why is being adopted such a big issue for people?

Question

i know someone who is adopted and seeing the reaction of people when they know about it is quite sick.. and soemtimes my friends gets quite depressed...

well i am adopted too and so is my brother.. but i have never felt ashamed.. but i dont know sometimes i just feel very unwanted and disgusted that i was maybe a mistake or a curse..
my friend who is adopted is quite different in her thinking but sometimess she makes me feel like i am abnormal not to feel bad...
well i dont know wat to do..

Answer 1

I think adoption is great! But my mom on the other hand believes that one's own child is better than an adopted one, because one's own child is more likely to care for the parents than an adopted child. The other thing my mom believes is that since an adopted child has no paternal history, they are more likely to be bad or something...when I know that isn't true.

I actually never want to get pregnant (I am totally scared of labor ) so, I intend to adopt...and regardless what people say I think adoption is a great! There are a lot of kids out there who need a good home, and if one is willing to give that child a home then what is the problem...I don't seem anything wrong with it.

Answer 2

Yes very good question, Answer=(my Point of view) Adoption is looked down upon and it may belittle a human but there's always a reason for giving up a child. Your friend (if he or she wants to), may be able to find out why they were given up for adoption. People usually see adoption as negative, they assume the parents were some sort of drug dealers, or the child was beaten. My sister has a huge home and she loves children so inturn she has about 4 kids (foster) that come and go every couple of months until Social services can provide a home for them. Some children do come from a distorted and grotesque background but others just don't. What i see i adoption as , is a second chance at life. If the parents didnt want the child they would have an abortion and thus killing the unborn child. Just see the adoption as the parents wanting a better life for the child, one which they would not be a ble to provide.

Answer 3

People still have a lot of old ideas about adoption and it's kind of like bigots, it's passed down from generation to generation so it will take time before those with the old ideas are gone.

I've adopted 3 children and often times still get the reaction from others that there is something special about my husband and I for 'taking these kids in'.

Our response is that we are the lucky ones and their birth parents are the special ones. They are the ones that loved their children so much that they chose to give them up to families who could care for them when they, for whatever reason, could not.

I give my kids as much information about their birth families as I can, they know why we are their parents and why their birth families didn't keep them and when ever they have questions, we give them answers.

I don't believe any mother doesn't want her child. I do believe that when a mother chooses adoption - it is one of the most loving things, and the most difficult things to do - but it's a choice made out of love.

If your friend is open to accepting that - it wont matter what other people say or how they react.

Answer 4

Being adopted is a wonderful thing. It is quite an unselfish act to give a child up for adoption. It is not an easy decision for any new mother. A child is born in the heart. No baby is a mistake. We are all created in God's love and he doesn't make mistakes. You should feel blessed that your parents wanted you so much and that your birth mother was so unselfish and loved you so much. You have a family who loves you and you are their child no matter how they got you. Embrace life for it is short and you will regret fretting over how your parents got you. The point that matters is that they did get you and you got them. Give them big hugs and tell them you love them and move on.

Answer 5

I was adopted. You never get over the feeling that you were a baby and not wanted by your birth parents. Then people who find out treat you like you are contaminated and your parents were horrible to give you up. I don't know all the reasons I was adopted, but it has changed my life and I know people treat you like something is wrong with you if your parents didn't want you or they were crazy, poor, etc. I owe no explanation to those questions, but it leaves a person with a feeling of shame. Your friend needs to read
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Answer 6

i never hear anything like that before.
Where do you live?
Usually it does not matter either way to people,
if i were to have to say anything about something that is really none of my business, i would say, that in most cases an adopted person has a greater chance of living a stable loving life, because people that are allowed and granted the child or baby in an adoption, are happpily married, financially secure, or at least stable when they take the steps to adopt and it is in processing, and welcome a life into their life permantly. and the whole concept is positive, why would anyone consider that "quite sick"?,

Answer 7

Both my wife and myself are adopted. I've never run into anyone who had anything negative to say about it. Sometimes they ask questions, but never anything rude.

I think adoption is one of the best things a young mother could do for her child. My parents always told me, most parents are stuck with the children they have, but they got to CHOOSE me, wich I always got a kick out of lol

Answer 8

some think that adoption is worse than abortion. because it means the child isnt wanted and will create problems for the child.
but if your friend is in a loving family than s/he should know that that is not true, if it was, s/he wouldn't have been adopted would s/he?

Answer 9

Cos people always talk no matter what the issue
and they make u feel sick about yourself
so in short people are sick

Answer 10

Because they lack common sense.
Never mind about the people. Ignore them.
Mind your self.