why is it so damn hard to leave a man even though you know the relationship isnt healthy?

Question

been with tthe guy for 5 and a half years. doesnt bath enough, has to be asked to do things alot and even then he eoither forgets or bitches about it. also when i ask him to do something alot of the time he says " only if you do something for me" not the exact words but it is usually something like " only if you clean the dishes" or something to that affect. i would put more in here but there is so much that i dont want to go into detail

Answer 1

Routine. To put it in a word. You are comfortable and change, ANY change can be a scary thing. Even with all the BS that he does and says its known BS. It would be nice to say its love that keeps relationships like yours together but I doubt it from what you say here. You don't even use the word love in the question.

My advice? Leave before 5 years becomes 10 becomes 20 ect.

Answer 2

When people don't feel good about themselves, they tend to be bad to themselves and drag the people the know and love down with them. It's seems that this person has poor habits and lower self-esteem. I think he (and YOU) need some help. (We ALL need help from time to time.)

Also, if he ever WAKES UP from his funk, then he will need something to keep his mind alert and occupied. Interaction with other people would be helpful, and maybe a hobby would be beneficial too!

If he is not willing to change, you might need to pick up and leave. It's hard to walk away, because you have invested YOURSELF into the relationship. It hard to leave that all behind. It's like admitting defeat. But if you STAY in a bad relationship, then the ORIGINAL YOU will die off, and there wouldn't be anything left but an empty shell of a person.

Answer 3

Hello there! I know how you feel. Before, I can't let go of my boyfriend even though he's become complacent and passive in our relationship. It only got me depressed and down most of the time, because he appears as if he doesn't want our relationship to work. So I decided to start taking control of myself since my life wasn't going anywhere, and broke up with him a few months ago. Right now, I'm dating guys from wealthymendotcom and never looked back ever since!

Answer 4

I think we get this mental image of our future with the person we are with, and when things aren't right we let things slid to keep the mental ideal. It's so very hard to give up on our dreams. I hope you are strong enough to walk away. You should be with a man that loves you and isn't playing games with you.

Answer 5

i won't have the ability to chat for all men, yet i'm going to provide you my motives. I married youthful, and dumb. That became right into a mistake. And there have been issues approximately my spouse that gave me greater of a 'unfastened bailout' card than maximum... i found out after marrying her, that she had severe clinically determined psychological/emotional subject concerns that she does not take meds for. It became right into a rollercoaster to declare the least. in my opinion, I had to do each thing that i ought to to make the marriage artwork, via fact i became into raised to admire marriage so strongly. If i did no longer do each thing i ought to to artwork together with her, i might have seen it a brilliant failure of mine. So I caught with it, yet I wasn't idle, i did no longer basically 'enable it proceed'. I took steps, I made measurable efforts, i attempted putting aside time to chat together with her on a daily basis, in straightforward terms for the sake of speaking. i attempted going with a number of her pastimes, being supportive that way; I even went so some distance as to study Dr. Phil. enable me inform you some thing. Dr. Phil is an fool. I digress, the factor right this is that i did no longer *basically* no longer go away, I did issues, i in my opinion tried to improve the region via fact she agreed to attempt with me. She not at all did, and while her family participants started telling me approximately infidelity problems... It became into time to call it quits. basically in time, too, I controlled to stay clean of an STD that she picked up.

Answer 6

i had the same problem. i was with a guy for the same amount of time as u and had the same problem. it took me a year to finally divorce him. its hard but it can be done. sounds like u need to do it and find u a real man thats willing to do half the work around the house and keep u happy

Answer 7

I know what you mean, but if you are not happy, give an ultimadum. Or...think about this...if you stay in a situation and you are not happy, that is self-hatred, and you don't love yourself, because you don't take care of your needs. If it is 5 years, imagine 5 yrs more. Most people don't change, he probably won't.

Answer 8

Well, I believe woman like to suffer. Don't take this the wrong way but Love is one thing and when men do things that make us unhappy, well, we seem to stick around only because we are soooooo stuck on the cutesy stuff, my advice to you, look at yourself now. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with that man, who cant do something for you without EXPECTING something in return for HIMSELF, obviously, he is selfish and is only thinking of HIMSELF, so lets open our eyes and stand our ground, and kick that stinky couch potato out of your life!

Answer 9

In addition to him having very few redeemable qualities, I wonder if the relationship has also affected your own self-image, in that at this point in time you don't feel that you could do any better or that you've just grown to accept his faults in exchange for other securities the relationship provided to you.

Answer 10

Maybe you are addicted to abuse? Actually, it sounds a little like the bad boy syndrome. He has positive attributes and deep down you wish he could change his bad habits or idiosyncrasies. But lets face it, bad boys are more interesting and rarely boring.