Who wants a best answer? Give me a clean but a nice joke.?

Question

Whoever is the first one to make me smile or laugh, ill make it as a best answer.

Answer 1

God is Missing
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"

Answer 2

The 10 Most Important People in a Woman's Life
1. The doctor because he says, "Take off your clothes"
2. The dentist because he says, "Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The milkman because he says, "Do you want it in the front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says, "Once you have it all in, you'll love it!"
6. The banker because he says,"If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The police officer because he says, "Spread 'em"
8. The mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.
Additional Details

Ten Top Reasons Computers Are Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

9. A better model is always just around the corner.

8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home.

7. It is always necessary to have a backup.

6. They'll do whatever you say, if you push the right buttons.

5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

3. The lights are on but nobody's home.

2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.

1. Size does matter.

Answer 3

Recently i posted this one
****************
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing
out some of the rules. The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds forall male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second timewill be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, How much for a
season pass?

Answer 4

Where Is God?

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer.

So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"


The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"

Answer 5

u are already smiling by the response u got by asking this questions. Right?
and u are smiling right now reading my answer or u just shocked.
hey i don't need your 10 points Thank u.

Answer 6

The priest decides to skip church one day and play golf instead. Up in heaven, watching him, are St. Peter and God. St. Peter turns angrily to God and demands,"You're not going to let him get away with that, are you?" God just smiles and shakes his head. The priest swings, whacks, and scores a hole-in-one. St. Peter is enraged and asks God,"What happened? I thought you were going to punish him!" God gives a wide grin and says,"Who's he going to tell?"

Answer 7

1- a woman went to a dentist 4 a gum surgery with her head phones on, after the surgery, the dentist removed the head phones so he could tell her that he's done with the surgery. but before he could tell her that, his wife called, and they talked about 5 min.
after the phone call, he found out that the woman is dead, he didnt know why.
when the cops arrived , they found the cause of her death was
she was listening to a therapist on tape saying: breath in, breath out breath in, breath out ...(when the dentist removed the head phones, she stopped breathing )
________________________________

2- Why did the witch put a watch on the end of her broomstick?











She wanted time to fly.
______________________________

3- What do you call a smelly teletubby?


















Stinky Winky!
_________________________

4- How do you get a baby ghost to lie down flat?









Use a spirit level
________________________

5- What did ET's mother say to him when he got home?


















Where on EARTH have you been!?
_______________________________________

Answer 8

I learned this one when I was 6 years old. Laughed so hard, I never forgot it.

What does a 500 lb. mouse say?


"Here kitty, kitty."

Answer 9

hickory dickory dock
three mice ran up the clock
The clock stuck one
but the other two escaped with out injury

Answer 10

There were two muffins baking in an oven. The first muffin turned to the second muffin and said, "Geez, it sure is hot in here!"
To which the other muffin replied, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"