Willys cynical thought for th day;
Never buy a coffin without a freaking lifetime guarantee!
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes!
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You?"
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough/"
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries!
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple has a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason reported that he firmly believes in them and has already seen them on at least 2 occasions.
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-15 01:09:39 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Quotations
From; Willys Jokes archies! The best, online, jokes around!
2006-07-15 01:13:03 · update #1
Thanks. I loved Hollywood Squares, especially the original one. I loved Match Game too. Got any of those in your "archies"? don't you mean "archives"?
2006-07-15 03:04:32 · answer #1 · answered by kitten lover3 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Some, funny, Hollywood Squares quotes I don't think I've seen before... ?
Willys cynical thought for th day;
Never buy a coffin without a freaking lifetime guarantee!
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as...
2015-08-06 03:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA, that's some funny sh!t!!
2006-07-15 09:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
love'em!
2006-07-15 12:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by Alauria B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋