but that you and she just dont get along, but that you will try to make things tolerable. Be the adult.

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your loss. Having a parent "move on" is difficult, and surely you must be feeling some emotion about your father's choice to "reinvent himself." His wife may not be what you like, but she is "his choice," and it is important to honor that. First of all, an apology to his wife is in order. Invite your father's wife to tea, and have a woman to woman talk. You may explain that you are still grieving (if this is the case) but you are happy with your father's choice. Second, have an outing with your dad, and apologize to him for your behavior, and tell him that you never will pull another stunt like that again. Interference is not honest...it's the age old pitting one against the other routine. Tell Dad that it's not going to be the same without mom, because you still miss her a whole lot. Supporting your father is part of your job as a daughter, no matter whom he marries. It's his business. Don't put anyone in the way of your and your father's relationship. Brave deeds, this is the only way that I can best see that you get yourself out of this snafu. This is your family, for God's sake. Don't let annoyances get in the way of the people that matter the most in the world! All the best.

Answer 3

I am sorry that you lost your mom, I know how you feel. If the distance between you and your dad is some stairs how often do you go to see him? Unfortunately your dad didnt choose his new wife to suit you. He loves her and will be spending the rest of his life with her. I am sure your dad loves you very much but there will come a time when you will leave. I think you should grow up and make some effort to get on with your fathers new wife and make the effort to go and see your father rather than expecting him to come see you.

Answer 4

Ok girl...I can relate. When I was younger my dad left my mom for another women. She fas a fricken Biotch! She would always blame everything on me. Saying I broke stuff when I didn't, saying I back talked when I didn't. She would say anything that she could to make my dad get mad at me. There was nothing that I could do, if I told my dad that she was laying...then she would just say the same about me. My dad never believed me. THE ONLY THING THAT YOU CAN DO IS TELL YOUR DAD THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND THAT YOU WANT HIM IN YOUR LIFE. GO TO LUNCH OR DINNER JUST THE TWO OF YOU AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU ARE FEELING. Tell him that your problem with her is that she is bad mouthing you. Then you tell her...that she needs to keep your name out of her mouth unless she is being nice. That you both share the love of one man and that she needs to be civil to you. That doesn't mean that she needs to adore you....but be an adult. Maybe you should take her to lunch and confront her. Ask her what her problem with you is. If your dad has not come to see you then you can obviously see that this women means something to him. If you want your dad in your life, it's sad to say, but you've got to be the bigger women. Also, you can't have hard feelings towards her cause she is with your dad and your mother isn't. it isn't her fault. I am sure that your father still loves your mother and misses her. But you can't take that pain out on her.

Answer 5

Some times life put us in difficult situations, maybe it is an exam for us... and we have to study well to get good results..

I know your dad is very important for you, be honnest with him.. tell him every thing about what happened... but say it with a nice way...
try to control your anger when sayin what happened..
to let your dad be on your side...
and remind him.. how you and him.. you miss your mom.. His wife.. and how You was happy then.. remind him of good moments.
And tell him.. u dont hate her (his present wife) but she is treating you with a bad way...

Be direct ... a straight line is the short way between too points.. So be honnest, direct and Dont lose Your dad... Let him feel comfort and wana talk with u..
with ur nice way.

Good Luck...

Answer 6

This is hard to say because as an adult and the father, it really is your Dad's responsibility to make you happy and comfortable and feeling loved in your own home. Your Dad is definitely in the wrong to ignore this impass in your relationship, but you're writing this question because you're ready to take the responsibility your father is struggling with. Now that I've blamed your father, I'll recommend how to help the situation.
First, try looking in the mirror; it's cliche, but will help you fix what's broken. Is your new stepmom on your bad side because you see her as trying to replace your mom? I'm guessing your feelings of loss haven't been resolved and the new stepmom is an easy target to unleash some of those feelings and help you feel better. Does it drive you nuts just to hear her speak? Do simple everyday actions of her cause you to loathe her? If this is the case, you might want to work on controlling your feelings and recognize as a human being she has the right to pursue happiness even if it is with your father. Part of this path is separating her from your Mom; they are two completely different people with a commonality of appreciating your father for the great person i'm sure he is. You don't mention anything she directly does outside of speaking bad about you, but what exactly is she saying? Many people, even mature adults, have difficulty dealing with emotions. Is it possible she's feeling rejected by you and her animal instinct is to lash back at you? I told you this was hard!!
You're expecting your father to come see you, and you're absolutely right, he should (here i am blaming Dad again!), but it's true... since what's fair and what should happen is not happening, you should take control of your situation. Don't expect him to come to you. He's stuck between 2 people he cares about and is lost in what to do. In order for you to cross that gap, you'll need to accept your Dad's new wife for what she is. A person that he loves, respects, and cares about. If your Dad is happy and she does not hurt him, then you owe it to your father to help him and be by his side in the pursuit of happiness! Once you realize in your mind that this woman is not evil (assuming again she's not evil and is good to your dad), you will be able to accept her as a human being just looking to love and be loved - that's what you want or your wouldn't have posted this question. Once you're able to cross this barrier, you'll be able to walk down those steps and speak to both of them respectfully, as an adult, and appreciate them both for what they can offer to each other.
You're welcome to write me back if there are other things affecting your feelings, but something as devastating as losing your Mom forces you to learn a lot more about life earlier than you feel ready to sometimes. This is one of those things and i do wish you all the best in getting to know your stepmom and seeing what your dad sees.

Answer 7

You poor thing. I feel so bad for you. How old are you? I think you need to have a heart to heart with your dad. He should have been there for you. I'm sorry but that really makes me angry. You don't need to be treated this way. Your step-mother is an idiot. Fathers don't stand up for their children enough in these situations. If you need to talk, click on my picture and write me. I'll be there for you. Sorry honey. Good luck.

Answer 8

your stepmom can never fill your mom shoes.Give her a chance and maybe you 2 can be good friends.Life is suppost to go on if she was a bad person I don't think your dad would have married her.You are putting your dad in an ockward situation.Try talking to your dad when she is not around and let him know that you think the step mom doesn't like you and maybe everything will get straightened out.

Answer 9

Theres really nothing, expect talk to your dad about it. My dad did the same thing, now I live 6 states away and never talk to him. He didnt even care when I had his grandson. I hope it goes better with you though, try everything to still talk to him.

Answer 10

Pray to the Lord for guidance. Your dear birth mom is in a better place. Just remember that.