Do you agree?

Question

My lovely 32 mos old boy is wonderful cept potty traiining. We did that conquered that, did that and yet failed 2 weeks later. but this isn't my question... my question is...how or why is anything other than "NO" telling your child acceptable?

I read lots of answers on here and apparently everyone is tellling you to spank or hit the child if they are doing something wrong ..something wrong as little as "throwing a toy" I do not have this problem since I tell my lil one Not to do it when he tries..cause believe me he tries...But I DON'T GET When people give advice to spank or even strike a hand to the children.

I am coming from somewhere that I haven't ever been spanked or hit am I wong?

Answer 1

He needs punishment when he's still a toddler. He can understand what NO means only when he's a little older (like six or seven years old).

Answer 2

I agree with you. It seems a lot of peoples first answer is a belting. As for the person who said the child has to be 7 to understand NO, well that shows why kids are the way they are today. Mine understood the word No by 9 months (then at 9.5 months it was mt daughters first word lol) In the beggining I admit it was said with a tap on the hand (not to hurt, they are babies but they got the message no is not good) Sometimes I do believe a smack is the fastest way to get a message across...for example when they run onto the road. One smack on the leg is the quickest way to make them understand that it is dangerous and there is no compromise on running onto the road but only use this in extreem circumstances. Time out can begin at 2 (mine spent most of that year in it....twin 2 year olds SHUDDER) I now have very well behaved kids. If a toy is thrown, it's simple..say NO THROWING (short and to the point) if it is thrown again take away the toy, the child will figure it out pretty quickly.
The thing that gets me is that these people who believe in spanking are the ones who have a pink fit at the suggestion of soap in the mouth for swearing. Apparently that equals child abuse, if they swear you beat their a.r.s.e, soooo that's not child abuse? It's no wonder their are so many abusive kids in school...they are learning it at home

Answer 3

Not everyone has the luxury of having a child listen when you tell them no. I spank my daughter. I don't do it every time she does something wrong, though. If you have to tell a child no multiple times and they still do it then there's nothing wrong with a little spanking. So many of the non-spanking people make it sound like those of us who do spank are horrible people and we abuse our kids. Maybe some people do, but it's not everyone who spanks. I don't think spanking should be the first reaction to every disciplinary issue, but I do think it should be used in some instances. It's not abuse, it's discipline. If you are asking because of your potty training issue, then no, this is not a reason to spank your child. Potty training can take time and just because they don't take to something they haven't been doing for the first two years of their lives doesn't mean you should hit them.

Answer 4

If it is a minor thing like throwing a toy, tell him NO 3 times, if he wont listen, take away the toy. Do that consistently, every time and he will get the message. If it is a dangerous action, there is nothing wrong with spanking. Toddlers need to know that there are negative consequences for negative actions and for some really bad actions spanking is the only strong enough negative reinforcement.

Answer 5

There is a difference between ABUSE and DISCIPLINE. O.k. , i understand when people say not to spank your child because as kids they were abused and it has screwed them up, but there is a difference between the two words. A small swat on the hand for touching stuff they shouldn't is in no way abuse. All children need discipline at one point or another. Some peole tend to think that is child abuse, but come on back when we were young there was no such thing. It teaches manners and respect for other people and things that don't belong to them. I am a very strict parent but if you take a look at my child most parents are impressed. Of course he still acts up at times, but don't all kids. I control that with a simple look or a snap of a finger. This is called having your kids in control. And i don't mean control like an animal, i mean when its time to chill out you come and sit down and take a break, with no arguing. And also, its not that throwing a toy in your house is wrong, but i tell my son you have to be careful because when there's other kids around you don't want him to think its o.k. and then that toy hits another kid!! You have to think of other situations you might put your kid in, because if you let them think its o.k. by not saying anything then your child can end up hurting or breaking something thats not theirs.

Answer 6

Spanking is not good, use other methods to correct the child. Sometimes children don't understand, so try to talk with them first and them correct what is not right with out spanking. Instead of spanking you could try time outs, or take away a privilege .

Answer 7

You hit, you teach hitting.
You yell, you teach yelling.

When your son does something good, praise. You are teaching confidence.
If you catch him doing something right and praise him the rewards will be doubled. When you react with anger or despair, he takes a step backwards. Obviously, he wet his pants knowing the right thing to do, so maybe there is something else that is bothering him. Two year olds do not have great communication skills, but their understanding is 100%.
Give a hug, pick up his wet pants and talk to your son. Actually watch his reaction when you treat him as an individual, not as someone that is constantly taking orders.
You talk to him now and he will talk to you when he is sixteen. Don't prepare the mold for future barriers.

Answer 8

You're not wrong at all. Those who hit their children, and those who advise to do it, aren't "resorting" to anything. They're jumping to the easiest course of action, and they're doing it stupidly, without anything other than tradition, bias, and complete thick-headedness to justify their actions. Children need to be challenged to whatever level of greatness or maturity they are capable of, given their age, intellect, and emotional capacity. Using "traditional" parenting skills, which can be summed up into threats, consequences, and bribery, you can successfully woo or terrify your child into a pretty little, well-disciplined box which will seethe, awaiting a future time to explode. Or, by eliciting strength through proper challenges and confrontation, you can not only help your child overcome his issues, you can build an increasingly powerful individual. These idiots who "whip" their children into shape create cowering wimps, brown-nosing suck-ups, or completely rebellious brats. This is a big issue. I could go on and on about it. But suffice it to say, in response to your question: You are NOT wrong. Keep on your course, and your child will be the better for it.

Answer 9

no, you are a parent you do know what to do in this kind of situation. People tell to spank thier kids but at that age, it's not wise to spank them. There are better ways to train your child like giving rewards when they did something good. spanking does only negative feeling to that child.

Answer 10

I have spanked my children a total of 5 times...(if that much), total, for two kids and one is in college and one is in middle school.

I can raise my voice, and bring fear to my children, so, I would rather not raise my hand to them...

My Son is a great kid, my Daughter needs further discipline, but she is "getting it"...(those teen years...sheesh!).

My Father used to beat me so bad, that I had welts on my body...(In fact, my teacher was going to turn him into the Police once, because I couldnt sit down in class!).

I grew up hating my father AND my family!! (It took me many years, to finally "forgive" them all...

So, I will "not" beat my child, unless my wife is there to supervise, because if I started, I would probably lose control as it was done to me, and I SWORE I would never do that!!! So, every time, I "did" have my wife there, to supervise, because she knows my "history"...

Kids are doing fine, and the girl... well, she "will" learn proper discipline, as in taking away of her privledges...(teens HATE when you take away thier phones, TVs, Radios, CD players and all that silly stuff...)

I wish you well..

Jesse